anxiety

sorrellam30

I am having a lot of anxiety this week for some reason.  I have my second tri quad blood test on the 16th and I think that is why (I did not do my first trimester screen but dr was pretty adamant about this one).  I keep thinking about how my second beta only rose by 50% and whether that is indicative of a problem or not.  My betas after also doubled normally and I have had 5 ultrasounds that appear to be good.  But I can't seem to shake my worry.  I feel like I went straight from worrying about MC to worrying about birth defects.  I know there is nothing anyone can say or do and I just have to wait it out and see my results, just looking for some empathy!

sailorgal

I had a massive crying meltdown this morning because my husband couldn't come to do the Panorama screening this morning and because he's submitting a cheek swab, we have to wait til Friday now...only two more days which literally will not change anything. He was like "what is going on?!?" as I've been seemingly fine this whole time. The anxiety has just been building up around the "what ifs" and combined with poor sleep last night, I just couldn't handle it anymore. So you are not alone.

luvboston

If it makes you feel any better I have had two babies with wonky betas weird ultrasounds and bleeding. Lo1 turned out genetically perfect, lo2 bloodwork has come back fine we will see in a few weeks if he's as perfect as the blood test says.

The anxiety won't go away till the test is over so just get to it! Good luck!

sorrellam30

@sailorgal I am sorry you have to wait, I know two days is nothing but can feel like forever!

@luboston  it actually makes me feel a LOT better, I thought it was you that had told me you had wonky betas, I guess I am just nervous because sooo very few things go my way with fertility

Kam10

My first couple of betas did not double in 48 hours. First was 62 hours, second was 65 hours and finally the third was 45.5 hours. So far things seem to be going right on track for this little boy with a great N/T scan and awesome A/S. I think those of us who have suffered through IF always seem to wait for the other shoe to drop. At 21w I finally feel like I can breath a little. Hopefully you get to that point sooner than later, but please know that you are not alone!

sorrellam30

@kam10  I have literally used the expression "waiting for the other shoe to drop" with this pregnancy maybe 1,000 times.  I feel guilty not having faith in this child but I think my history has stolen it away from  me.  It's weird though, I was feeling pretty good until the Dr insisted I have this test, then my worry came back big time.  

On the plus side I just scheduled myself a prenatal massage for Saturday, hopefully that calms my crazy butt down

J&D2007

I am right here with you in the same boat. I went from obsessing about my betas, then to a missed m/c, then to the verifi, and now I've moved on to birth defects. I have no advice at all but wanted to wish you the best and tell you I'm thinking about you! I was feeling good for a whole day yesterday when my verifi results came back good, but today I am pretty crazy with worry about my first upcoming MFM appt next week and birth defects:-( I don't think this crazy worry is going to subside for either of us for a while unfortunately.

sorrellam30

@J&D2007  I truly hope we get to a point where we can just enjoy our pregnancies  

pblge

((hugs)) I don't think the betas matter one lick after good fetal development is observed by ultrasound. The first tri is just so hard. For me I didn't really relax and enjoy the pregnancy until after the a/s and movement started, but even now I have the "waiting for the other shoe to drop" feeling a lot. I'm not sure it goes away.

Hope your blood tests come back clear!!!

Julie21613

Trust me @sorrellam30, you are so not alone.  With DD I didn't rest easy till I started feeling movement on a regular basis.  I had an anterior placenta with her so I didn't feel movement till 21 weeks or so.  (both placentas are anterior this time too).  I think I finally felt like a  normal pregnant lady when I hit 26 weeks.  With this pregnancy I'm terrified of pre-term labor.  So worried about having to go on bed rest and then who will care for DD?  So I don't know if I will rest easy till these little ones arrive!  Hopefully not for another 16 weeks!  Jeesh.. that doesn't sound so long, considering I am now 16w3d!  :-)

Grateful&Thankful

I'm sorry you feel so anxious but I think many of us can relate to you. My lo's heartbeat didn't increase as much as other's lo's had by the 2nd u/s & I worried about that. I hate that it always feels like there is something to worry about! GL with your screening & I'll be checking in on you! (((HUGS))).