Stupid Question Sunday

LMurphy207

Can we please?

I have one, don't laugh. First time Mom and first pregnancy. How will
I know I'm in labor? I have pains and feel pressure all the time. All anyone can say is "You'll just know!". I read that only about 30% of women have their water break on its own so I can't count on that as an indicator (plus what if I piss my pants and think it's my water?!)

Stupidest question I've got!

lindsayanne14

I second @frownyface‌ in that you really will know, maybe not right away, but pretty soon after things get rolling. My water didn't break until I was at hospital so that didn't help me at all. I was very tired the day my contractions began, more tired than normal. I started having irregular ones around dinner time and by 9 at night I knew it was the real deal. I started timing them on an app called "Full Term Labor" and we were off to the hospital by 8 the next morning.

LMurphy207

Thanks ladies. I've been asking my doctor and trying to see what Google says and I've been hearing the same things. I'm just trying to be prepared and I'm just one of those people where not getting a straight factual answer kills me.

jk3610

I've heard the 5-1-1 thing and wonder how many stm's here followed that with their first.

tif5596

I'm not so much worried about knowing when I'm in labor as I am worried about knowing when to go to the hospital. My hospital is about half an hour away and I would hate to go and be sent back home. I'm a FTM as well so I know where you're coming from.

lindsayanne14

@LMurphy207‌ as far as the confusing peeing and water breaking, I've read that if you are trying to tell the difference getting up quickly from a seated position will force amniotic fluid out, but not pee. Good luck in getting up quickly at 40 weeks PG though! Haha!

jackieanddan1989

Here's my stupid question- how much help, physically, will I need immediately postpartum (assuming vaginal birth, although anything could happen). Will I be able to drive? Go to the bathroom without help? Obtain food? Just how helpless will I be? I ask because my husband will be gone at a police academy when the baby is born, and am debating whether or not to take my mom up on her offer to move in with her for the first couple weeks. Part of me wants to but the proud part if me wants to take my baby home to MY house to be his home. Stms- would I regret trying to go it alone?

jk3610

I don't know about vaginal births @jackieanddan1989‌, but after my sister's csection in april my mom went to stay with her for a couple weeks. The biggest advice she's given me is to be okay with letting my guard down considerably because there were things my mom had to help her with that might be deemed "embarrassing" for some. Might be different with a vaginal birth but not sure.

lindsayanne14

I had an uncomplicated vaginal birth and I was self sufficient pretty much immeadiately. I don't remember if I was told not to drive for a few days or not but I was driving a couple days after DS was born. My mom and DH were around which was nice but I would have been totally capable of caring for myself and DS.

islandmom79

As for the water breaking, I woke up at 4 am and went to the bathroom and then when I stood up I felt very wet. I sat back down wiped and got up and it happened again. The amount of fluid was more than anything I had ever experienced.  I was pretty sure my water broke and I googled a little bit to decide if it really was my water breaking, but in the end, I just called my doctor.  They told me to go ahead and come in.  When in doubt just call them and ask. They will guide you.

@jackieanddan1989  I am not sure about vaginal birth, but my mom came after my c-section and I did not need her a ton, but I definitely needed some help.  She stayed with me about a week.  Would your mom be willing to come stay with you?  That way you have all of your baby gear and you can adjust to have a new baby in your home with a little bit of help.  Even with my husband home, I really enjoyed having her there during the day while my hubby was at work.  

jackieanddan1989

@islandmom79‌ She has said she might be able to stay overnight some nights, but she still works so it wouldnt be as easy for her. I dont want to ask too much of her.

tif5596

@mrsblissed‌ and @jackieanddan1989‌ I'm a police wife as well. I'm curious how this whole thing is going to work out once LO gets here since he works nights and has such a crazy schedule. It was so much fun growing up with parents as police officers though! I can't wait for LO to be able to play in the police car and all that!

islandmom79

After my csection I was able to go to the bathroom, eat, move around the house etc. I just couldn't lift anything real heavy and they told me not to drive for 7 to 10 days. I probably could have drove a little earlier than that but not much. That is a hard call. Maybe others will chime in.

ejz98ric02

Stupid question for real. And I'm throwing it out there because my crystal ball is broken.

My due date is April 13th. FTM. my mother wants to fly to CA from CT to be here to help take care of me, DH, the house, etc. We don't know when to book her flight! I know it's a crap shoot. She has 3 weeks to spend here.
I'm sure there is no real answer, but I thought I'd throw it out there.

jackieanddan1989

Thanks for the input everyone! Yeah it would be ideal if my mom could come here but as I said dont want to mess up her work schedule. I will probably end up making my decision last minute, and based off my emotions at the time, based off what I know of myself. Its nice to know though that it is possible to do it myself if thats what I choose to do. @tif5596‌ yeah as far as childcare we are completely playing it by ear. I am a night shift nurse, and DH wont know what shift he is working until after he graduates academy in July. I hope he can do days so that he can care for the baby while Im at work but that is no guarantee. Unfortunately he has no say in it so there is no way for us to plan. We only found out he was accepted to the academy last week and he leaves next week so it has been a whirlwind.

wolowizard

When you go into labor do you just go to L&D and have them call your doctor, or do you call your doctor and have them tell you to go to L&D? Or just show up and have the hospital call your doctors office?

PinkDahLia44

@mrsblissed‌ , @jackieanddan1989‌ , I had a vaginal birth. While I was completely capable of caring for myself, I kept forgetting to do things like eat, and it's nice to have someone around who can make dinner, or hold the baby while you shower.

tif5596

@jackieanddan1989‌ unfortunately it doesn't get any better after he gets out of the academy. When they want him to change shifts, he changes shifts. Period. And they don't usually give a whole lot of notice either. I wish you the best! I'm sure you guys will figure it all out! And congrats to your DH for getting into the academy!

khan08

@LMurphy207‌ I knew I was in labor when my back pain kept coming back every 20 min. It literally felt like somebody took a sledgehammer to my tailbone. I never experienced contractions in front. Everything was in my back. I also looked for my mucus plug. That was also and indicator

khan08

@wolowizard‌ I went 8 days early and I just went to the hospital and they transferred me to L&D. From their they should be putting you in triage and then they ask who is the delivering doctor and who is on call if your doctor is unavailable. Out clinic is closed after 5:30 so they advise everybody to just go to the hospital.

dancinbaby123

ejz98ric02 said:

Stupid question for real. And I'm throwing it out there because my crystal ball is broken.

My due date is April 13th. FTM. my mother wants to fly to CA from CT to be here to help take care of me, DH, the house, etc. We don't know when to book her flight! I know it's a crap shoot. She has 3 weeks to spend here.
I'm sure there is no real answer, but I thought I'd throw it out there.

Same question! Mom is flying from East Coast to West Coast for 3 weeks and ideally I want her to get here a few days before the birth. Doctor's crystal ball was broken too but did say as due date approaches and I go to weekly appointments she may have a better idea of baby's arrival date, I think based on dilation but don't recall. I think I will just book a flight on a ticket with flexibility for a week before the due date and leaving two weeks after. Might be the best I can do for now. Curious to know how others have handled this.

lindsayanne14

@wolowizard‌ your Dr will likely go over this with you at an upcoming visit. I would imagine the protocol depends on the Dr and hospital. In my case you ALWAYS notify the Drs office when you're heading to the hospital, other Drs may have a different procedure.

@snegde‌ it's crazy to think our LO's could be nursery buddies, but it really could happen and would be an awesome thing to include when we post our birth stories!

somewheresublime86

dancinbaby123 said:

ejz98ric02 said:

Stupid question for real. And I'm throwing it out there because my crystal ball is broken.

My due date is April 13th. FTM. my mother wants to fly to CA from CT to be here to help take care of me, DH, the house, etc. We don't know when to book her flight! I know it's a crap shoot. She has 3 weeks to spend here.
I'm sure there is no real answer, but I thought I'd throw it out there.

Same question! Mom is flying from East Coast to West Coast for 3 weeks and ideally I want her to get here a few days before the birth. Doctor's crystal ball was broken too but did say as due date approaches and I go to weekly appointments she may have a better idea of baby's arrival date, I think based on dilation but don't recall. I think I will just book a flight on a ticket with flexibility for a week before the due date and leaving two weeks after. Might be the best I can do for now. Curious to know how others have handled this.

There's a great chart in 'Expecting Better' that shows probability of delivery within a certain timeframe based on dilation and effacement.

acolodiy

Here is my stupid question. It's getting harder to see my areas for grooming. I'm beginning to get perplexed on how to keep myself neat. I googled this of course and they suggest Brazilian waxing. My question would then be how in the world would I get waxed if excess discharge is a side effect of pregnancy? I'm wearing panty liners daily. What have some of you resorted to? I'm only 26 weeks this week and I'm not ready to throw in the (trimmed) towel. Help.

wolowizard

I figured it would be covered closer to delivery and I planned on asking I was just wondering today lol. Thanks guys!

Ginja85

Can someone send me our new hideaway address? Seems it got deleted during the purge or I'm really stupid & can't find the thread.

SeekingSmall

LMurphy207 said:

Can we please?

I have one, don't laugh. First time Mom and first pregnancy. How will
I know I'm in labor? I have pains and feel pressure all the time. All anyone can say is "You'll just know!". I read that only about 30% of women have their water break on its own so I can't count on that as an indicator (plus what if I piss my pants and think it's my water?!)

Stupidest question I've got!

With my daughter, I felt normal. But my water broke at 9:30 PM, and 11 hours later she was out. (Contractions didn't start until 2:30 am.)

With the preterm labor last week, I just felt off, couldn't explain it, and then had some tightening and cramps that ended up getting me admitted to the hospital because I started dilating a little. So, honestly it could go either way. Definitely pay attention to how you feel, and your intuition.

Cadancetyler

acolodiy said:

Here is my stupid question. It's getting harder to see my areas for grooming. I'm beginning to get perplexed on how to keep myself neat. I googled this of course and they suggest Brazilian waxing. My question would then be how in the world would I get waxed if excess discharge is a side effect of pregnancy? I'm wearing panty liners daily. What have some of you resorted to? I'm only 26 weeks this week and I'm not ready to throw in the (trimmed) towel. Help.

I finally broke down and asked my husband to help. He obliged, and all was well. The things we do for love.

a.lindsay

LMurphy207 said:

Can we please? I have one, don't laugh. First time Mom and first pregnancy. How will I know I'm in labor? I have pains and feel pressure all the time. All anyone can say is "You'll just know!". I read that only about 30% of women have their water break on its own so I can't count on that as an indicator (plus what if I piss my pants and think it's my water?!) Stupidest question I've got!

With my dd my water never broke until after I received my epidural 17 hours later (I was in labor for 21.5 hours) I woke up early and felt "weird" with contractions. I got a bath, washed clothes, checked my hospital bag to make sure everything was packed. It was super early so I let dh sleep. I downloaded a few contraction timer apps and started timing them. Once they were consistently 5 min apart we called my ob and drove to the hospital. Everyone's experience is different but I do suggest downloading some contraction timer apps.

jackieanddan1989 said:

Here's my stupid question- how much help, physically, will I need immediately postpartum (assuming vaginal birth, although anything could happen). Will I be able to drive? Go to the bathroom without help? Obtain food? Just how helpless will I be? I ask because my husband will be gone at a police academy when the baby is born, and am debating whether or not to take my mom up on her offer to move in with her for the first couple weeks. Part of me wants to but the proud part if me wants to take my baby home to MY house to be his home. Stms- would I regret trying to go it alone?

About an hour After dd was born I got up on my own and used the bathroom and ate food. 6 hours later I showered and got dressed (I couldn't stand to be in that gown for one more minute). Once I got home I did stuff but had a lot of help from my dh. I didn't drive for weeks because I didn't have to. It's nice that your mom is offering to help you. Think about how independent or dependent you are currently and if you will be comfortable away from home. Could she go to your house?

Ndm410

@acolodiy‌ I bought a hand-held mirror and use an electric trimmer. It is working out pretty well. It isn't perfect but it's sooooo much better than nothing!!!

@jackieanddan1989‌ I had a vaginal delivery with a few stitches. I didn't need any help once I left the hospital. I really only had an issue once, when I went to Walmart and walked around for about half an hour and even then I was just sore. I didn't have any driving restrictions bc I didn't fill my pain med prescription. My MIL was in town for 2 weeks after dd was born but I really chose to do everything myself and didn't "need" her. I would NOT have been comfortable anywhere but in my own home though as it was a pretty emotional time and I needed my own space. It's a personal preference I guess. However, if your mom works how much can she be there to help you anyway? She will be at work during the day and need to sleep at night.

Edited to reduce redundancy

thing3ontheway

saltbox40 said:

lovemymuttzillas said:

wolowizard said:

When you go into labor do you just go to L&D and have them call your doctor, or do you call your doctor and have them tell you to go to L&D? Or just show up and have the hospital call your doctors office?

My doctors' office wants me to call and wait for a call back if after hours. If I think it's an emergency I'm still supposed to call and tell them I'm going to the hospital. Your doctor will probably have their own preferences.

.
Same.

Same here as well!

lexyraejay

acolodiy said:

Here is my stupid question. It's getting harder to see my areas for grooming. I'm beginning to get perplexed on how to keep myself neat. I googled this of course and they suggest Brazilian waxing. My question would then be how in the world would I get waxed if excess discharge is a side effect of pregnancy? I'm wearing panty liners daily. What have some of you resorted to? I'm only 26 weeks this week and I'm not ready to throw in the (trimmed) towel. Help.

You could simply use a body trimmer and just keep everything cropped close without risking nicks or razor burn.

kjuryfl

ejz98ric02 said:

Stupid question for real. And I'm throwing it out there because my crystal ball is broken.

My due date is April 13th. FTM. my mother wants to fly to CA from CT to be here to help take care of me, DH, the house, etc. We don't know when to book her flight! I know it's a crap shoot. She has 3 weeks to spend here.
I'm sure there is no real answer, but I thought I'd throw it out there.

We lived away from all family when I had my 1st. My OB offered to induce at 39wks (which I accepted). It worked out beautifully for all of the family that needed to buy plane tickets to come visit. I'm sure some will flame me for choosing an elective induction but it worked for us and I have zero regrets (and had a fabulous induction/delivery).

kjuryfl

acolodiy said:

Here is my stupid question. It's getting harder to see my areas for grooming. I'm beginning to get perplexed on how to keep myself neat. I googled this of course and they suggest Brazilian waxing. My question would then be how in the world would I get waxed if excess discharge is a side effect of pregnancy? I'm wearing panty liners daily. What have some of you resorted to? I'm only 26 weeks this week and I'm not ready to throw in the (trimmed) towel. Help.

I kept a hand mirror in the shower. I was afraid to get waxes while pregnant since you are more sensitive down there during pregnancy.

lindsayanne14

snowbigdeal said:

Background for my stupid question: my previous L&D experience involved an induction at 33 weeks. I was not dilated at all and they gave me a few doses of pitocin and cervidil. Contractions ended up starting very suddenly, were very intense, and moved to about 1 minute apart very quickly. This went on for a couple of hours, and my cervix was still only 2 cm dilated, so I ended up getting an epidural because I could not have handled those contractions for another hour, let alone the 8 more hours or so that nurses predicted the my cervix would need to hit the 10 cm mark.

So my dumb questions: is it "normal" to have contractions that are ridiculously intense and close together, without much cervical effacement? Am I just a total wimp for not being able to stand labor? Or is this probably a function of the fact that this was an induction, and a very early one at that? I'm going to ask my doc, but I'm curious about BTDT moms' experiences with contraction spacing and dilation.

When I got to the hospital I was 4 cm and contracting about every 5-6 minutes, they had been getting closer together for about 12 hours (they started about 15 min apart the evening before). They were tough but bearable. Over the next 5 hours they stayed about the same between but got much more intense and I only dialated another cm. Soon after that I got my epi and they decided to break my water because the contractions were starting to exhaust me and they wanted me to be be strong enough to push him out. After they broke my water I was fully dialated and ready to push in about 2 hours. DS was born 45 minutes later.

emmycakes1010

@ejz98ric02‌ no advice on when to book the flight (FTM here) but if you can, try to book southwest. Southwest is the best if you need to change travel plans. Most other airlines will charge an arm and a leg to rebook. I've rebooked southwest flights several times with no fees. Good luck!!

RJGmommy

With baby #1 I slept terribly, had awful back ache and just could not get comfy. I woke up in the morning and had lost my mucus plug and had some blood. Freaked out called the doctor who asked how I felt, and I told him I had awful back ache. It did not click that the back ache was actually labor. I had baby number 1 vaginally and was up and about and felt fine afterwards.

Baby # 2 I went into labor at work. I left work and started to time the contractions they were in front this time. Back labor sucked. They didn't hurt too bad. I drove home, my husband got home then we dropped off DS and walked the mall for 2 hours. I had a vaginal birth with him and was up and about and feeling fine.

Baby # 3. I was induced. They started the pitocin and then the doctor came in to break my water. She broke it and says I don't think that's a head it feel but a butt! So baby #3 was a c-section. Before they got me to the OR my contractions had kicked in even though the stopped the pitocin. Those contractions definetly felt much more intense and painful than when I was contracting on my own with # 1 and # 2. My c-sec was a harder recovery but it was not horrid. I was up and about just sore. I definetly felt it if I did too much,

I guess just listen to your body and if in doubt call your doctor. What's the worst they can do? Send you home. I never had my water break with all 3, the doctors did it. So don't expect that to be your absolute sign. Remember too you might not have the expected contracts in the front.

kjuryfl

snowbigdeal said:

Background for my stupid question: my previous L&D experience involved an induction at 33 weeks. I was not dilated at all and they gave me a few doses of pitocin and cervidil. Contractions ended up starting very suddenly, were very intense, and moved to about 1 minute apart very quickly. This went on for a couple of hours, and my cervix was still only 2 cm dilated, so I ended up getting an epidural because I could not have handled those contractions for another hour, let alone the 8 more hours or so that nurses predicted the my cervix would need to hit the 10 cm mark.

So my dumb questions: is it "normal" to have contractions that are ridiculously intense and close together, without much cervical effacement? Am I just a total wimp for not being able to stand labor? Or is this probably a function of the fact that this was an induction, and a very early one at that? I'm going to ask my doc, but I'm curious about BTDT moms' experiences with contraction spacing and dilation.

Pitocin can create intense contractions. During my induction I was 4cm at the beginning but not in active labor. They gave pitocin and the contractions were pretty much immediate and intense (especially once my water was broken). They got too intense and they turned off the pitocin since my body got the cue and was progressing just fine. Pretty much as soon as they turned off the pitocin I went from 5-10cm in less than a half hour and my daughter was born a half hour later.

LMurphy207

Thanks for all the info guys!!

LMurphy207

RHoPA1109 said:

It's Monday, but I have a dumb question:  before breastfeeding, do you wipe down the boob? Clean it?  Anything?  It feels kind of counterintuitive shoving my possibly dirty skinbag into another human's mouth.  I wash my hands before I eat finger foods, so that's kind of my logic here.  Not that my boobs make nearly as much contact with things as my hands do, but there's still sweat, bacteria, etc.

Holy crap! I never even thought of that! Here's a quick shot answer I found. I feel like I need to google the hell out of this now.

whippoorwill3

RHoPA1109 said:

It's Monday, but I have a dumb question:  before breastfeeding, do you wipe down the boob? Clean it?  Anything?  It feels kind of counterintuitive shoving my possibly dirty skinbag into another human's mouth.  I wash my hands before I eat finger foods, so that's kind of my logic here.  Not that my boobs make nearly as much contact with things as my hands do, but there's still sweat, bacteria, etc.

I never did when I was nursing my daughter. Maybe if someone with an infectious disease touched or coughed directly on my nipple?