Comments on my weight

yellowdaisies84

I'm used to people not making comments to me about my body or my weight. So, it's hard for me to deal with (some) people feeling like it doesn't "count" as rude now because I'm pregnant. I really don't like it. I'm extra sensitive but it's also that I think that I would never be okay with hearing people comment on my size.

Specifically, it depends on how you word it. If you ask me about my bump I'm fine. Talk about how my bump is getting bigger or "she's" getting bigger and I'm fine. Tell me that I'm bigger? Stings a little. Tell me that I have a "big belly" ouchie. Tell me that your dog is gaining sympathy weight with me OWWWW. Tell me that you want to stand beside me in a photo so that I can make you look skinny OWOWOW! Use the actual word "fat" when you talk about the changes happening in my body? Now I'm pissed. And it only makes it worse when you reassure me right after that it's totally normal and that I shouldn't worry about it. Tell me about your friend I don't know and how skinny she is and what happened when she popped in her eighth month and I'm really questioning why I talk to you. Talk about your unpregnant body and how it compares to my pregnant body and how funny is that and now I'm done with you. 

Yes, these are the comments I've dealt with. Also, when I asked my husband if I look fat (WHY DID I DO THAT?) He didn't say no, he didn't say of course not, he said "Hun, your pregnant." Which made me cry because I'm a sensitive hormonal mess and I'm so sick of people talking about my weight. Just stop! When I get my first "You're huge!" I'm scared of how I might respond. 

Anyone else dealing with this? I love my baby bump and my changing body, I really do. I just hate/cringe that people are being so insensitive and rude. Maybe I need to cut them some slack but SERIOUSLY. STOP!

mindala31

1- Maybe you need some better come backs.

2 - Write out that last sentence again and reread it everytime someone insensitively makes a comment about your weight. "I love my bump and I love my baby. Screw them!"

3 - Be sure to do something everyday that makes you feel good about your body to shake off their bad vibes.

doxiemom415

I don't have the energy for an actual response. That's all.

ktplusbby

Yea, I'm done with the weight threads. WTH? But OP I get it. People are stupid. Chalk it up to that and move on. I've had people make horrid comments and it hurt but I don't have to like them. That makes it better.

yellowdaisies84

I apologize if starting this thread is in any way in bad taste. I did read the thread below and my takeaway was that it was about posts about how much weight you've gained, etc. I just want to talk about rude comments from others regarding weight. 

I honestly do apologize and regret if I was wrong to post this. And I really did read that thread. So it's not a lack of lurking it might be a lack of understanding on my part. Sorry ladies. 

a.lindsay

I feel ya!!!! Just waiting for the "are you sure you have that much further to go" comments or the "wow it looks like your gonna pop any second" or the " are you sure you only have one baby in there".... Makes me wanna curse some people out! Last pregnancy I got all those comments plus some, like "what are you eating because you are really gaining a lot here and your gonna ave a hard time getting it off" I had to smile and walk away because I couldn't tell the secretary at my work to #*^% off or that at least I have a reason why I'm so big. Let's all be honest and say people suck and they all can #*^% off. I'm proud of my body and the child I'm bearing!

JuliaLovesPugs

You will feel better if you punch back verbally, even if you do so in a very polite, low key manner. At work, I would say something like "I don't appreciate comments about my body". If a friend or family member does it, I would be even more blunt in calling out their rudeness.

Smash1215

I find, "I'm pregnant. What's your excuse?" Or "go fuck yourself!" Or "That's an extremely rude thing to say!" all to be effective responses. People tell me I'm huge all the time so I have lots of experience with these responses.

SMFB

RHoPA1109 said:

yellowdaisies84 said:

I apologize if starting this thread is in any way in bad taste. I did read the thread below and my takeaway was that it was about posts about how much weight you've gained, etc. I just want to talk about rude comments from others regarding weight. 

I honestly do apologize and regret if I was wrong to post this. And I really did read that thread. So it's not a lack of lurking it might be a lack of understanding on my part. Sorry ladies. 

I applaud your ability to take criticism. Please stick around.

Just coming here to say this same thing.

Also OP you are surrounded by assholes. Just ignore them. Maybe cut your husband some slack though, telling you you're pregnant in response to you asking if your fat is his way of saying no you're not fat.

redneckmomma25

Maybe I don't really get those comments because I'm on the heavier side in general. But I understand comments stinging. I think you need to formulate a response. They need to know that's not ok to say. Then you need to remember yourself that what you are doing is beautiful. You are creating a life. You need to be secure in yourself and know that what they said to you these people probably say to any pregnant individual. I find most people have a standard "line" they use for everyone. It is not specific to you. I would also discuss with your husband how you feel. Tell him flat out that you need verbal reassurances from him.

shandorfml2

I'm at the point I don't care what people think. I have no problem saying "I'm pregnant" if someone comments or asks. I'm actually more sensitive when I'm NOT pregnant because then it is just fat! 

lilann2011

I feel you OP!! My MIL yesterday was like wow you are big and still have 4 mths to go!! I am due April 1st, but for some reason people hear April and want to count the whole month!
I reminded her in fact only have 2.5mths left and to not wish another 4mths on me
It's hard to hear these things I know especially when you are feeling a little insecure yourself...I would just try to brush them off but if you have a repeat offender stick up for yourself!

allisimon

Wow.... These ladies are seriously crazy, we're all pregnant here and we are ALL struggling with insecurities and hormonal issues.
For all you insensitive ladies, you must be super skinny and think you are SUPER PERFECT! Well your not, we are all fighting our own battles and this happens to be hers.
She thought this was a.safe place to get positive feedback and express how she feels but some on this thread make it a bad experience for her. Get OVER YOURSELVES!

taahira

allisimon said:

Wow.... These ladies are seriously crazy, we're all pregnant here and we are ALL struggling with insecurities and hormonal issues.
For all you insensitive ladies, you must be super skinny and think you are SUPER PERFECT! Well your not, we are all fighting our own battles and this happens to be hers.
She thought this was a.safe place to get positive feedback and express how she feels but some on this thread make it a bad experience for her. Get OVER YOURSELVES!

Have you read anything on this board?
Try checking out the board, before you make comments that make no sense.

ElizabethSwann

Who gives a flying crap what other people say? 

You are growing your child, and you need to gain weight.

mrsgunsta

allisimon said:

Wow.... These ladies are seriously crazy, we're all pregnant here and we are ALL struggling with insecurities and hormonal issues.
For all you insensitive ladies, you must be super skinny and think you are SUPER PERFECT! Well your not, we are all fighting our own battles and this happens to be hers.
She thought this was a.safe place to get positive feedback and express how she feels but some on this thread make it a bad experience for her. Get OVER YOURSELVES!

"You're" is the correct usage.
As in, "you're butt hurt".

julievdm12

SMFB said:

RHoPA1109 said:

yellowdaisies84 said:

I apologize if starting this thread is in any way in bad taste. I did read the thread below and my takeaway was that it was about posts about how much weight you've gained, etc. I just want to talk about rude comments from others regarding weight. 

I honestly do apologize and regret if I was wrong to post this. And I really did read that thread. So it's not a lack of lurking it might be a lack of understanding on my part. Sorry ladies. 

I applaud your ability to take criticism. Please stick around.

Just coming here to say this same thing.

Also OP you are surrounded by assholes. Just ignore them. Maybe cut your husband some slack though, telling you you're pregnant in response to you asking if your fat is his way of saying no you're not fat.


All of this.

jillb143

I'm sorry but whoever these friends are that are saying stuff like " let me stand next to you in pictures to make me look skinnier," and stuff like that is out of line and if one of my friends did that I would absolutely smack them. I would probably cry over some of the stuff you've dealt with but when someone says "your huge" remember they are referring to the baby! My fiancé says the same thing when I ask him if I look fat. He says of course not your pregnant, or how could I say ur fat, ur pregnant? They are trying to be nice and he means that minus the baby in your belly making you look bigger , you are not!

doxiemom415

allisimon said:

Wow.... These ladies are seriously crazy, we're all pregnant here and we are ALL struggling with insecurities and hormonal issues. For all you insensitive ladies, you must be super skinny and think you are SUPER PERFECT! Well your not, we are all fighting our own battles and this happens to be hers. She thought this was a.safe place to get positive feedback and express how she feels but some on this thread make it a bad experience for her. Get OVER YOURSELVES!

redneckmomma25

jillb143 said:

I'm sorry but whoever these friends are that are saying stuff like " let me stand next to you in pictures to make me look skinnier," and stuff like that is out of line and if one of my friends did that I would absolutely smack them. I would probably cry over some of the stuff you've dealt with but when someone says "your huge" remember they are referring to the baby! My fiancé says the same thing when I ask him if I look fat. He says of course not your pregnant, or how could I say ur fat, ur pregnant? They are trying to be nice and he means that minus the baby in your belly making you look bigger , you are not!

You liked @allisimon 's post. You can exit stage right any time.

JaneShops

Haha. WK stirring new drama into the pot
@Op, sorry to hear that you're hearing these weight comments nonstop. I agree with the above advice
Hope you have a better day today

dana1047

I was going to offer a little sympathy to OP even though weight threads don't go over here....BUT then I saw the WK response.


WK....your response is not needed.

OP...once you tell the biggest offender off be prepared for the "bitch face". I get it from a girl at work daily now but IDGAF.

stephanieandjay

I rarely read these threads and I never comment but seriously ladies is it necessary to be so rude?! I won't be reading any of these again after seeing how incredibly rude and unsupportive some of you are, so don't bother responding; but this is a site to show support for one another, not to verbally attack each other. Honestly, I'm disappointed. I won't be looking for support here anymore.

doxiemom415

stephanieandjay said:

I rarely read these threads and I never comment but seriously ladies is it necessary to be so rude?! I won't be reading any of these again after seeing how incredibly rude and unsupportive some of you are, so don't bother responding; but this is a site to show support for one another, not to verbally attack each other. Honestly, I'm disappointed. I won't be looking for support here anymore.

Thank GOD. One less person to post random bullshit. Whew.

doxiemom415

And BC also- @marleygirl87 make up your mind whether you wanna stay here and try to become a part of the community, or egg on the random drive-by's. Because you're border line irritating as fuck, at this point with your "help me help myself become a part of the board" but then your "oh, you posted a shitty comment about the moral of the board, I love-tit the shit out of that comment!" Pick one or move on.

angelike81

I'm a bit on the heavier side so I have only gained 6 pounds which my doctor says is fine but it does bother me when people tell me that I look like I've lost weight. It makes me worry about my baby and doubt that he's getting his nutritional needs met. I know it's some what of a different situation than yours but I think people should just avoid weight/size comments during pregnancy.

Marleygirl87

doxiemom415 said:

And BC also- @marleygirl87 make up your mind whether you wanna stay here and try to become a part of the community, or egg on the random drive-by's. Because you're border line irritating as fuck, at this point with your "help me help myself become a part of the board" but then your "oh, you posted a shitty comment about the moral of the board, I love-tit the shit out of that comment!" Pick one or move on.

She made a few good points, that's why I liked her comment. As far as I know I'am allowed to like comments, as well as try to be member of the community.

doxiemom415

Marleygirl87 said:

And BC also- @marleygirl87 make up your mind whether you wanna stay here and try to become a part of the community, or egg on the random drive-by's. Because you're border line irritating as fuck, at this point with your "help me help myself become a part of the board" but then your "oh, you posted a shitty comment about the moral of the board, I love-tit the shit out of that comment!" Pick one or move on.

She made a few good points, that's why I liked her comment. As far as I know I'am allowed to like comments, as well as try to be member of the community.

You missed the whole point of my post, but that's fine. I really don't care what you do either way, but I'm just over the on the fence thing from the randoms coming out of the wood work. Either way, I see this Marleygirl/April15 relationship not working out, so I'll just sit back and watch.

doxiemom415

mrsslushie said:

And BC also- @marleygirl87 make up your mind whether you wanna stay here and try to become a part of the community, or egg on the random drive-by's. Because you're border line irritating as fuck, at this point with your "help me help myself become a part of the board" but then your "oh, you posted a shitty comment about the moral of the board, I love-tit the shit out of that comment!" Pick one or move on.

@doxiemom415‌, I just said the same thing on her newest thread! Great minds, girl! :x

doxiemom415

mrsslushie said:

Why are the butthurt always "looking for support" instead of being interested in joining a community. Take, take, take. Tsk tsk.

I don't think they ever learned the "you get what you give" lesson... 

trixchik30

OP I would just tell you it's universal. People are going to say crap all the time...99% of the time they don't even realize how insensitive they are. You have to decide how you're going too deal with it - either tell them it isn't ok or learn to get over it. We are all in the same boat in that our bodies will never be the same...that being said, my usual response is the oh so snarky "thanks...I'm not sensitive about my body at all right now so that helped a lot." They get it.

xokay

I have definitely felt this way earlier in my pregnancy with comments like 'when will you get a gut' etc! All I wanted to say to them was 'Hello people, its pregnancy! What is your excuse?' lol but I bit my tongue. It bothered me for awhile to the point that I didn't even want to go anywhere. Eventually I realized - who cares! You are only pregnant so many times in your life and it is such a blessing. Your body is doing something so beautiful and there is nothing to be self concious about. People have no filter. Try to embrace it and ignore the rude comments, even though I know it's easier said than done.

af2004rn

People are rude. People are the same even if you are pregnant. You just have to ignore it. I get the look DAILY because I work different job sites every time. I just decided it doesn't matter, I'm the young mother who is going to have a healthy newborn in a few more weeks.

isha12345

JuliaLovesPugs

@Snowbigdeal -Damn straight. People need to learn that manners still apply when someone is with child. The only people I humor on that front are those over 70. Everyone else gets ignored or the snarky comment they so richly deserve.

JuliaLovesPugs

snowbigdeal said:

@julialovespugs you are okay in my book. If you get fed up in this place, you should totally intro over at you-know-where.

I did sign up over there, but wondered if they'd have me this late in the game. I know emotions are raw. Maybe I'll intro tonight and test the waters.