Third-Party Reproduction

Surrogacy - What are ways to form attachment in the womb and after the first few days?

About a year ago, my husband’s best friend approached us to tell us she was ready to surrogate! Now we are so happy to have a little one on the way! (15weeks 1 day as of this post). As awesome as this is, with our surrogate and our "little bun in the oven" living about an hour away, I can't help feeling like we're missing a lot of the joys of the pregnancy process. I worry about voice recognition, and being able to share music with the baby bump, and forming attachments. Any suggestions?

Re: Surrogacy - What are ways to form attachment in the womb and after the first few days?

  • Congratulations! I don't have any advice, but I wanted to welcome you.

    TTC #1 since May 2010

    OE IVF #1  9/2/13 Cancelled- poor response

    DE IVF #1 3/12/14- BFP 3/17/14- ectopic, right tube removed 4/11/14 @ 7 weeks

    DE FET #1 7/3/14-Transferred 2 5AA 6 day embryos Beta 7/13/14 BFN

    DE FET #2 9/5/14-Transferred 2 4BB 5 day embryos Beta 9/15/14 BFN

    DE FET #3 in December- Cancelled, didn't respond to meds

    DE FET #3 (2nd try) 2/13/15- Transferred 1 4BB and 1 4BA 5 day embryos Beta 2/23/15  BFN again (CP)

    DE FET #4 - last 2 frosties....5/22/15- Transferred 1 4BA embryo...only one frostie thawed properly.  Beta scheduled for 6/1-  BFN (beta 2, 2.81, 6, 23, 49.4) 6/15/15 Discovered ectopic in left tube.  Methotrexate given. Moving on to a new donor. Hoping to transfer by the end of the year.

    Cant find a donor that is healthy and available.  Looking at being happy with just the two of us.


  • Prior to birth you can make a recording for the baby and she can either use regular ear buds or you can get her a belly buds set (my IM is sending me Belly Buds this week) so the baby can get used to your voice.  Later I plan to visit some of their favorite restaurants so the baby gets a taste for the foods they like.  After birth I would hold, snuggle, and talk to your baby as much as possible.  If you're up for it you could consider inducing lactation but I certainly don't think that's necessary to bond with your baby.  No matter what, when you see your baby for the first time, your life will change for the better.

    GSx1 - 05/13/2013
    GSx2 for T&B - EDD 6/21/2015 - They're having a GIRL!

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  • Congratulations!

     We have a LO that will be 3 months tomorrow by surrogacy. 
    We also recorded our voices singing and reading stories.
    Are you able to go to Dr. appointments? That will help you to attach.

    I was very worried about this too, but we have had no issues. We did lots of cuddling and skin-to-skin in the first weeks. We formula fed, but are bonded and happy all the same!

    One thing to check on is if you will be able to room in with your baby in a room separate from your carrier. We were able to and that allowed bonding to start right away.

    Best of luck!
    TTC #1 since 12/2010 DH: MFI, cancer survivor Me: Resected septate uterus, lap treated mild endo, tubes open, ovulate on own, autoimmune disease 3 Failed IUI's (2/2012, 4/2012, 6/2012) 
    IVF #1 August 2012. BFP! Beta #1 56.7 Beta #2 150 One baby, one heartbeat on 9/20/12! no h/b @7w6d. dandc @8w0d
    FET #1 December 2012, BFN
    FET #2 February 2013, no embies survived thaw
    IVF #2, BFP #2, Loss #2 March 2013, Scar tissue discovered, RPL testing,
    IVF #3, BFP #3, Loss #3 (twins) September 2013
    Hostile ute, moving onto Gestational Carrier!

    GC/FET #1 of 1 5AA blast and 1 compacted blast, February 2014, BFP #4 on 3/1/2014!
    6w u/s 1 bean with h/b of 145 bpm, 8w u/s 187 bpm
    EDD 11/7/14. Please, please, please stick little one!

    Praying unceasingly for a miracle. ALL welcome!


  • Hi, so happy for you :) we are also waiting our baby in 1 month, I am so excited!! But our surrogate mother is from Ukraine, we got acquainted at our clinic Adonis, she is wonderful 
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