So many party questions!

FrozenMommy

Hello everyone, long time lurker and first time poster here. I have two girls 3 and 4, both born in September. I have been doing joint parties for them since I figure nobody wants to come to  party then 2 weeks later another one. So this year for their 4 and 5, we are doing a very large block type Frozen party. We will have a bouncy house and snow cones, also thinking of hiring an Elsa and Anna to come. I am keeping it simple this year and giving the girls a tiara and wand set, and a bottlecap necklace. But the boys, do I do a crown and sword or something? Also wondering do the boys care about getting a necklace. I mean, who am I to judge if your boy would wear one or not, so last year to be equal to all, I gave the boys a necklace. We did a Sheriff Callie theme so they got Peck or Toby, a cowboy hat, badge, bandana, some hershey gold nuggets, fools gold which was rock candy painted in luster dust, and a reusable milk bottle with their names on it. Now, I know some don't like a goody bag, and a friend of mine admitted that she didn't ever even look inside and her boys probably destroyed it soon after they got it, but I feel like it's a thank you to my guests, especially when we have a 2 kid party. 

So last year I invited my immediate family, and our friends and their kids. This year my daughter will be starting trans-k in August, a month before the party. If she makes fast friends that she wants to invite, how do we go about it? I am new at this, do I invite their whole family since I will have my friends there? Or just call the mom and introduce myself and tell her about it and have them drop off? 

Now onto gifts,  last year it took a very long time to open them all. For the girls 1st and 2nd birthdays, we basically asked if anyone had objections to us not opening them here, a few of the older guests that traveled wanted theirs opened, and I sent thank yous to everyone. It would have taken 2 hours if we did it there. So is it OK to just not open gifts at a party? The culture of my area seems to not like that idea. I usually put down a 4 hour window for the party, I feel like if I put 6 hours people would shy away from going, that's a long time! But 4 hours is just perfect for kids playing, eating, and then playing more. I know I cannot please everyone, but I don't like upsetting anyone either. I literally had never been to a child's party before having them, so I need all the advice I can get. Thanks for taking the time to read!.

VOR

A few thoughts, especially as your kids are about to enter school age.

I would suggest making the parties for friends only. And when I says friends, I mean your KIDS friends.  not your friends. And then have a small family party another time - especially if it's your older family members who want to see their gifts opened. 

This is an evolution, so to speak.  For DSs 1st and 2nd b-days, we invited family and OUR friends and their kids.  once he started in preschool and we moved to our neighborhood (lots of kids), we've started to move towards focusing on inviting HIS friends.  And not that our friend's kids aren't his friends too - but if they aren't local/don't go to his school - it's simply time to stop inviting ALL THESE PEOPLE to his parties.

I've seen this happen w/ all our friends (old and new).  As the kids get older and start making their own friends, what the parties are/ who comes has changed. 

And from what I've seen - age 5 parties seems to start being drop off, and age 6, much more so.  And gifts usually aren't opened, but the parties are also scheduled for only about 2 hours (this is usually MORE than enough time) and the kids are so busy playing and doing whatever the main event is, the gifts just don't matter.   

In coming years, too, you may need to be prepared to have smaller, individual parties.  your girls may want that!  They may get tired of sharing.