let's talk about sex.

C6091

Okay, we have always had an.. appetite shall we say as a couple. & in pregnancy not much has changed. Except now when he wants to flip me or pull me or something it goes a little like this.. wait,wait,wait... 1...2..3.. Sit.. Up slowly.. like a zombie rising from the grave and then it takes me like two minuets to change position or move.. Also my tummy is getting in the way so when he lifts a leg it doesn't quite flex the way it used too.. How can I still be sexy and appealing to him?

what problems have you encountered (I mean with like your bump getting in the way ect.. Not TMI stuff. But if you want to share that too ..then feel..free) and do you have your valentines night sorted?

Addelie

I know what you mean. I'm dealing with the changes by laughing and taking the piss out of myself.

I'm also marvelling at Paris Hilton's 5 o'clock shadow in your gif.

C6091

Addelie said:

I know what you mean. I'm dealing with the changes by laughing and taking the piss out of myself.

I'm also marvelling at Paris Hilton's 5 o'clock shadow in your gif.

The best way to deal with it, laugh it off . And oh my gosh I didn't even notice that haha!

briafields94

I'm having the exact Same problem as you OP. I feel like a whale trying to change positions and my SO just stands there and waits and stares making it worse lol!!!

It's funny now , not so much when it's happening.

ciennah99

I don't even want to have sex! Wish I did but I don't feel sexy at all. Prob doesn't help I'm still dealing with morning sickness & fatigue. But I have chronic pain: back, hips...so we have had to be creative before just to accommodate that & my fatigue. Just try to be creative with it! At least you're still having it!

C6091

briafields94 said:

I'm having the exact Same problem as you OP. I feel like a whale trying to change positions and my SO just stands there and waits and stares making it worse lol!!!

It's funny now , not so much when it's happening.

Yeah your like ''hang on.. Give me a sec'' while you can feel the mood slowly dying.. I'm not as active as I used to be haha!

mamameghan

What works best for us is various positions with me being on top. Also, I often don't feel sexy so I'll put on lingerie or a sexy bra to utilize what I do have.

elizab14

My back has been bugging me so on my side or from the back works for me. Plus, I think I look the same from the back. Haha!!

Whootie

My first pregnancy keeping up in the bedroom was no problem other than the last 8 weeks. I think maybe we have had sex like 4 times this time around. Aside from having no desire it's been rather uncomfortable and surprisingly I am feeling less sexy than 1st time. We try to compensate in other ways, maybe just a candlelight bath and some kissing. And honestly things like cuddling with lots of skin to skin contact can often trigger a similar mental closeness that you get with sex. We have also been together for 8 years so learning to cope with dry spells is essential for a healthy relationship.

megtyrrell

We can't even have sex... Low-lying placenta. Hopefully on Thursday we'll get the green light.

But I totally get how difficult it is for you to change positions. I have a lot of trouble just getting up off the couch. I'd say just try to enjoy the time you spend together and laugh through any awkwardness.

Mama-Bear

Maybe you could lay on the edge of the bed while your DH stands, or if you're comfortable with doggie style or him laying behind you.  IMO these will be your best bet for now.  You're both going to have to accept that he can't flip you around like he could before and it's only going to get harder.  

frankengibbs

Ugh...my sex drive has been so low since getting pregnant and it seems like DH's has skyrocketed. I practically snort when I read about hormones making you horny in the week-by-week symptoms change. And on the rare occasion that I do feel like pushing the twin beds together (little joke) the bump-side view isn't exactly the most sexy thing ever for me...hoping this isn't something that will last the whole pregnancy.
As far as your problem, as PPs said, top positions seem to work the best around the bump for me and as far as moving around, I just let DH know when I feel uncomfortable or awkward in a position. Communication is key. Good luck!

devyns2nd

Legs cramps, RLP, gas

devyns2nd

I've tried a few times to edit my post and I can't??? Anyway, those three things and a few others keep me from getting to crazy in bed.

mccall35

With DS, from like 22 weeks and on, it was basically just doggy style and/or DH lying behind because my bump was out of control and this was the easiest logistically. Don't get me wrong though, sex was amazing! This time around, sex has been a little less frequent and we haven't done much since my bump has been big enough to get in the way, although I think it will be back to the "back" next time sexy time happens for us. I'm alright with this because this is when I feel the sexiest anyway (pregnant and doing it doggy style)!

C6091

thepalindromicone said:

We just haven't made it a priority lately. I largely blame TTC burn out. Today we had a shower party though. That was fun and sexy if you're looking to switch it up!

Thanks for starting this thread. I've been feeling a totally lack of community on this board and sometimes the personal questions and a couple GTKYs start to do the trick.

No problem . I felt we needed a community gathering. Shower party, I may try that.

C6091

mccall35 said:

With DS, from like 22 weeks and on, it was basically just doggy style and/or DH lying behind because my bump was out of control and this was the easiest logistically. Don't get me wrong though, sex was amazing! This time around, sex has been a little less frequent and we haven't done much since my bump has been big enough to get in the way, although I think it will be back to the "back" next time sexy time happens for us. I'm alright with this because this is when I feel the sexiest anyway (pregnant and doing it doggy style)!

Doggy style is good. It's me on top I'm struggling with.

SEX IS AWESOME. Isn't it like the best! You feel great and we get little bundles of joys as a result. I'm trying to convince SO to take me to 50 shades of grey movie for V day. I read the books. Not because I'm super interested, I want to spice up our life.. Maybe a hot cinema date on V day is what we need .

I almost purchased some sexy handcuffs for part of his V day. We've never used anything like that. Should I? I'm a coward haha! Are they a fun tool to use?

taboullio84

Not to get into detail.. But a wall was involved... And when my back got pushed up... My stomach got pushed.. It was a sharp pain.. And I was like. No... Back to the basics, honey!!

MrsCaliRN

It was definitely hard to get in the mood during first trimester (low sex drive on my part) but things have completely made a 180 since about 15 weeks or so. Also, it kind of creeped me out at first, but DH rubs/caresses my belly during sex now. At first I was thinking, Oh geez, is he developing a fetish?, but then I realized that's just his way of acknowledging and appreciating my changing body and it makes me feel closer to him. I have noticed that good ol' missionary isn't too doable for us anymore because of his weight on my belly or not being able to move my legs up towards my head like I used to. Doggie, me-on-top, side-lying (any variations thereof) have worked great for us!

V-day plans include dinner at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse and 50 Shades of Grey. I actually haven't read the book, so this will be extra exciting for me!

Emilywooddesign

My husband is super weirded out by sex since I've been pregnant, I guess he is just one of those men who can't see past babies being inside me. We just fool around instead! We have had sex a few times but he just starts laughing sayjng he doesn't want to poke the babies

Lynn&Andrew+1

This is a problem I would love to have! It has been over 2 months for us and the last time was my birthday(December 4th). Haven't even had sex this year!

ETA My husband is also super weirded out by my being pregnant. He has told me that he is afraid our son will see his penis or that he could possibly hit our baby.

mandybacken

Lynn&Andrew+1 said:

This is a problem I would love to have! It has been over 2 months for us and the last time was my birthday(December 4th). Haven't even had sex this year!

ETA My husband is also super weirded out by my being pregnant. He has told me that he is afraid our son will see his penis or that he could possibly hit our baby.

He probably doesn't want to give the baby a headache either.

kaycorey89

Glad I'm not the only one not getting any. I can't even tell you the last time my bf and I had sex. Ha. It was all great until I started to get the bump. I think he's so weirded out by it all that he just can't get past it maybe? I dunno. Sucks big time. He's taking me out for supper for Valentine's day. That's about it. Maybe we will finally again? Lord knows haha

fer03

Just doesn't feel right anymore, the bf says he feels like he hurts me & the baby lol. But in general it's a bit painful Idk feels like I'm just really sensitive down there. Im i the only one that feels that ?! But what does work best for us is laying sideways or doggy & him on top. Since its nearly impossible for me to do anything

KaLikeAWind

Yeah I'm barely getting any too. Not for lack of desire on my part, I'm achy but would appreciate a good romp. DH hasn't really qualified what going thru his mind over there (he says I look beautiful and great), but its been a while since since our last playdate and had been a while since the time before that. For valentines day he will be gone that entire weekend, but off Monday and Tuesday after so maybe I'll seduce him.

eeyoreem

Yea, so the last time dh tried to wake me up in the morning the pregnancy gas got to me and I farted on him. Not at all sexy.

Harperdawn

We still do it pretty often. Two times a week usually but it is uncomfortable no matter what way we do. It just kind of hurts. Not severe pain but just to where im not gettinf much pleasure from it. Sigh only 16 w left lol

jaknutzen

I'm like shut off all the lights pull the curtains so it's complete darkness and choose 1 position cause that's all ur getting if I have to change positions I'm just done, too much work

KonaCoffeeBean

Sex life is been quite good lately. Only complaint is that it's pretty hard to be on my back for any length of time.

Katerina&Baby

C6091 said:

mccall35 said:

With DS, from like 22 weeks and on, it was basically just doggy style and/or DH lying behind because my bump was out of control and this was the easiest logistically. Don't get me wrong though, sex was amazing! This time around, sex has been a little less frequent and we haven't done much since my bump has been big enough to get in the way, although I think it will be back to the "back" next time sexy time happens for us. I'm alright with this because this is when I feel the sexiest anyway (pregnant and doing it doggy style)!

Doggy style is good. It's me on top I'm struggling with.

SEX IS AWESOME. Isn't it like the best! You feel great and we get little bundles of joys as a result. I'm trying to convince SO to take me to 50 shades of grey movie for V day. I read the books. Not because I'm super interested, I want to spice up our life.. Maybe a hot cinema date on V day is what we need .

I almost purchased some sexy handcuffs for part of his V day. We've never used anything like that. Should I? I'm a coward haha! Are they a fun tool to use?

Totally agree - I sort of loathe being on top because I can't concentrate on anything other than "hey, here is my massive belly" but reverse cowgirl helps fix that problem since I'm facing his feet.

Totally see 50 Shades with him! My husband NEVER goes to the movies with me because he can't sit still for 2 hours straight (seriously, it's pathetic) but I really wish he would take me. I would totally bring out the fun stuff - why not?

SabrinaM02

megtyrrell said:

We can't even have sex... Low-lying placenta. Hopefully on Thursday we'll get the green light.

But I totally get how difficult it is for you to change positions. I have a lot of trouble just getting up off the couch. I'd say just try to enjoy the time you spend together and laugh through any awkwardness.

This is me too! Only I was just diagnosed with the low- lying placenta on Tuesday/Wednesday. No sex til at least March 5 after my next ultrasound.

Esmerelda2012

My darling of a husband is not comfortable having sex. It is devastating to me because I have always had more of a sexual appetite than him (which I think is strange enough already). He has been talking to his friends about it and they are not helpful (in my opinion). Despite reassurance from the doctor and numerous baby books, I am struggling to change his mind and persuade him to partake in some loving festivities...advice???

OnWayto3

50 Shades of Grey is likely the biggest disappointment of my year. Terribly cheesy and not at all...um... Inspiring. There are much better movies to get you in the mood, and it doesn't have to be porn if you aren't into that sort of flick. Doggie style works best for me... Since my boobs have grown tremendously, they help me feeling sexy in any position, but for physical comfort and pleasure, I prefer it from the back side.

C6091

catalinasmama said:

devyns2nd said:

Legs cramps, RLP, gas

You said the magic word:  GAS.  I have the worst gas of my life right now.  I could eat a piece of toast and I'll have gas and heartburn all day.    I've literally farted a little WHILE in the act.  So if you all think you have position problems....imagine mine.  Haha.  Luckily, my guy has a great sense of humor and is the most understanding man I know.    

Another problem I've had is.....the O.  I can't get it.  This used to NEVER be a problem....but now...I just can't get there.  I think too much about the baby that is between us; I worry about the baby being harmed; it's sometimes uncomfortable, etc.  Whatever the issue, it's always something, and it's always preventing me from, uh...arriving at my destination...ahem.  I still have fun, tho!  I just take it all in stride.  I know it's only a short time, and that this is all natural, and we'll be back to normal soon enough.  

I've never had this problem because I've never had an O.. So you are lucky

marinamarina

I don't wanna get poked up there by anything. So.. There's that.

elizab14

Haha. Some of these posts are cracking me up. We had sex the other night on our side. And out of nowhere I just burped. I'm not feeling too sexy and had to focus really hard being on top and not thinking of my belly. I told DH. He says all he is focused on is how good it feels and how big my boobs are. Haha! Such a guy. We're pretty much having sex on a needed basis. Like I need it to feel human haha. Definitely not as often.

whitney3339

Doggy on the bed, standing up bent a bit, laying on your side, laying slanted on your back with him holding your legs up. Those mainly hide your belly besides the last one so he might not feel as uncomfortable if it's the belly thing he's kind of worried about. I am like how you said more of a high sex drive than my bf but glad he still wants to have sex . Hope you get some.

rsalata

My man squishes my belly when we get down. I've tried being on top but I can't even move right. Plus I'm kissin him and our bellies battle for room. Ugh it just don't work right. And I want it all the time while he never does. That part really sucks

alangenwalter

SabrinaM02 said:

megtyrrell said:

We can't even have sex... Low-lying placenta. Hopefully on Thursday we'll get the green light.

But I totally get how difficult it is for you to change positions. I have a lot of trouble just getting up off the couch. I'd say just try to enjoy the time you spend together and laugh through any awkwardness.

This is me too! Only I was just diagnosed with the low- lying placenta on Tuesday/Wednesday. No sex til at least March 5 after my next ultrasound.

Same thing for me! I wish I had the issue of not feeling sexy when we're having sex- I'm stuck with NOTHING. I will say though, my husband (and I'm sure yours too) still finds me sexy, even with the added 25 pounds, gas, and stretch marks. Prior to being told "no more sex" we perfected the "off the bed" position, where I would lay on the bed and he stands on the edge of the bed. I'm able to lay back and be comfortable and not feel like "oh god my belly is rubbing up against you- my giant boobs just slapped you in the face- is it unsexy that the baby just kicked you and we both know it happened but don't want to say anything?". Sex during pregnancy is rough- but don't feel weird about your body. Your husband understands (and if not, educate him) that your body is not going to move the same way it did before you were pregnant. Someday, but not tody. In the meantime, enjoy it for all of us low lying placenta ladies who are all hormonal like teenagers and can't jump out husbands