Back to work Tuesday

Vicki1985

I am starting to go a little crazy. I go back to work Tuesday for the first time since Noah was born in December and I'm dreading it. I work as a floating bank teller so I work in 22 different offices. The office I'm going to next week is giving me anxiety. It just happened to work out that I was in that office the day I found out I was pregnant back in August, it's the office I was in the Tuesday we had our last u/s where he was fine and I was scheduled to be there the day I was admitted to the hospital and the day the funeral home came to pick him up (they actually called to ask why I wasn't at work that day because no one let them know I was in the hospital.). Now my first day back I have to be in that particular office again and I'm freaking out over it. I just want to quit honestly but I need to find another job with insurance first since I'm the one who has it through my job and my husband's doesn't. I have no idea how I'm going to get through the next week. I feel like this office has a black cloud over it.

ikrystal

**ticker**

I don't have any advice on how to get through this, but I wanted to say I'm thinking about you.  I know it must be hard to be in certain places that remind you of what you have lost.  **hugs**

Morena Mama

I am so sorry you have to go through this. I had such anxiety when I was preparing to go back. I thought about quitting myself. I eventually dove in to a school (I'm a substiute) that was very understanding and supportive and started from there. Is there any way you can avoid being assigned to that office?

I know I'm late on responding, so I hope and pray you made it through your first day ok. Big hugs, mama. You can do it!

Vicki1985

@Morena Mama I go back this coming Tuesday so you are not late! I wish I could avoid the office but they are too short handed to accommodate a switch so I'm stuck. The women in this particular office are also very nosey and are going to bombard me with questions so I'm going to need a way to redirect conversation so I don't just burst into tears the whole day. (Although I'm not ruling the crying all day thing out as a possibility...)

msunshine123

I'll be thinking of you. Good luck on Tuesday. ((hugs))

klk518

So sorry for your loss. My husband and I lost our son, Hunter James, December 31st (due May 18th) and I went back to work mid January. I know it's hard but going back to work helped me from staying home alone all day and crying. I hope that your first day goes better than you think it will. Take the time you need and remember it's okay to cry when you need to, no matter where you are! Again I'm so sorry for your loss

jenn.schott

@vicki1985 - Thinking about you today. Going back to work is so hard. ((Hugs))

Morena Mama

@Vicki1985 I hope and pray you got through Tuesday ok. Big hugs and lots of T's and P's!

Vicki1985

Thank you everyone for the T&Ps before I could return Tuesday I had to go for my 6 week postpartum exam and get my OB to sign off on my work release for insurance. My postpartum depression screening result was very high and he did not clear me to return and has referred me to psychiatrist before I will be cleared. They have pushed my return date to February 19th at the earliest now. 

msunshine123

@Vicki1985 - I'm glad your doctor referred you and held off on your return to work. Depression after a loss is not uncommon and it's important to get all of the help you need. ((hugs))