Older May Moms!

lola2bee

I noticed on the intros that there are a few of us post 35. Just thought I'd ask about how everyone is feeling having a young child so late in life. Since everything makes me cry right now I'm thinking a lot about how much of my little ones life I will miss. I feel morbid and silly but I know there's some truth to this. Just trying to get a better perspective....

Fyi i know there is a 35+ board ... Posted anyway ;-)

leelee72

You can't look at it like that. I am 42 and I plan on being a healthy active parent and plan on being around quite a long time. I know during pregnancy at times we can't control how we feel and what we think of. But you can't bring yourself down. You need to think about all the positives happening in your life. You are bringing a child into this world. That's a great place to start.

hchellebelle

I already have a DD that is 2.5 with twins on the way... Besides the fear of sheer exhaustion that is undoubtedly headed my way, I have given much thought to being 37. A lot of moms are having kids at our age, I don't think it is a big deal.

supersarah77

I don't feel like an old mom IRL because almost all my friends had babies after 35, too. I was worried about being able to conceive but had no problems with either kid, thank goodness. I'm glad we waited because there's nothing I feel like I missed out on - education, career, traveling, general debauchery... I had my fill of it all. Plus we're financially secure. It was definitely right for us!

However I may feel differently when I'm "old" when my kids go off to college.....

lola2bee

I'm thinking more of being in my 70s and still having pretty young kids. Maybe not getting to see them have families. I have young parents and will hopefully have them still around in my 50s and 60s. Definitely won't be the case for mine. Sigh... Too many feelings!!!

Ndracer

I understand what you are saying. But life is an unknown. I know a young mother who was 24 and had a 6 month old baby. No known health problems and she just died last week. Complete shock to everyone. I'm sure she assumed she'd see her daughter grow up. But there are never any guarantees.

CateOfChicago

43 next month and I have a 15 month old. I think about it quite a bit. I don't obsess but it is definitely on my mind. I'm trying to eat healthier and do what I can to prolong life. We also put more $ away for them since we don't know how long we'll be around (who does really). We would have been very happy with just 1 but it's important to me for my lo to have siblings. We are both the youngest in our families. All my kids aunts & uncles and even cousins are much older. I want to make sure they have some family around when I'm gone. That is the main thing I worry about.

hbombano

Im having my 6th in may il be 38. I havent really thought about the 10 year differance from having my 1st at 28.. So when they are 40 (God willing) il be 68 and 78. I just have to take care of myself to the best i can..Making every day count. Dont get down about numbers enjoy ever minute. What a loving mum (mom) you are thinking about there future. Bless you heaps

leahzero

I think about that a little bit. I'm 38 and waited a long time to "settle down". Just got married last summer. I had my fill of moving all over the world, goofing off, and took my time really growing up. I am really tired and I am starting to get scared about just how hard it will be since I'm older. But it will work out no matter what. This pregnancy has been pretty breezy so far - no nausea or sickness, just some annoying ongoing congestion - so I'm trying to just enjoy and savor everything I can knowing it is likely this will be my only experience doing this. I can't imagine doing this much before now because I never felt even close to ready. It is good to hear from other older moms out there.

shan820

36yo ftm here. Nothing I can do about the fact of being old and missing certain things so I try to to think about it. My MIL on the other hand keeps commenting on how she hopes she will be around for graduation and such. It's starting to bother me a little. The one thing I think about most is, can I do this again in a couple years for a sibling? Just not sure my old aching body can take it!

justkeeptrying

I'm a young FTM, but the daughter-in-law to a mom who was 42 y/o when my DH was born. His dad was 48.

Just throwing this out there for you ladies - my DH LOVED that his parents were older. And it wasn't as common then as it is now. By the time he was in middle school, his parents were semi-retired and able to spend a lot more time with him than some of his friends parents. They didn't miss any of his school/extracurricular events because they didn't have the same commitments that some working parents had.

His mom has told me how happy she is that she'll get to see her first grandchild. I never realized that this was a fear of hers being an older FTM. She is now 66 and his dad is 72.

Just throwing it out there for you ladies. I can't speak from my own experience (obviously) but there are definitely some perks to being an "older" new mom! Either way, you're gonna love that bundle of joy and they're gonna love you!

twodreamers

My Mom was 40 when she had me (I was the baby of 6 and a SURPRISE!) I always wanted to be a young Mom but man plans, God laughs. I'll be giving birth to my little girl when I'm 40. I'm just so grateful to even BE pregnant and healthy.

I lost both my parents by the time I was 33. My brothers and sisters had many more years with them but I wouldn't trade those 33 precious years for anything. They may have missed out on milestones like this one, but I know they're never far from me.

One of my favorite quotes after losing my Mom in 2009: "The separation of earth and heaven does not sever the bond between parent and child. The bond is just too strong and never fades."

Enjoy every minute, moment and make those memories, Mommas!

PutMeintheZoo

I'll be 36 when DD is born in May. I'm actually glad I waited until later to have kids, just so I personally felt like I had job security and enough wisdom to raise a little one. So far, it hasn't crossed my mind that I won't have as much time with my kids compared to if I had them in my 20s.

All in all, age is a state of mind and I just love how my 3-year-old son has keeps me young at heart. It has been so much fun doing all the kid stuff over again - like playing in the snow, blanket forts in the living room, finger painting.  I don't even feel like a thirty-something or "older mom" :-)

I will admit that having a baby 35+ is an interesting ordeal. My OB seems to be extra cautious, so the higher probability of Downs Syndrome, all the extra genetic testing, blood tests, and ultrasounds have been nerve wrecking at times. 

 

marijaa333

I'm 36 and think this is the perfect age to have kids for me (35-40). 

rosannewild

I will be 46 (or nearly) when Baby is born. I spent years hoping for this experience. I wish we had success earlier, but I'm welcoming it now. I'm athletic, active and very youthful and don't look (or act) as one would think a 45 yo would act. I think I'd be more concerned if I had chronic health issues. Tragedies do happen, but I'm going to have faith for a long healthy life and enjoy every moment of this

lola2bee

@marijaa333 - so funny you mentioned that... my family is from europe but I was born here and being 40 is VERY old for us.  Culturally things are different!

sassymama15

I am 37 and have a 14 year old. It's crazy because when her friends see me they are surprised I am her mom and have even asked if I am her sister. Many many moms and dads at her school and her friends parents are older like in their late 40's and 50's. So I feel young in that way but old as a pregnant mom. I am way more exhausted right now than I was with any other pregnancy though.

marijaa333

@lola2bee  40 is definitely not considered young but i feel like on average, europeans have kids older and also just generally don't think of a 35 year-old pregnant woman as out of the ordinary. but you're right, it's a continent of many cultures and sub-cultures that differ.

cookiesmac

I'm 39 and FTM to twins - My mom had me at 39, so it's really not a huge deal. I echo others re: having lived a full life in my 20s and 30s, travelled all over, enjoyed plenty of debauchery, and set-up a career that offers security. We don't know the future, but I hope it entails long lives for us all.

NanSee3

I'm 37. My oldest is 5yrs. I'm more ready at this age than I was was in my 20s. My 20s allowed me to travel some, complete college, and lay a framework of experience in a career. I just wasn't interested in a serious relationship. That said, I did have concerns marrying my man who is 11 years older than me. We are unexpectedly expecting our third daughter (this time I'm ready to ensure we don't have anyone). We thought we'd be blessed to have one child as I have PCOS and a pituitary macroadenoma yet still conceived naturally (and without trying). I think it's circumstancial. Some people are have careers and mates in their 20s and are ready for family...some aren't. What's most important is that your baby feels loved and secure now and growing up so that when he/she does lose a parent or both that your child has is able to maneuver through life making healthy relationships.

blastie

I think this is one of those times when comparison is the theif of joy.
There are upsides to being younger, and plenty to being older. (Incidentally, my midwife just shared a story about a friend who had her first at 52!)

My parents were married at 18, had us at 20, 22, & 26. My dad will be 52 in 3 weeks. For them, they wanted to have kids young while they had energy. Lol
My husbands' parents had two daughters & then 13 years later at 39 & 43 got a big surprise when my husband came along. His dad will be 75 this summer, my grandma (who was a young mother of 5) will turn 79.
My sister in law is 4 years younger than my mom.
We got together at 19 & 20, got married at 25 & 26, and had our first baby at 28 & 29. We'll be 31/32 for our second.
I honestly think this sort of thing is another variation of normal. I love the spread of ages in our family. (Nieces & nephews range from 2 to 21!)

destinymiel

Im 37 and i dont think im old..its my 3rd, my first born was already 12 and my 2nd is 10..this LO is such a gift that im so excited to receive! I feel much happier and responsible this time