Anyone move far away from family for a job?

babybrielove

My husband is interviewing on the opposite side of the country for a job opportunity he is really excited about.  We both work full time and currently live two hours from our parents who visit every so often and help out when the kids are sick.  We also go to see them about every other month.  He doesn't feel there are enough job opps near us and is excited to look elsewhere.  This current position is in CA and we are in NY so very long flights with two kids 1 and 3 if we do move.  We are both close to our parents who would be sad if we left.  It's so hard b/c I need to weigh his job happiness and ability to make money for our family with the possibility of leaving a familiar place with family support. 

Any one else do this?  What was your experience?

djm31012

I have never done it and dont think we would. With 2 parents that work as many hours as we do, having family around has been monumental. Its not impossible, many people dont live near family, its just not for us. In that situation if you do wind up moving cross country, I would definitely hire a nanny and not rely on daycare or else sick days, dr appts etc are going to be a constant battle for who has to stay home and miss work.

I am curious where in NY you live that CA is the only place that presents decent opportunities. Even outside of NYC there are a ton of areas with lots of big corporations and job opportunities, that I would venture to say is closer to family and more convenient than a flight to CA.

kristennd

We did it but it was pre-children. Still, it made a difference when LO was born. The lack of help. Both grandmothers sad about not being as involved as they'd like. The ridiculous cost of visiting and the fun of flying with an infant/toddler.

But professionally, it definitely paid off for us both. And we're happy overall with the decision.

chloebeth930

Yep, we moved 800 miles away for DH's job.  When my dream job opened up here I took it.  Luckily my mom decided to move out here to be close to us.  There is no way we would ever be able to work full-time with both of type of jobs (he is military and my position requires on call after hours) without that family support.

I really miss being close to family and our close friends as our daughter grows up.  We don't get to take many actual vacations because most of our work vacation time is used to go home and visit. 

We are now looking for jobs closer to home.  It has professionally both paid off for us as well, but it is starting to strain our personal happiness.

CarrieB.

I don't know if I'd be able to do it. I don't travel a lot for work, but being close to family really helps out. My sister is like a mile away and babysits. My parents are 2 hours away, but it's still close enough that my mom will come for the day and help out occasionally and they will take the kids if we are taking a trip.

ScotchAggie

Hi, there. My husband and I are from Texas, and moved to Ohio for jobs. We are very very fortunate in the fact my mom can essentially fly up at any time. Without that,me may have had some problems. right now, our biggest problem is travel, in two ways. First, we each travel sometimes for work. That's hard enough for with a nearly one year old, but we have no family and live far from friends, so my husband will have to miss some night activities when I'm gone bc he doesn't have family for the kid to go too, and we can't afford a babysitter that often. Also, now we have to travel for Christmas. That's extra annual leave taken and a ton of extra money spent that we wouldn't have to spend if we lived closer to family.

mommymegan831

we live 10-15 minutes from each set of grandparents and they help out often when the kids are sick or the rare time we want to go out.  As far as helping out when the kids are sick, to me it wouldn't really make a difference if they're 2 hours or 2 days away.   I would think 2 hours is still to far to get over to help out in the morning.  I do like that they're involved and able to have a relationship with their grand kids.  I also think it's kind of unfair, especially as they get older and need help.  You have to do what works best for you, but I don't see how the job market would be much better in CA than in NY, it's not like you're coming from an unpopulated area.  Is there anything on the East Coast he could find?  Would you be able to get a job?  If you're going to lose an income it may not be that benefitical to move.

nolabelle10

I actually live far away from my parents (they're in the south and we're in NY/NJ.  It is hard, but I manage to see them 3 - 4 times per year.  When my daughter gets sick, my husband or I tend to stay home, plus we have three babysitters that help out.  It is manageable....but I also don't know what its like to have family nearby.

I would consider Cali in a heartbeat!  One, it is a much more manageable lifestyle than NYC.  Plus, commute times can be a little better, so you aren't spending upwards of three hours per day commuting (I currently have a 90 minute trip each way to work in NYC).  Two, the weather is much more bearable (I'm grumpy with all of this snow).  Three, there are lots of great outdoor activities a stone's throw away.

Regardless, you guys will have to do what is right for you as a family.  The grandparents can always come out and visit.  Plus, you'll make new friends.