Supervising toddlers-do you do it 100% of the time?

KDR1979

My twins will be 3 in April. They will probably be the only kids that I have. Having twins 1st has been hard for us...learning to parent as we go. We still get interrupted sleep ALL the time too. DD had a sleep study last summer and has been doing better on daily iron and now DS is waking up at night (bad dreams maybe....we don't know why yet).

My best friend has 4 kids-her oldest is 4 years older than #2 and then she had 3 kids in 3 years. Her oldest has always been a helper for her though.

My SIL has 2 girls, but another 4 year age difference, so her older daughter was able to help (and was so much more independent) by the time the 2nd baby came.

My cousin has kids that are just over 2 years apart. She has a nice finished basement that is mostly a kid play space. She works out a lot and has a home gym in her garage. We were over there recently for the first time and all the kids were in the basement by themselves. I asked if it was childproofed and they kinda laughed at me. They joked that we had 2 at once, so we were particular about stuff like that and that for them, "the first one survived, so the 2nd one will be fine." My cousin just invited us over for a family workout and she said that the kids will be fine in the basement while the adults work out in the garage.

I don't feel comfortable leaving my two 2.5 year olds in the basement for 30+ minutes w/o an adult. Yes, there will be some older cousins there. But...a 4.5 year old and 6.5 year old. Am I abnormal? Do most people do this?

I feel like my SIL and best friend also think we supervise too much. I think they don't understand what it is like to have 2 kids the same age w/o a sibling that is 4 years older.

Ya Never Know

Personally, I wouldn't leave DD (almost 3) downstairs with other kids if I couldn't hear what was going on. We go to friend's houses and the kids play downstairs by themselves, but we're upstairs where we can still hear what they are up to. At one friend's place, they are smokers that smoke outside, and when they go outside we'll go with them, but we can then see the kids playing in the basement so we know they're fine. For me, I wouldn't be cool with going in to a completely different room if I couldn't hear them.

blush64

I would not leave my toddler alone with a 6 year old if I was out of sight and earshot. My daughter is 20 months and she is my 3rd. I just would not feel comfortable with that and I do not consider myself overprotective. If you are in the garage how do you know what is going on inside, they might not even stay in the basement. It isn't like you are running to get something from the garage and would be back in a minute.

jaecat521

I leave my kids (almost 3 and almost 2) alone to play in their room with the gate up, but I can always hear them and can see them if I am in the living room. They are mostly very well behaved and play together well, but I am not sure I would be comfortable leaving them in the situation you are describing. If you're not comfortable, don't do it! 

MaggieF516

I only leave my son (2.5 yrs old) unsupervised out of necessity, not for any convenience issues.  For example, he can occasionally be awake when I need to shower for work.  I get him set up to watch tv with milk/snack.  I also put the alarm system on so I would immediately know if he tried to leave the apt. My son is very good with just sitting and watching tv and he hasn't been the type of child that puts things in his mouth, tries to climb on counters, touch light sockets, etc.  I also live in an apartment (one floor, no stairs etc), so I'm really not that far from him.  He is fine being like this for 10 minutes while I take a shower, no issues have ever occurred.  He immediately comes to look for me or yells if he needs something.  Knowing his personality, I know he isn't going to be doing things he shouldn't do.

 

I probably wouldn't leave him alone in the situation you describe.  Any sort of accident could happen and it isn't worth the risk.  What if they decide to leave the basement and explore?  I always keep my son by my side in anyone else's home.  You just don't know what they could get into, but I think I'm a little paranoid.

My mom actually left my brother alone while she took a shower once when he was 2, so this was 27 yrs ago.  He  found a quarter on the floor, my mom hadn't locked the door and he walked like 2 blocks to a convenience store to buy candy!  They actually sold him candy and he walked back home!  Thank god he didn't get hit by a car or abducted.  It was a bad judgment call on my mom's part, but it just shows the type of trouble they can get into unsupervised.

 

KDR1979

@MaggieF516 OMG! I can't believe your brother did that!!!!!!! That is so scary!

I'm not going to go this time. I think by the time that they are ~4, I would feel better about this situation!

Thanks everyone for your opinions!!

grownorth

I leave my younger one for a little bit with her 6 year old cousin and 4 year old brother. It depends on the kids, what they generally do and get into, and on older kids. My older son and his older girl cousin are very into rules and she would most definitely tell me if my toddler was doing something she shouldn't!

Tink112011

For me, this depends so heavily on the personalities of the children involved.

My 3 year old is very mature (for a 3 year old) and well-behaved.  If I had previously witnessed him interacting with the 6 year old and deemed that older child to be well behaved and good natured, I would be ok with leaving them in the basement.  I would make sure they knew where to come get me if they needed anything.  I might set up a baby monitor for extra peace of mind.

However, I know 3 year olds that I would never leave unattended and 6 year olds that behave worse than my 3 year old.  My comfort level would be so very, very dependent on which children are in question and less about their ages.

Ultimately, YOU know your children best and have to trust your gut.  If your gut says that they shouldn't be left down there, then they shouldn't be.

lifeisbetteronthered

We barely childproofed our house. DD learnt quickly what she was and wasn't allowed to touch. We do have gates blocking off all stairs, and plugs covered, but that's about it. Both our kids (DD is now 24 months, and DS is 7 months) spend a lot of time with their cousins, the oldest is 5. We will leave DD alone with her cousins while we prepare dinner, tend to DS, or sit and chat with the adults. We check in every 10 minutes or so, and are never far away. I'd leave them longer, but I'd be worried about what they would do to my stuff.

It depends so much on the kids (both your and the others).