Rainbow baby otw, still very depressed.

jennifernoelleb5594

This is my first post, so I'm a little nervous about posting because some people on here are a little harsh. Unfortunately I really don't have anyone to turn to, sadly, I don't have any friends, I'm some what of the "black sheep" of my family, out of a Pretty large family, the only one I have a relationship with is my mom, and as much as I talk to her, the only thing she really ever says is try not to think about it. The baby's father is useless, I just woke him up crying in pain, and he got mad that I woke him up because there's nothing he can do about it. I real feel like o have no where else to kinda talk about this besides here sadly. In 2013 I misscarried my first pregnancy, I'm now again expecting and due July 28, as of now I'm 13 weeks 5 days... I had an ultrasound a few days ago, but it wasn't anything like the videos I've been watching on YouTube, your not aloud to ask the ultrasound tech any questions, they just silently do the ultrasound and pass the results back to the doctor, I live in Newfoundland Canada, and the system here is terrible, anyway, the heart was beating and I got to see my little one move, but I have so much anxiety all the time, I'm so afraid I'm going to lose this baby, every cramp sends me into a panic. My doc is well aware of my situation, my depression and anxiety and I'm taking anti anxiety medication, but it's not really helping, I'm lying in bed now, with cramps in my belly and I'm so afraid something bad is happening, how do I get this fear and anxiety to go away ... Does it ever ? Are there any other moms out there doing this alone and having a hard time with it ? The baby's father and I are together and live together, but he works 12 hour days 6 days a week so he's really not around to comfort me & I don't have any friends to talk to... I'm just wondering if there is anyone else out there who lost their first pregnancy , & are now pregnant again , and have an anxiety disorder and depression ? I know being stressed and anxious is bad for the baby witch in turn makes me even more anxious, it's like I either pretend I'm not pregnant and not think about it, or I think every little thing I feel is the beginning of another mc. How do you make the worries go away? How is anyone else dealing with a pregnancy after a mc. Do you not think about the first, ? Should I forget about the first, I mc at 12.5 weeks , but found out the baby only got to 8.2 weeks. I'm way past that point and have seen my baby now, but I can't shake the fear. Every time I go pee I inspect the tp for blood, does anyone else do this ? Or just me ? I feel so lost , anything anyone thinks would help I would be so glad to hear. I'm sorry this was so long. It was my first post, & I'm rambling , I really need someone to talk to. Please help July mommies , I need someone's helP

MCH77

I've had 4 losses and my DS and am pg again. My first loss/pg sounds very similar to you. It was a missed mc discovered around 12w, LO had stopped growing around 8w.

To answer your question from my experience. I've never gotten past it. I'm afraid of losing my baby at every turn. However, I recognize that there is nothing that I can do, so I do my best to stay calm (not always easy or possible). Luckily I do have a great support group. Have you opened up to friends/family about your loss? You might be surprised at the support you find.

If you feel like it's impacting your day to day life, I'd have another discussion with your dr.

GL!

pblge

If your anxiety is really interfering with your ability to function and take enjoyment from life, there's a good chance you're experiencing antenatal depression. Please talk to your doctor. Some worry and sadness is normal for those with a history of loss, but what you describe sounds more serious.

Sending ((hugs)). Making it this far along with good scan results is very promising!

jenandbrett

I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time. I strongly recommend finding a counsellor or someone you can talk to in person. I think it will help a lot. The fear after a loss is totally normal, but I think someone you can talk to face to face will help you sort out your feelings.