CIO

Linzr0723

When did you all decide to try cio? I don't mean the full on cry it out, but for 5 minutes at at time, etc. I have a 22 month old and the most I did with her is 5 minutes at a time and it took her a while but she's a great sleeper now (12-13 hours a night) and now I have a 4 month old who will at the most do 4 hours then wake every 1 1/2-2 hours a night. I know he's still young and on top of of it all could be going through the 4 month wakeful period, but thought about trying to let him cry a little. When did you start? I'm just tired and thought my daughter was tough but at least she could do 6-8 hours at this point.

Linzr0723

I definitely agree- 4 months is too young to leave them crying for long periods of time and like I said I never had the nerve to do it even when my daughter was 6 months or older.  By 5 minutes at a time, I meant after 5 minutes go in and try and sooth him and then leave again...and repeat.  I definitely am not expecting him to sleep through the night, knowing how long it took with my daughter (I started with low expectations but didn't expect it to be this bad) and how poorly he is sleeping now, I guess I am just wishing for the first stretch to be longer then 2-4 hours, because after that, it is anywhere from 90 minutes 2 hours.  

He will eat an ounce usually, sometimes 2 when he wakes up, but it does not matter if he ate 10oz throughout the day or 20...

ashiscute

What you're describing is like the Ferber method of progressive waiting. I think four months is too young. I don't think waiting an initial 5 minutes to go in and check is a problem. However, if after 5 minutes your LO is still crying I'd go in and try to comfort him and get him back to sleep. I'd give it a couple more months before doing a Ferber like CIO method.

dal2aus

Nicb13 said:

Try not to compare your 2 kids although I know that's hard NOT to do. 4 months is way too young to leave crying for long periods of time IMO.

When my 3 month old wakes up fussing, I give her a minute or 2 to see if she settles down or seems like she's going to but if she's full on crying, I go get her.

You're right, your LO could be going through the 4 month wakeful and lots of babies don't STTN at 4 months old so try not to get frustrated that your LO wakes a lot.

Does he seem hungry when he wakes in the night? Does he eat?

I 2nd this.  Having twins with distinct personalities has turned my life into a real-world child psychology lab.  I'm realizing that STTN has as much to do with the baby's temperament as it does parenting decisions.  Peanut is now waking only once per night, while Moonpie is waking every two hours.  We feed and nap them on the same schedule.  As much as I wish I could take credit for Peanut's STTN, it's really in keeping with his personality.  Since the day they were born, he's always been the more chill baby, while Moonpie is more alert and expressive.  I think there are things we can do to sabotage or encourage good sleep, but for the most part they'll STTN when they're ready.

poofwok

I wouldn't do full out CIO until 6 months old. Currently we are doing the pick up/ put down method. It's working really well for us.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Linzr0723

Thanks everyone!  We had our 4 month check up on Friday (about a week and a half after he turned 4 months) and I had a good talk with the doctor to try and help.  He said based on his weight (13.8 and any babies over 12lbs) should be able to go 6 hours without eating, so he suggested when he wakes up around that 3-4 hour mark like he has been doing after going to bed, just offer his pacifier as many times as it is needed and after a few nights he will break the habit of waking up 3-4 hours after bedtime.  We did this Friday and Saturday and he woke up 3 hours after bedtime but just took his pacifier once and slept another 2.5-3 hours!  So, it was going well...and then last night he would not stop trying to roll over in his rock n play, so I had to move him to the crib and all that progress went out the window  we were up about ever 45 minutes to 2 hours.  Oh well...

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Linzr0723

Just wanted to share my experience with the older babies eating in the night (my daughter is 23 months)...We were terrible with my daughter and stopping with the bottle after a year because we believed she needed it because she was chugging 6-12oz throughout the night.  Recently we just decided it needed to stop because she was too old for it...she was literally so much in the habit, we would turn the lights off and she would point to the chair we feed her and then point to the bottle.  She was still waking up at least once, at times twice a night.  So, the first night I sat with her in the chair and she kept pointing where the bottle would usually be sitting, but I just rocked her for a minute and then put her in the crib and she wasn't very happy and woke up once throughout the night and my husband did the same thing.  The next night she pointed but went in her crib and was asleep 5 minutes later and has not asked for it since then and has been sleeping through the night finally. I truly believe we let it become a habit and left it for too long...luckily she got it over it pretty quickly and adjusted when she took in her calories and everyone sleeps better now (7pm-7:30am)- I wish we had done it sooner!

Linzr0723

Nicb13 said:

Linzr0723 said:

Just wanted to share my experience with the older babies eating in the night (my daughter is 23 months)...We were terrible with my daughter and stopping with the bottle after a year because we believed she needed it because she was chugging 6-12oz throughout the night.  Recently we just decided it needed to stop because she was too old for it...she was literally so much in the habit, we would turn the lights off and she would point to the chair we feed her and then point to the bottle.  She was still waking up at least once, at times twice a night.  So, the first night I sat with her in the chair and she kept pointing where the bottle would usually be sitting, but I just rocked her for a minute and then put her in the crib and she wasn't very happy and woke up once throughout the night and my husband did the same thing.  The next night she pointed but went in her crib and was asleep 5 minutes later and has not asked for it since then and has been sleeping through the night finally. I truly believe we let it become a habit and left it for too long...luckily she got it over it pretty quickly and adjusted when she took in her calories and everyone sleeps better now (7pm-7:30am)- I wish we had done it sooner!

Older kids yes, might be out of habit, but I don't see why someone would wean a 5-6 month old off a MOTN bottle when they probably still need it at that point. Whatever, I don't know other people's kids!


I was actually bringing this up because of Pinkie...nothing to do with 5-6 months old. I agree with you...hence why my daughter was fed throughout the night for so long. Just saying when they are older, in my experience, it's habit.

With all that being said- I think we all do what we feel works and is best for our individual kids...everyone on here has great advice from their own experiences and I appreciate that! I just wanted to share what we went through with my daughter (who again is now 23 months). I woke up with her anywhere from 2-4 times a night for the first 15 months of her life I'd say because if she was hungry, I was going to feed her...everyone has their different opinion on that.

Linzr0723

They definitely are! I am seeing how different even my two kids are from each other and know what worked for me may not necessarily work for someone else (or even my second child), but always interested to hear others stories. Hope you're getting good sleep now! I think I'm doomed for a while!

Lskypeck

@bunniears‌ how does the pick up put down method work? How long do you pick up for? Do you stay in the room?

PrimRoseMama

I tried very briefly with my daughter at 9 months . Epic epic fail & I only let my son fuss for 2 minutes at a time. CIO just doesn't work for their temperaments & more importantly-- I can't take it. It physically makes us all ill. It never worked anyway.

So I choose the wait it out method. They always STTN when they are able & it was significantly less stressful for our family.

It works for some but it's a definite no-go here. I don't recommend it based on my experiences, but I have mom friends that do it & have done it.

You have to trust your mom instincts.

themrs83

Nicb13 said:

ShkagoBride said:

My pedi said that 4 months is just fine to CIO- as long as they aren't hungry.  So, if they're up after an hour- most likely not hungry just need help soothing. But 4-5 hours or more they might be.

The methodology piece is up to you.  We were a CIO family, although my son never needed more than 15 minutes to soothe himself, I think our DD is a different story.  You have to do what works for you and remember that a well rested family is a happy family. 

Our daughter is the same way with her wakefulness, but she's still swaddled.  I don't feel comfortable having her CIO until she can find her hands, thumb, paci to soothe.  What are your instincts as the parent? I know my DD is reliant on us to soothe for now, but we will help her learn how to self soothe, soon enough.  Every family is different.

This is BS IMO. Sometime my DD will wake up after an hour and suck down 6 more ounces. I know every child is different but a 3 or 4 month old shouldn't be left to cry for any amount of time. Awful.

And that "well rested family" line makes me cringe, especially when talking about leaving a little baby to cry so YOU can get sleep.

Agree. I can't do CIO. I can't handle it. My middle child didn't STTN until 2 1/2. Even though a couple Drs suggested it, it wasn't for us. It stresses me out more than being tired.