TTC Check-in (1/26)

channe9

Good morning. Hoping that we still have a good group to check-in after the recent exodus. If not, I don't mind talking to myself...  


Please share with us where you/your partner are at with your TTC journey. 

******Please remember to refrain from posting anything BFP related in this thread. This is a safe thread for all of us on the TTC journey. Anything BFP related should be posted in a separate thread if you want to share. Thank you*******

QOTW: If you feel comfortable answering of course... what was/is/will be important in choosing a donor? 

channe9

Hello out there... 

Since I have no siggy, I always feel compelled to summarise where we are in the process: Started Feb 14. We have done 5 at-home ICIs and 3 unmedicated IUIs. Our private clinic has just shut so we are now exploring other options. We've ruled out using the public system [yep, there's free donor IUI if you meet the criteria!] as we're not keen on having kids that are related to every other kid of same-sex parents in our not-that-big city so now it's down to a couple of options for next steps: ICIs with a known donor or going abroad for (mostly) publicly funded treatment. (THANK GOODNESS THIS PROVISION EXISTS!!!) 

So we had a chat with a potential known donor this weekend. Went well enough to warrant an in-person discussion. He seems keen but he and his husband are super busy so that next step might be a couple months off. 

In term of the public/going abroad route, I need to repeat a few blood tests -- all were fine the first time around but it's been long enough that they should be looked at again. We need to decide WHERE and WHEN we would want to go abroad for treatment and start the paperwork for that process. 

QOTW: I've asked this question selfishly as my thoughts continue to evolve on this. 

For at home ICIs, we chose an anonymous donor (who I was able to google, making him not so anonymous) with traits we liked. He seemed smart and he was a cute baby. When we switched to a private clinic, we HAD to use a willing to be known donor -- it's the law here. In that case, we picked based on hair and eye colour and, not gonna lie, COST. We picked a donor with less information as we figured he was willing to be known already... Now, we are looking at going abroad where, in some places, donors are (by law) anonymous and chosen by a lab tech based on criteria we submit OR potentially bringing a known donor (and his partner) into a peripheral role in our family. TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT OPTIONS! Yeesh. 

Everyone's decision on this are different. I do NOT believe that there's one right answer. But even after reading a lot, watching documentaries, etc. we are still not quite sure what OUR right answer is... 

StacyLH24

I'm 4dp5dt (4 days post 5 day transfer). I'm generally an emotional mess (Read: I will probably cry several times today and have been fighting back tears all morning) since this is the end of the line for us for the foreseeable future. As is such, either way this will be my last TTC check in.

I'm doing decently well on three Benadryl a day. I'm drowsy and generally spacy for a few hours after I take it and then it wears off for a bit before I take the next one.

Tomorrow is the first day that I could POAS and potentially expect a second line. I haven't figured out yet what day I want to. I think I might wait until Saturday because then neither of us has to work. Beta is a week from Monday.

QOTW: When we first started this journey, I wanted a donor who reflected C. We've been through three now and I honestly stopped caring about a whole lot - I just wanted to get pregnant. There were several health issues that I ruled donors out by though. Throughout the whole process, we've always wanted someone who was willing to be known. We wanted our kid(s) to have that option. I also wanted that option because I wanted to be able to thank the person who helped us create our family. Should we ever decide to try on our own at home, we have a friend who said he would be willing to donate. We will see what the future holds I suppose.

vamommies

Hello, finally the fertile week has come!

Today we are picking up our tank from the cryobank, lucky the snow storm hasn't started sticking, also asked if I could leave work two hours early to make sure I can get the tank before the storm. We are calling this our "last chance ICI at home" as we are using the last 3 of our donors vials. We have been monitoring my wife's cm very closely, and have looked hard at her past temp charts, seems like we have been inseminating to late, or just missing it. We are going to try a few different things this go around.

We might insem. two days earlier, then a day after her LH surge, instead of the 12, 24, 36 hour mark like we've been doing. We can only do the ICI in the evenings this week, we both work, and would rather not take off time. We are also going to try using a speculum, and coat the cervix, last night I was testing out the speculum, and there seems to be a small problem when bring it back out, it picks up the cm, we are worried it'll end up picking up some of the sperm. We are trying to figure out away from stopping that lol, thinking maybe use the soft cup, wipe it in that before inserting it after? (TMI I'm sorry) We are really hoping for that BFP, would be awesome Valentines gift, but we are also prepared for IVF if BFN.

@channe9 Sorry the only place around you to do IUI closed, maybe if you have to go outside your area, you can take a week vacation during your fertile week?

QOTW: Choosing our donor, we don't know any males that we would like or would want to be our known donor. We did not want to go searching either, and have to pay all the legal fees etc.

We went with a cryobank that is in our area, so we don't have to pay for shipping fees, we just pick it up/return tank. The first donor we choose was half Romanian, as I am not carrying, and my wife who is, we thought having someone close to my heritage (I am mixed with Romanian) would be awesome. Well we used him for 5 tries, and nothing, we choose to move on. Our next donor we looked for was med. tone of skin, brown hair/brown eyes like me. We started to learn we can't be that choosey, we kind of cared about the looks, like shape of face and eyes slightly like mine, but mostly care about health background and price.

I know that this child will not biologically be mine, but our love, this child will feel like he/she is ours. As much as I love my wife, I am excited for her to have our child!

Officerofthelaw

Good luck to everyone!
I feel like I'm so repetitive in these posts!
This Friday is my mock embryo transfer and I start my meds. Then Feb 6 I have a sonogram. Around the 20th or so will be the egg retrieval and then five days after that is the transfer. I'll know more exact dates on Friday. My wife and I are really excited!

Danni_Girl

Friday we are having an SHG to be sure all is good before we start trying for our rainbow. That's about all that is happening at this end.

We picked a donour that looked like Jo's brother as they look very much alike and it was hard doing facial recognition with her photos. We wanted our kids to look like both of us, it at all possible.

Danni_Girl

Do I have a sig with my posts? I can't remember and can't see them because I'm on TB App, if so I'll need to get on my laptop and change it...

Amber&Reva

@Danni_Girl yes you have a signature.

Knottie90743699

Hi everyone I am new here but have been lurking for awhile. My partner and I have been trying for the last year with doctors. This last time we decided to try it at home with out all the drugs. So today is 14 DPO. I have tested a few times and have gotten the dreaded BFN... so we have decided to just wait to see if i get AF by the end of the week. So far one day late. I consistently have a 31 day cycle.
I am really hoping this one works. I am sure as you all know the costs are crazy.
Back to lurking now, it is nice to meet you all.

Officerofthelaw

Thank you @wittyandwaiting‌

Officerofthelaw

Welcome @Knottie90743699‌ Im keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you.

Knottie90743699

Officerofthelaw said:

Welcome @Knottie90743699‌ Im keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you.

Thank you! I just got my BFP!

StacyLH24

Knottie90743699 said:

Officerofthelaw said:

Welcome @Knottie90743699‌ Im keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you.

Thank you! I just got my BFP!

Please please please edit your post here. It clearly explains that BFPs are not appropriate in this thread. That has been a rule for well over a year now and it has been violated by several folks. Please be respectful of the rules here.

cetcar2013

We don't really have any concrete updates at the moment.  I guess we do have more of a timeline for when we want to start trying, and think we're getting close to finishing the testing that needs to be done before we start.  We looked at one of the online calculators that figures out your due date based on the conception date and have decided that we probably want to wait a couple months before starting to try.  We have some travel scheduled for this spring and both of our families live a flight away and we would like to be able to visit them during the holidays next year.  But we also realize that it most likely won't happen on the first attempt or even the first couple.  Maybe we just have cold feet and are trying to be overly logical.  On more than one occasion, after a couple glasses of wine, we have talked about what it would be like if we were a boy and a girl.

Anyways, we've just started looking more seriously for a donor.  We're both blonde, fair skin, and have blue/hazel colored eyes.  Ideally, the donor will have similar characteristics.  We have messaged a couple of donors on Pride Angel and are waiting to see if they respond.  We've also looked into various banks for donors, and if we don't find a known donor who seems 'right,' we'll probably go that route.  We see the benefits of both for sure.

Officerofthelaw

@wittyandwaiting‌ thank you so much. Have a facebook?