"I know"

kcisthebombdotcom

How do I break this habit? When I ask dd to label things in her environment (like colors, shapes) I sometimes don't get a response even if it's something she knows well. When I provide the answer she says I know.

CaptainSerious

I'm not sure if it's the same thing, but J will tell me "I know" even when we are.introducing a new concerns pt or after getting it wrong. In those situations, I tell him, "No, you don't know. Let me explain."

Similarly, he'll say, "I forgot" after getting something wrong. Since we are working on not arguing or lying, I tell him, "No, you didn't forget. You didn't know. And that's okay." Then I explain.

kcisthebombdotcom

bubba2b said:

DD does this and there are times that I know she knows and other times I am not sure if she knows. Know what I mean.

We used some Sabotage technique when dd was in EI before 3. Maybe something along those lines.

Also she is 5...maybe there is a developmental piece here?

She just turned four. My son is five. What do you mean by sabotaging?

kcisthebombdotcom

-auntie- said:

Why are you doing this?

Is this some sort of directive from her team? What do that think about her alternatively blowing you off and then claiming to know the answer. 

Or is this something you feel would be enriching for her? Or to meet other goals?

Maybe I'm bringing DS's personality to this, but he always felt these sorts of drills were sort of a waste of his time; if you know she knows something, why ask? would be his reaction. 

I expect the "I know" might be related to anxiety around not appearing to be dumb. A lot of brighter kids on spectrum place a lot of value on their cognitive abilities and academic prowess. A lot of parents take an almost compensatory pride in the areas where their child does well (who wouldn't?) and reinforce the behavior.

It's more of a game than a drill. Example--when we are sitting in carpool line and the busses are pulling up I'll ask "can you tell me what letter is on that bus?" Or asking what colors the leaves on the tree are in the fall when they're many different colors, etc

kcisthebombdotcom

I really like the idea of open ended questions and should make that part of carpool time.

One of her struggles is answering when a question is being posed. She's pretty consistent in responding to her name and following the corresponding direction. If it's something she verbally has to answer outside of yes/no it's less consistent. It's hit or miss-sometimes she will answer things I didn't even realize she got while other times she won't answer things she mastered years ago.

hopecounts

How is she with WH questions?

Is she competent with them or are they an emerging skill?

If she is iffy on questions she may be avoiding and downplaying that by going the "I Know' route possibly because she does know but 'translating' the question "WHat color are the leaves' etc may be a struggle but she does know so when you answer she is telling you the truth she knows that, with a little bit of 'duh mom' thrown in. 

How long do you give her to answer? Have you tried waiting an uncomfortable amount of time to let her respond? This might be a way to test it out if you wait and don't answer see what she does, if after a while she answers then it may be she is just needing more time to process the WH question so she can respond. If she just ignores you she may just not like being drilled.

The open ended questions are a good idea either way!