Surrogacy - What are ways to form attachment in the womb and after the first few days?

KevinandJesse

About a year ago, my husband’s best friend approached us to tell us she was ready to surrogate! Now we are so happy to have a little one on the way! (15weeks 1 day as of this post). As awesome as this is, with our surrogate and our "little bun in the oven" living about an hour away, I can't help feeling like we're missing a lot of the joys of the pregnancy process. I worry about voice recognition, and being able to share music with the baby bump, and forming attachments. Any suggestions?<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

 

vamommies

Not sure what kind of a legal agreement your family has, maybe spend the weekends together, take milestone pictures of week by week belly. Buy a cheap ipod/head phones, load a playlist, make some recordings of you and your husband talking, have her play the list at night or when she can. This also might sound a little weird, but a lot of couples who are building their family through open adoption, if they have a great relationship with the birth mother, they do maternity pictures all together.

healz413

I think you'll definitely find folks on the Third-Party Reproduction board who can weigh in on this.

ETA: I realized I might sound like I"m saying that you shouldn't post here. I'm not saying that at all. I just want you to have access to the most supportive information you can find and the folks at TPR have more experience with surrogacy than most of us.

Karlamo

Have you seen the blog Looking for Christina Lie?  It's a blog written by 2 gay men who were in the process of going through surrogacy.  Their daughter is 2 now I think.   They live in Hawaii and the Surrogate lives in DC.

I'll attach the link in case you're interested in going back and reading about their journey.  I hope you stick around here, I'd love to hear more about your journey to Daddyhood!

 https://dougandbill.blogspot.com/

 

healz413

Haha, fair, @kevinandjesse! I can tell you that as far as straight people go, Third Party Reproduction is pretty great. I think because everyone there is doing at least something "unconventional' in terms of making a baby, there's a whole lot of openness and acceptance. @2mamazinseattle posts (or used to) there quite frequently and others of us have been on the board at various points.

KevinandJesse

Thanks @healz413 - I will post there. Thought I would try the LGBT board first because... well... straight people scare me :P haha.

 

 Thanks @knottie0954378and @KLeigh1

KevinandJesse

Karlamo said:

Have you seen the blog Looking for Christina Lie?  It's a blog written by 2 gay men who were in the process of going through surrogacy.  Their daughter is 2 now I think.   They live in Hawaii and the Surrogate lives in DC.

I'll attach the link in case you're interested in going back and reading about their journey.  I hope you stick around here, I'd love to hear more about your journey to Daddyhood!

 https://dougandbill.blogspot.com/

 

Thank you so much! @karlamo I'm checking out that link now! appreciate it!

ATXmommas

No advice here either, but we would love if you wanted to be part of our community. Congrats on the little one!