Babies on the Brain
LNic5
member
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Vent/Question
LNic5
member
I have major baby fever, and have for a long time. It seems like everytime I turn around someone else is having a baby, whether it's friends, people I went to school with or people I don't even know. They are everywhere! You go shopping and there's at least 10 babies and almost equal amount of pregnant ladies!
I've been having a really time lately dealing with it I guess, I really want babies, always have and seeing all theses people having them or telling me they're pregnant has made feel a little jealous I guess, although I'm not even sure if that's the right word, it's just this feeling. Most of the time, the pregnancies are a surprise or people that have said they didn't want children previously which makes it even harder. Everytime I go shopping for baby gifts I get this sad feeling, or longing or ache I don't even know how to explain it....many emotions wrapped in one maybe. I mean I'm excited for my friends and love shopping for their little ones, it's not like I'm angry or bitter towards them. But sometimes it's hard shopping and looking at all the cute stuff. I even bought stuff in the summer for a friends baby shower and just couldn't part with an outfit I'd bought so it now hangs in the back of my closet (which very very few people know because it kind of makes me feel like a lunatic).
My question I guess is, have any of you gone through this experience or something similar and how did you cope and get through it??
I've been having a really time lately dealing with it I guess, I really want babies, always have and seeing all theses people having them or telling me they're pregnant has made feel a little jealous I guess, although I'm not even sure if that's the right word, it's just this feeling. Most of the time, the pregnancies are a surprise or people that have said they didn't want children previously which makes it even harder. Everytime I go shopping for baby gifts I get this sad feeling, or longing or ache I don't even know how to explain it....many emotions wrapped in one maybe. I mean I'm excited for my friends and love shopping for their little ones, it's not like I'm angry or bitter towards them. But sometimes it's hard shopping and looking at all the cute stuff. I even bought stuff in the summer for a friends baby shower and just couldn't part with an outfit I'd bought so it now hangs in the back of my closet (which very very few people know because it kind of makes me feel like a lunatic).
My question I guess is, have any of you gone through this experience or something similar and how did you cope and get through it??
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Re: Vent/Question
Yes... The year before we got pregnant I had 4 friends all give birth. I planned and hosted 4 baby showers.
It is painful... I cried... DH helped me see that right now wasn't quite the time.
Now with a 14 month old, I have baby fever now and then... but like others have said I can simply look at my credit card statement and it shuts my legs pretty quick
Life began when I saw your face
I.J.C. born 11.3.13
Not sure of your story, but are you married/ have a SO? (sorry if this seems odd-- but you don't have a siggy)
If yes, do they desire children? What is the timeline like for them to want to start trying? I never wanted children until I woke up one day and it was like a switch went off. I was already 30 and had been married a few years, so we decided to start trying. I got pregnant quickly, but miscarried and can relate to feeling jealous of other people's pregnancies during that time.
Just keep reminding yourself there are not a finite number of babies out there.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
I mean I am only 25, so I have time, but I always wanted/pictured myself married and having babies in my early-mid twenties, which could be another reason why I find it so difficult. This is where reality can really suck and shows you can't plan every little aspect of your life...sigh
If you don't have someone to rely on through this you need to reel in the baby fever quick.
Life began when I saw your face
I.J.C. born 11.3.13
And for the record, I would NEVER get pregnant randomly on purpose
go to amazon... start adding stuff to your cart, all the things you would need for a baby... diapers, clothes, etc.
Look at the total. That should shut your ovaries right up
Life began when I saw your face
I.J.C. born 11.3.13
When H and I first got married and I swore I couldn't wait a single second we built a monthly budget that scared the pants off me. Then when I that fear went away I started shopping on target.com for all the stuff I would want to have including diapers and wipes for a few months and I about died.
I agree that it seems like everyone around me is pregnant or has a young child. We have 5 kids under the age of 1 at my work. It is torture some days.
Love: March 2010 Marriage: July 2013 Debt Free: October 2014 TTC: April 2015
Oscar born November 20, 2016 at 35w6d
Oh-- LOL.
Please take this at face value-- I would stop hanging out on baby/ pregnancy message boards. Go out with your friends. Flirt with all of the men. Dance your ass off. Spend money on yourself. Make some mistakes. Learn from them.
You will meet someone. It will happen-- maybe not this year or the next. Maybe not for 5 more years, but just distract yourself in the meantime and live your life.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
But honestly I also just love names and reading post that might have different names I've never heard before, or the history with names. And i enjoy trying to help put names together. This aspect doesn't bother so much oddly enough
Right, I recognize your name from the BNB, but I just think hanging out and talking baby all the time is going to add fuel to the fire.
Hang out with your single friends. If you don't have any-- make some! Join an activity (cooking class/ painting class/ hiking group-- whatever) and just move your focus for now.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
Meh-- I get it. I'm not a great traveller myself so the thought of travelling with my LO makes me super anxious-- not to mention the added expense, the added luggage etc.
But I know lots of couples that travel loads with their kiddos.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
I do have hobbies, I'm a big hockey fan so I go to games all the time (normally once a week) and I've recently picked up knitting which I'm loving. And I hang out with friends whenever I can, unfortunately most live in a different city but we get together as often as possible.
With my job, it's a little difficult to remove myself from all thoughts etc...I'm a daycare provider/nanny sort of lol I've been with the same family for about 6 years...the little guy I look after right now I've been with since he was born pretty much and full time since he was 6 months, he's now 3, so it's fair to say I'm pretty attached. But the job has its ways of being helpful with this as well, people always say it's good birth control lol which some days can be very true, it's a good dose of reality!!!
I've also done what @UntaggableKatie suggested and went online....I mean I've always known babies are extremely expensive, it doesn't take a genius to know that, but seeing an actual approximate figure (for only a brief period of time) is like a good slap in the face lol I think it did a good enough job to keep my bigger feelings at bay!!!