Intro! TTC and hopefully adopting.

Hi ladies!

I'm a mother of a sweet 11 mo, but it took us a long while to conceive because of an issue. We are ttc again and not sure how long this go around will take. We will keep trying and accept every baby we are blessed with! That said..

There is a mama I'm friends with (only through facebook somehow) who is giving her baby #2 up for adoption, dd is in 3-4 months. I've contacted her and she is going through an agency because of bf being a ticking bomb and everyone else that knows her can't afford the agency. And BF just got out of jail yesterday and he is in Vegas partying, so BM is waiting for him to sign papers. She believes he might magically show up when the baby is born like he thinks he's been america's best dad. She seems far over him.. And I find myself wishing he stays a bad person so I can have a new addition to my family. I'm not like this.. I fostered two littles a year ago and was happy bm got her act together and was able to get her babies back. So now, I hope that we can maintain a decent open adoption with bm only. I'm very new to adoption research so idk if it's possible to cut off BF.

All that aside, I want to also mention I'm a chewy (getting crunchy) mama, my biggest granolas are my cloth diapers and I breastfeed, hope to continue for the potential new member! I believe that will help baby and me bond, it would be nutritionally beneficial, and it will save us lots o' moolah.

I can't wait to get to know you all better, and good luck in your baby ventures!


Re: Intro! TTC and hopefully adopting.

  • Hello and Welcome to the Board!
    I have found that this board is a wealth of support and information! 
    Good luck on your journey and keep us posted!


    "Even miracles take a little time"

  • Welcome! That all sounds very exciting!

    If you don't mind, I'd like to correct a couple words because we are very big on positive adoption language here. I'm a birthmom and a few things you said (I'm sure totally accidentally!) hurt me. First, a birth mom doesn't give up her child like you would ice cream in the name of health. She lovingly places her for adoption with another family. It was the hardest thing I have ever done and I have yet to give her up :-)

    Secondly, she is not a birth mom yet. She is an expectant mom while pregnant, and a mom until she signs the paperwork to terminate her parental right. Thank you for being receptive to my words!

    I think you'll enjoy the best board on the bump!
    Birthmom to A, 1/8- the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

    A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao-Tzu

    [Deleted User]
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  • Totally didn't mean to step on toes, thanks for making me aware of my word choices! I was trying to follow the suggested abbreviations but obviously there are lines.
    She has signed papers, just waiting on the father. Also: "giving up for adoption" we're her words, so that's what I used to relay info. We would be going the open adoption route if she does decide that is the best option for her so I have respect as she is a hard working mama already.
  • Hello, and welcome.

    I wish you all the best in your adoption journey.  I have seen some wonderful families created through adoption through friends, family members, and acquaintances.  These situations can have added complications, however, as the birthparents may feel it's more a coparenting situation.  If you do proceed with a situation like this, please be sure the birthparents have access to adoption counseling and a lawyer of their own.

    If you have any questions, just ask!  This board is great at sharing their experiences and knowledge.
  • Good luck!
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