TTC after an ectopic

Mrswolf0319

Hello ladies I have been reading this site for a while now. I just recently made a profile here. I'm finally ready to share my story with you all.

On January 9 of 2014 I had an ectopic pregnancy! It was extremely painful and mentally draining. I was 13 weeks along doctors could never find a heart beat, or even find my child. My husband and I wanted our little Angel so bad. The doctors couldn't save my tube either so now I have only my left tube and I recently found out it's a little curved but healthy. The anniversary of my ectopic recently passed and it was the hardest thing for me to stay strong. I have been trying to conceive since a little after my loss but with no luck I am looking for some positive outlook from other strong woman who have experienced a loss. My sister in law got pregnant and im so happy for her but sometimes I get sad because it's all she talks about, I hate feeling like that because I should be happy for her, if I was pregnant I would imagine myself doing the same. Any thoughts !!?? And it's like the bigger she gets the harder it is, am I wrong to feel like that my husband says I should just be happy for her but it's also his brothers wife maybe I'm just thinking too much??

Elliecat17

Welcome and I'm so sorry for your loss. Feeling jealous is something that I am pretty sure we all struggle with, as much as we hate it. There is nothing easy about the TTCAL journey. If you have been trying for over a year with no other pregnancies then you should probably start talking with your OB about a course of action. 

Rachaeleigh

Sorry for your loss. It's completely normal to feel jealousy or other negative emotions related to other people's pregnancies.
Welcome

Nikolie93

I am sorry for your loss and I echo what the others have said, it's pretty normal to feel jealousy when you're in the situations we are in. 

I also agree with Elliecat17, if it's been a year you may want to talk to your OB. 

Good luck to you!

rmpar29

I'm very sorry for your loss.  I also only have one tube (not from an EP, but a cyst) so I understand the MF that causes.  As for your sister, just be kind to yourself.  Of course you are going to feel jealousy and sadness.  I have found that the farther I'm out from the loss the easier it is to deal with others' pregnancies and babies.  Just do the best you can. 

I agree with the others, it's been a year, so it might be time to see an RE. 

catvaughn5002

I'm so sorry for your loss. The feelings of jealousy are completely normal.  If possible when you are having a bad day try and distance yourself from your sister in law. ((hugs))

RoseTyler72

I'm sorry for your loss. Your feelings are totally normal. Just do the best you can and avoid your SIL on your bad days. Welcome to the board.

jordangoodnight

I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome and ((hugs))

MIssSally25

***Warning: pregnancy mentioned***

I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board! I've been dealing with similar problems, my SIL is due ten days after I was supposed to be, and I'm having a really difficult time any time someone mentions her pregnancy. Its like a constant reminder of what I don't have. DH also struggles to understand, but everyone grieves differently.

Best of luck to you on your TTC journey! ((hugs)) 

Mrswolf0319

Thank you all it really means alot to me. Im sorry if I had mentioned anything that upset anybody I'm new here and still learning how things work on here. But im so grateful for all your responses. It really helps me out knowing you all understand me. I actually have been going back and forth with my obgyn I recently had a procedure done to check my only tube. Which they said was healthy, he wants to start me on clomid any suggestions on that? I think I might go for it if it's my only chance at me getting my wish. My Hubby is getting checked out as well. I would love to sit with my Sis and talk but I don't think she would take it very well. I think avoiding her on a bad day might doo the trick. I thank you all soo much for your responses again and Thank you I feel very welcome ! Will keep you all posted I have an appointment on the 22!

Mrswolf0319

Hugs to all of you as well, MIss Sally I completely understand . That's how I feel with my sister. I'm sorry about your loss as well. Look forward to talking with you all! Thank you again !

FmrAFBrat

***Lurking***

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my right tube to an ectopic back in October 2010. I've since had 2 sons and a miscarriage at 9 weeks. If you need any info PM me. Not sure if I'm sticking around, but I'll give you a way to find me.

Puglife83

I had an ectopic back in July of 2014. It really took me 6 months to get out of a Depressive, angry & jealous state. I recently went to my first RE appointment and it made me feel a lot better. I am going to go for a dye test on my tubes and starting clomid next cycle, because I took Methotrexate and my body is out of wack.

I understand how you feel about your sister in law and its totally ok to feel that way. Don't let anyone tell you differently. My younger cousin had her baby shower the week I lost the baby and it sent me into a nervous breakdown. I had to unfollow her from facebook from that time on because I just couldn't handle it.

CobaltBellisPerennis

Mrswolf0319 said:

Thank you all it really means alot to me. Im sorry if I had mentioned anything that upset anybody I'm new here and still learning how things work on here. But im so grateful for all your responses. It really helps me out knowing you all understand me. I actually have been going back and forth with my obgyn I recently had a procedure done to check my only tube. Which they said was healthy, he wants to start me on clomid any suggestions on that? I think I might go for it if it's my only chance at me getting my wish. My Hubby is getting checked out as well. I would love to sit with my Sis and talk but I don't think she would take it very well. I think avoiding her on a bad day might doo the trick. I thank you all soo much for your responses again and Thank you I feel very welcome ! Will keep you all posted I have an appointment on the 22!

Very late seeing this, but NO to the clomid provided by an OB. Clomid should only be taken under the care of an RE. There are several old threads on the bump about taking clomid without an RE and the devastating consequences. Please don't reply to those threads, but they should help you be better informed.

disney815

****lurking, pregnancies mentioned****

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had an ectopic in May 2011 which was terminated by 2 methotrexate injections. My tube was saved, but after the injections, I couldn't get pregnant again. It took exactly 1 year to the day of my loss to get pregnant again, and that was after testing my blood sugars and progesterone, going back in birth control for 3 months to try to regulate my cycles, and I ended up having to go on metformin and progesterone supplements. My OB did not feel comfortable prescribing me clomid.

Have you gotten your progesterone levels checked? My doctor prescribed me metformin simply because my body was not ovulating well on its own after the shots and metformin is typically prescribed for PCOS (which I do not have, but it worked). You're a strong woman!!!