TTC after 35
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What do you do when you just feel so down?

This cycle I've just been so negative about this whole process and losing hope. Then I had the monitor, OPK, and temps all give me nothing tow work with. So I gave up, didn't want to have sex, just down in the dumps. And then I get CH that are a little bullshit if you ask me. A rise of .2? I think you're grasping at straws FF. But as soon as those CH are there, the whole chart looks different. It's weird how your brain shifts like that.
 So now I feel dumb that I gave up. So then I beat myself up about that. It's like this crazy cycle. When I look back and my charts I think we only really hit the O day and day after a few months. So, realistically, there's still hope for us. But I just don't feel it. And even within not feeling it, I'll some weird thing, like a slightly bloody nose, and now all of a sudden, I'm googling it as a symptom. Ah, I really can't stand this process. And then, I think, you know what, if and when we ever have a child, this will be actually way easier than that, this is temporary, and then I feel like even more of a complainer and idiot.

What do you guys do when you just want to give up?


TTC #1
me- 37, DH- 38
Married 6.28.14, started TTC right away
BFP Nov 2015, PPROM Feb 2016
ER #1 May 2017, 15 retrieved, 10 fertilized, 3 day 5.
ER#2 July 2017, 22 retrieved, 13 fertilized, 6 day 5/6
9 embryos tested for pgs and pgd.  
FET #1 9.29.17- 1 embryo-BFN
FET#2 12.19.17- I embryo-BFP 1/1/18! Happy New Year to me! EDD 9/6/18
Baby boy born 9.11.18- the love of my life!

Re: What do you do when you just feel so down?

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    I don't think I really have any advice.  I've been pretty in the dumps about ttc for a couple cycles now so I understand how you feel.  I'll give you creepy internet hugs though.  :)

    I really am hoping that your chart will start to make sense to you and you get your bfp soon!
    <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5677e2">My Ovulation Chart</a>
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    I completely understand how you're feeling, @Dwmmwd. I actually just started a thread about it on the "other" board. (I'm straddling two boards at the moment) Even though we just had our first RE appointment and haven't gotten results yet for bloodwork and SA, I've been feeling quite hopeless lately. I despise this process, it's excruciating, and not a situation I ever thought I'd find myself in. I spent so many years trying NOT to get pregnant, I figured when I was ready, it would just happen.

    Just like you, though I'm feeling hopeless, I'm still wondering if my sore boobs are an indication that I might be pregnant (I'm technically in the 2WW) - even though I know it's practically impossible this month considering I had the flu, I gave up on the OPK, and our timing was completely off.

    I'm trying not to get down on myself and just feel the way I feel... some days are better than others. And I'm trying to remember all the things that I love to do, and have always loved to do even before we were TTC. Today I finally saddled up my horse and took him out for a romp in the snow... I was smiling ear to ear, just me and him... it's like I remembered who I used to be before all this TTC crap took over my life.

    Hang in there! ((hugs))
    Me: 37  DH:39
    TTC #1 Since May 2014
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    I have two older children so I know it's not quite the same for me but I'm in the same frame of mind as you. The last few months I have been very blah and not very hopeful. But i just have to keep reminding myself why I'm doing this. The want of a baby has to outweigh the feeling that it's never going to happen. I just keep telling myself eventually it has to work. Right????

      Me:39, DH:40

    DD born 8/96, DS born 8/04

    TTC#3

    NTNP since 2006, active trying 1/13

    Natural M/C 3/13 at 7 weeks

    CP 2/14

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

             imageimage

    All welcome

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    answer for being down in the dumps = nice bottle of wine! 

    Hugs! 
    SIGGY WARNING
    Me 38   DH 34
    married 05-21-11 
    started TTC right away






    BFP- 10-16-14 EDD 6/13/15: MC 12-1-14 
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    I also have one child already so I know it's not the same exactly, but when we talk about the what ifs (my husband and I) and when we contemplate what we will do if we aren't able to conceive a second child, I just try and remind myself that if having a sibling for our daughter was really important but we couldn't do it ourselves I would push for adoption. I know it's not for everyone but I think it would be a good alternative for us... And that cheers me up and gives me hope that there is always another option. Anyway... That's just me, like I said I know it's not for everyone.
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    thanks ladies. I appreciate the support. I went to acupuncture yesterday and am having a much better day today. Got up, did my yoga, and just generally felt a bit better.
     I'm also considering the adoption route, but the expense is kind of what scares me. I know I could probably get a loan from my parents, but it's not something I want to do, especially after they just paid for our wedding and gave us a nice gift.   But we certainly don't have that kind of savings. I also feel like when I look back at my charts, realistically, the number of months we really hit the ovulation day and the day after, it's not that many. So, maybe there's still hope. Anyway, did my blood work this morning, DH needs to do his sample, and then hopefully we'll have some answers.  Or maybe not, right?
    Anyway, hope others who are feeling down are also feeling a little better today. Each day I try to remind myself that even though I don't have a baby, I do have lots of good things in my life and I should be thankful for all of those. 
    TTC #1
    me- 37, DH- 38
    Married 6.28.14, started TTC right away
    BFP Nov 2015, PPROM Feb 2016
    ER #1 May 2017, 15 retrieved, 10 fertilized, 3 day 5.
    ER#2 July 2017, 22 retrieved, 13 fertilized, 6 day 5/6
    9 embryos tested for pgs and pgd.  
    FET #1 9.29.17- 1 embryo-BFN
    FET#2 12.19.17- I embryo-BFP 1/1/18! Happy New Year to me! EDD 9/6/18
    Baby boy born 9.11.18- the love of my life!

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    I'm glad you're having a better day. Hopefully your tests will give you some info on how to plan.
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