?

broehl85

girlymama79

You shouldn't of asked your mil on the first place. That was rude.

carolyngrace

I get why you asked her... sounds like she typically has thrown the baby showers for women in the family. Maybe she implied she would at some point? Anyway, it's family and I'm sure she'll move on even if she was offended that you asked.

To answer your question, I would want to invite DH's side of the family as well as my friends. If it's already going to be big, then just only invite really close friends. Otherwise if a friend offers to throw you a shower, maybe you can have a separate shower for friends. 

You could always give your mom some of the money from your MIL to pay for the shower if that's really a concern. But showers don't have to cost a lot of money. 

Sugarbean17

What your MIL did for your SIL should be different than what she would do for you because it was for her daughter. So it really does make sense. If your mother wants to host a baby shower for you then that is great! I would still invite DH family as many of them as you would have invited if your MIL would have thrown the shower. Also it's the hosts job to do the inviting...I think. But I wouldn't take it personally. Your MIL shouldn't always be the party person. Also if she wants to offer you a check, gift or whatever it would be a little rude to not accept it graciously. That's my opinion. I would never expect the same treatment from my MIL that my SIL receives.

Edit for poor spelling

broehl85

It was not her daughter. Just an FYI I didn't put there in there. It's her other son's wife. 

ooopswediditagain

I can definitely see why you would be offended. It would be okay to just have one for your side of the family if you were more comfortable but it might be best to just invite his immediate family as well.
PP is correct they don't have to be expensive.

Sugarbean17

broehl85 said:

It was not her daughter. Just an FYI I didn't put there in there. It's her other son's wife. 

Okay I could see where the issue would come from then. That being said though if she didn't offer a shower then she didn't offer. It is kind of against etiquette to ask or assume someone will throw you a shower.

Also your mom could always see if she would be willing to co-host the shower?

Trampslikeus

Any chance she planned to surprise you and that got ruined when it was brought up? Or that she was a little put off it was just expected she was hosting it?

Whenever a recipient of a shower brings up the shower, especially with a tone of expectation, it's bound to make some people feel uncomfortable. At least consider that as a possibility?

Let your mom plan it, invite MIL as though this convo never happened, and have your mom discuss the invite list with MIL over email/phone. If your mom is paying, she gets to set the budget and number of guests. If your MIL gets pissy about that but doesn't offer to pitch in/contribute than that's unreasonable, but If you stay out of it, which you should regardless, there won't be any drama for you to deal with.

leenziepops

Noone QFP 'ed! I dont understand what made OP DD.

girlymama79

Wow.

sammyca

Why did she DD?? I officially don't get people.


ETA: I saw the original post. All she was given was responses to her questions.

girlymama79

sammyca said:

Why did she DD?? I officially don't get people.

Beats me.

ombradellarosa

WHY did no one QFP? We just talked about this, guys! Sigh. Not that I blame you. I just hate missing out  

stinybean

So strange that this was DD'ed and I hate when titles are changed to punctuation it's so hard to click when mobile

leenziepops

stinybean said:

So strange that this was DD'ed and I hate when titles are changed to punctuation it's so hard to click when mobile

I hate it when it's just a full stop and I need to make at least 3 attempts with my pinky just to click the damn dot!

stinybean

I'm going to just keep posting until this becomes a two pager. It's a lot easier to click on page numbers than punctuation.

stinybean

Two pages Please

stinybean

Two....two... two

taboullio84

I am always late for the party

carolyngrace

This is SO not worth making into two pages. She basically said that her DH asked her MIL about details for the shower. And MIL has thrown huge showers for other events (such as SIL's baby shower and OP's wedding shower). MIL declined to throw the shower and said she'd rather give them some money to help with baby things. Her question was who she should invite if her sister/mom throw the shower instead.

Seriously, that was it. No idea why she ran away after our helpful responses. 

mommacandi

So bizarre. If this thread caused a DD, and you can understand why, this is not the place for you. Everyone was helpful and thoughtful in their responses. And I was disappointed that this is all it turned out to be...I was expecting to click on the question mark and embark on a shit show.

AndasKnits

I dont think anyone thought about doing a QFP because IMO it wasn't a crazy snowflake question.
Guess OP is very sensitive and didn't like the real answers she got



Edited because it's early and words are hard

KonaCoffeeBean

carolyngrace said:

This is SO not worth making into two pages. She basically said that her DH asked her MIL about details for the shower. And MIL has thrown huge showers for other events (such as SIL's baby shower and OP's wedding shower). MIL declined to throw the shower and said she'd rather give them some money to help with baby things. Her question was who she should invite if her sister/mom throw the shower instead.

Seriously, that was it. No idea why she ran away after our helpful responses. 

She/her husband asked about a shower that had not even been offered? Entitled much?

girlymama79

KonaCoffeeBean said:

carolyngrace said:

This is SO not worth making into two pages. She basically said that her DH asked her MIL about details for the shower. And MIL has thrown huge showers for other events (such as SIL's baby shower and OP's wedding shower). MIL declined to throw the shower and said she'd rather give them some money to help with baby things. Her question was who she should invite if her sister/mom throw the shower instead.

Seriously, that was it. No idea why she ran away after our helpful responses. 

She/her husband asked about a shower that had not even been offered? Entitled much?


Edit quote fail


Exactly.

Trampslikeus

I think she only wanted all of us to tell her what a bitch her MIL was for not saying "of course I'll host you an extravagant shower on the exact date you ASKED ME to"? She mentioned that MIL throws "huge parties" like 2 or 3 different times.

AndasKnits

Trampslikeus said:

I think she only wanted all of us to tell her what a bitch her MIL was for not saying "of course I'll host you an extravagant shower on the exact date you ASKED ME to"? She mentioned that MIL throws "huge parties" like 2 or 3 different times.

This ^^^

taboullio84

#-o

mmo2112

These were the most mild and polite responses to a baby shower post I've ever seen.

If I had mastered the mobile gif, there would be a very confused face right about here...