A year ago...

MCH77

A year ago I went to a normal OB appointment, only to discover my son no longer had a HB. I still can't believe that I survived the last year. How?

I think my biggest regret was not birthing him. I choose to do a D&E (he was measuring just under 22w so it was an option). I can't believe I never saw his face. Maybe it's for the best. I don't know.

I just can't believe it's been a year and life just keeps going. I hate feeling like everyone has forgotten him, yet there isn't a day I don't think of him.

I'm sorry if this is a mess. I just needed a safe place to unload. Thank you ladies for all your support- you are really amazing.

ikrystal

**ticker warning**

I am so sorry.  I know the milestones are so hard, too - our boys just had their first birthday in heaven last week.  Sending love and support to you. 

CheesyPeas

I'm so sorry.  Sending my ((hugs)) and love to you and Timothy.

MCH77

Thanks girls for letting me get that off my chest. I wrote that in the middle of my big cry today.

stefuge

So many big ((hugs)). Nothing about loss and grief is easy. I hate the regret and guilt the most - I remind myself often to forgive myself for decisions made on the worst day of my life. It's not easy though.

lexusolsen

I'm so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of you and your family today.

OSUWifey09

***siggy***

It's been awhile since I've been around, but just wanted to post and send some hugs your way. Timothy certainly has not been forgotten, and he never will be.

Mel&John2013

****siggy

You never have to apologize for getting your feelings out here, that's what we're here for.

I can't imagine what it's like to know a whole year has passed, and I'm sending lots of hugs your way as you get through this week. 

As for your doubts, I think it's normal to wonder and question. But you did what was best for your family at the time and no one can question that.

bunnybun4

***siggy***

 

big ((hugs))...I chose a D&E too and sometimes I start to second guess myself for not being strong enough to go through labor, etc.  Then I just remind myself at how devastated/in shock I was and that that was the best decision I could make at the time to keep myself sane.  It sucks never getting to actually see her but at the same time I can remember the sweet little wiggly baby I always saw on the ultrasound.  You did what you had to do and he loves you for that. 

Thinking about timothy today.

shandorfml2

*siggy

Big, big hugs mama. Thinking of you and Timothy today

Morena Mama

I am so sorry for the loss of Timothy. Big hugs to you!

Bgirma

Hugs to you and your family.

Littleowl913

((hugs)). It's hard not to second guess ourselves but as @bunnybun4 said, you made the best decision for yourself at that time. 

jonahsma

Im a little late but I wanted to let you know that You and Timothy are in my t&p's.

It's hard to believe that a year has gone by when it only feels like yesterday. I also struggle with the regret of not birthing Emily( we also chose a D&E) Im so sorry you feel this way ((hugs))