Ready to try again, but nervous.

megcamire07

After having two losses just 5 months apart, my hubby and I have had a long talk and we are ready to try again. Thing is, I'm terrified. What if the same thing happens? How will I cope with 3? I'm trying to stay positive and thinking only good things, but it's so hard to just push the thought away.

Sheri Turcotte

I feel your pain megcamire07.  My husband and I lost our baby at 4 months and we're trying again.  I have the same feelings of terror that it could happen again.  I wish you and your husband luck, and to have strength.  It will happen for you, just like I know it will happen for us too. 

brokenvag

Sheri Turcotte said:

I feel your pain megcamire07.  My husband and I lost our baby at 4 months and we're trying again.  I have the same feelings of terror that it could happen again.  I wish you and your husband luck, and to have strength.  It will happen for you, just like I know it will happen for us too. 

@Sheri_Turcotte -- Those kinds of platitudes can be highly offensive. That's great that you believe "it will happen" for you, but unless you're some sort of psychic, you shouldn't go around telling people you know "it will happen" for them. The sad reality is that it will not happen for some of us, so please don't spew platitudes like that.

scoutmaxwell

@nikolie93 If you have moved on to this better place, then why come back here and harass people who are just trying to help?  Bye, Felicia.  

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brokenvag

scoutmaxwell said:

@nikolie93 If you have moved on to this better place, then why come back here and harass people who are just trying to help?  Bye, Felicia.  

@scoutmaxwell - I also find it highly offensive that you're trying to suggest that educating people is the same as harassment. We've all experienced loss(es) here. But just because someone has experienced a loss does not mean that person has ever been educated on what is - and is not - appropriate to say to another loss mom.

katiebeth93

@scoutmaxwellsaid:

@nikolie93 If you have moved on to this better place, then why come back here and harass people who are just trying to help?  Bye, Felicia.  

@nikolie93 had a really hard time making the decision to switch over to the other place, because she was very concerned about abandoning women going through a loss who might come here needing support and sound advice and being unable to find it. She's here because she actually cares a lot about people going through a loss, enough to want to protect them from bad advice, which can actually harm you, and empty platitudes, which, if you end up TTC long enough, just become hurtful reminders of what may not ever happen for you. Considering nikolie93 just recently became CFNBC after multiple losses, she knows a lot about how much platitudes can hurt. 

I have yet to see her harass anyone or do anything BUT try to be helpful. You on the other hand haven't done much other than either give or defend bad advice and have been incredibly rude to anyone who contradicts you.

psychmajormom

Here it is folks.... Baby gaga at it's finest.... Bye Felicia?? I mean really?! Grow up.. (Probably the best advice you're going to get from the new and improved "Dump")

4N6s

You can do it
Good luck!

Nikolie93

scoutmaxwell said:

@nikolie93 If you have moved on to this better place, then why come back here and harass people who are just trying to help?  Bye, Felicia.  

I am coming back here to help women steer clear of the horrible advice they are being given by people who really have no clue. 

And you think me telling someone that it's not appropriate to tell a grieving woman that just had a MC that "it will happen for them" is harassment? 

One can not possibly know that it will happen and since I have now had 3 losses and just found out I will be childless forever, I find it offensive when I hear people give this type of false hope.

scoutmaxwell

Then let's let the OP decide for herself it the response offended her.  Phrases like "Unless you are some kind of psychic" is not kind or helpful. Making Star Wars Dark Side artwork for your signatures, and I am immature? This board will be fine, everyone will figure it out. No one needs to be "saved" from bad internet advice on a support forum. 

jenaabug

I lost my baby at 22 weeks, and it was the hardest thing I have ever been through. However, I know I want a child still, and I am determined to bring a healthy baby to earth. I honestly believe I will always be worried about the baby's health the next time I am pregnant, but all you can do is just try your best. Surround yourself with supportive people, and believe that you deserve the happiness of having a healthy baby. You will get there, just don't give up! 

O2girl

scoutmaxwell said:

Then let's let the OP decide for herself it the response offended her.  Phrases like "Unless you are some kind of psychic" is not kind or helpful. Making Star Wars Dark Side artwork for your signatures, and I am immature? This board will be fine, everyone will figure it out. No one needs to be "saved" from bad internet advice on a support forum. 

Ummmmmm maybe they don't hurt you or the OP... But they hurt OTHERS reading the damn thread! empty words and false hopes presented as encouragement is far worse than someone using snark and sarcasm..... It's kinda like when someone asks you "how are you?" But they could actually care less how you are doing? Why bother fucking asking the question or speaking if the words are shallow and pointless? We all get fucking bs fluff daily.... This place used to be a safe place from that shit... Now look it's like the rise of the platitudeasauras.....

kreardon11

scoutmaxwell said:

Then let's let the OP decide for herself it the response offended her.  Phrases like "Unless you are some kind of psychic" is not kind or helpful. Making Star Wars Dark Side artwork for your signatures, and I am immature? This board will be fine, everyone will figure it out. No one needs to be "saved" from bad internet advice on a support forum. 

Vomit. Grow up. Why are you bitching about her artwork?

Clearly all we need saving from is people like you.

ellewinkle

So i came to this post because I actually was looking to post the exact thing. I was hoping to find some support here. And while I do find platitudes to be a punch to the gut instead of any type of consolation, I think a whole thread of nothing but arguing is even worse. I'm pretty stressed out as it is. All this bickering certainly didn't relieve that.

nerdymama15

I am thinking the same thing:  wanting to try again, but scared to death of the idea of having to go through a MC again!