February 2013 Moms

The Bump Guidelines

We are excited to announce the new Guide to Our Do’s and Don’ts for The Bump Community. We hope this guide will help you have an even better experience on The Bump. Our Guide has information to help you meet people, join existing conversations and get advice on Community etiquette. Please take a moment to familiarize yourself with the Guide. Please note, the Guide does not change our amazing moderators’ activities here at The Bump. 

Please continue to share your experiences, dreams and concerns — and to give advice and support to other Bumpies who *really* understand what you are going through. 

We have some terrific plans for new features, discussions and perspectives here at The Bump, and we look forward to sharing all  this information with you. Please take some time tonight and over the next few days to review the guidelines. We welcome any questions you may have, and will be online tomorrow morning to answer them.

Community Guidelines

Welcome to The Bump; we hope you have a great experience in our Community Forums. 
We created The Bump Community so women (and guys -- we have forums for dads too!) can connect with others who are going through what you’re going through -- or who’ve gone through it and have advice and perspectives to share. Think of it like a community where you can find friendships and even a support group, where you can share as much and as little as you want to, or need to -- but remember that all your posts are public.

What’s The Bump Community?  

The Bump’s Community is like a fantastic park with lots of interesting, exciting and informative sections -- many of them will catch your eye and you’ll want to spend some time there, although some of them won’t. 
Every forum in our Community has its own history and culture -- and sometimes its own language! To help you navigate and find the best spots for you, we’ve created a little guide to help you find your way around.
  
How To Be A Great Bumpie:

Every forum at The Bump is different from the others. Read the first few pages of posts to get a feel for each forum, and then focus on the do’s and avoid the don’t’s:

  • DO use (some of) the 72 hours between registration and posting in the community to get familiar with the forums. 
  • DO read current threads -- and older threads too!
  • But please don’t automatically post a reply on a thread that hasn’t had any responses in weeks or months, especially on our Loss and Infertility related boards. Reactivating an old thread can resurface painful memories for current board members. Instead start a new thread of your own on the topic. 
  • DO use our Community Search [http://global.thebump.com/search/default.aspx] to find curated collections of information and articles by staffers, doctors and experts, as well as posts by other Bumpies on the topic you have a question about.  
  • DO introduce yourself with a sentence or two in your first two or three posts on a forum that’s new to you. 
  • DO add your biographical info into your Signature and customize your avatar. 
  • But please don’t promote your business in your intro, avatar or Signature; that’s spam and it’s not allowed on The Bump’s forums.
  • DO familiarize yourself with the Glossary of Terms [http://pregnant.thebump.com/extras/the-bump-community-extras/articles/community-glossary.aspx], which is full of community acronyms and lingo -- it's a great way to get a feel for a forum's culture. 
  • DO join a Birth Month board if you’re pregnant or a parent; Birth Month boards are great, and you might find a community that's forming or growing. 
  • But please don't ask if we think you’re pregnant or post your pee stick -- these are other members just like you, not doctors. Each woman’s pregnancy is unique and while Bumpies have great info and emotional support, only your medical professionals can confirm a pregnancy or diagnose issues. 
  • DO check out the other forums, too! The Bump is a large and diverse community with a lot of lively boards and conversations. You’ll find the one for you!
  • DO click the LOVE IT! button if someone’s advice, information or story helps you, or you find it funny, informative or supportive. 
  • DO bookmark the community page and check it regularly. It’s ever changing. 
  • DO take time to make acquaintances and enjoy turning those relationships into true friendships. 
  • DO comment kindly if an original poster (OP) or a responder is seeking emotional support during a loss or difficult moment.
  • But please don’t feel like you have to comment in every forum, on every thread and to every post. It's okay to skip or ignore a thread if you have nothing constructive, relevant or supportive to contribute. 
  • DO encourage newer or uncomfortable users to join in and become part of the community; we recognize that not every person is destined to become best of friends or have shared interests or focuses, but the community thrives when we try not to haze or harass others -- or see every disagreement or different opinion as a personal attack or slight. 
  • DO respect the feelings and opinions of other members. The Bump fosters a global community of every age, race, philosophy, sexual orientation, culture, sex and gender (yes, dads are here too!).
  • DO keep in mind that you might not get the exact answer you're hoping for - and please don't let that upset you; remember that you can read thousands of conception [http://pregnant.thebump.com/getting-pregnant.aspx], pregnancy [http://pregnant.thebump.com/pregnancy.aspx] and parenting [http://pregnant.thebump.com/new-mom-new-dad.aspx] topics from articles on The Bump [http://thebump.com] too.
  • DO welcome constructive disagreement and refrain from getting upset if someone is of a differing opinion. Healthy and respectful debates thrive on The Bump, and disagreement does not constitute harassment.
  • But please don’t engage in hazing, trolling or cyberbullying.
  • DO flag comments or reach out to a moderator or administrator if you see anything that is grounds for an automatic ban [link to this, inline, or say “see below”]. 
  • DO report posts that include harassment directed at you or a group you are a part of (ie ethnic group, religion, gender) or that violate the community rules; report the post by clicking on the flag. 
  • But please don’t click the “Report” button because you disagree with what someone wrote. This feature is a Report A Terms of Use Violation button, not a "dislike" button. At least one moderator will review any flagged post. The individual who reports a post will not be informed of the outcome of the mod review unless it involves her private and personally identifying information. 
  • DO keep private messages private, unless you are sharing it with a moderator or administrator.
  • But please don’t complain about reposts or crossposts. Other members may not have had the same opportunity to read it.  And, naturally some conversations simply fit into two different forums. A link to the previously answered question might be more productive than a complaint about it. 


Our Terms of Use contains general information about The Bump’s rules, but the Community has its own rules and guidelines. While we have some offenses that result in instant bans, generally if you violate the Terms of Use, a moderator will issue a Warning. As of January 1, 2015, three warnings within six months will get you banned from The Bump; one or two warnings will have no effect on your Bump-community participation.

PLEASE DON’T:
  • Personally attack other members. This includes:
    • Hazing new members
    • Swearing at another member to deliberately hurt or offend her/him
    • Using gifs or memes in a harassing manner in public posts or Private Messages (PMs)
    • Publicly putting down posts, questions or Bumpies or engaging in harassment -- whether directly or indirectly. If a post violates the site Rules or Guidelines, please click on the Report This Post flag; the mods will see that more efficiently than a comment on the thread.
  • Share private personally identifying information of any sort, whether it be your own or another member’s (regardless if you have their permission). If you share your own information, it is at your own risk; if you share someone else’s private, personally identifying information, it may be a violation of our Terms of Use.
  • Post any links to surveys, your research questions (we do not help with your homework), your referral links, your gofundme, your Patreon or any other link that benefits you in a monetary way, without the prior written consent of The Bump. 
  • Block moderators. They are here to help, and blocking could prevent you from receiving valuable information about the site and any issues with your posts or account.
  • Recruit members to leave The Bump to join another community. However, if someone needs information that is not found on TB, it is okay to direct them elsewhere in a helpful manner.

What are grounds for automatic banning?
  • Trolling:
    • Consistently responding to threads solely to put down the original poster or responders
    • Discussing and identifying any other member’s private and personally identifying information after being told not to by either an admin, a moderator, or the individual in question
  • Advertising or promoting your (or your family's or friends' ) business, forthcoming or in-progress medical study, editorials or content for other sites or any sort of spam; please contact our advertising team at [link] to learn how to advertise at The Bump.
  • Impersonating a site moderator or advertiser
  • Ban dodging


While we can’t come up with examples of all the types of posts that are personal attacks, here’s some examples of things that are -- and ways to phrase things so they aren’t. 


Personal attack: The members of the _________ board are a bunch of crazies.
Not a personal attack: I was reading the _________ board and I don’t understand the desire to focus on.....
Not a personal attack: I really hated the movie I saw last week, ___________, and I can’t understand why anyone enjoyed it.

Personal attack: Member X posted this thread about ____________. She's such an idiot.
Not a personal attack: The ___________ forum isn’t the right place to post about ___________. You might want to find another forum for that. 
Not a personal attack: Recently IRL a mom I saw did something that I really didn't agree with. How would you have reacted to......

Personal attack: I think you’re an asshole.
Personal attack: I think you’re acting like an asshole.
Not a personal attack: I think your comments and actions are rude and inappropriate. You’re being unfair.
Report as a TOS violation if: Someone is being racist, homophobic, sexist or cruel; you don’t need to call them out on the forums and risk them turning on you. Let us know so we can get them off the forums.

Personal attack: Fuck off.
If you feel the need to speak to someone in this manner, that means it’s time to step away from the thread or contact a moderator or admin.

What do moderators do?
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