Are you ever truly ready for child #2?

sweetp83

My husband and I are struggling with the thought of child #2.  We always had planned on two children two years apart.  Our son is 15 months now and we feel like we should be working on #2.  I guess it is all the same fears you have before the first one.  I feel like I want to get things done/organized around the house first, worried about money, worried about balancing two kids and work.  We keep going over timing and are we ready or is there a better time or are we Ok with just one (but we both would like our son to have a sibling).  Sorry for the back and forth but this is really how my mind is bouncing!  How did you know you were ready or did you have the same internal battles? 

rspalding001

I think there will always be nervousness to some degree. If you are both thinking about it its probably a good idea to start trying. Remember you will have 40 weeks to get everything organized around the house an dyour money situation figured out it will work itself out.

ashiscute

Not really but I found out #2 was coming the week before DD turned 1.  There is no requirement that your children need to be 2 years apart.  If you don't feel comfortable getting pregnant right now wait a couple months and reevaluate how you feel.  There is no perfect age gap between children.  Just what feels right to you guys.  

erinmc1

I used to think that we wanted two.  And then we adopted our son, and while we'd like him to have a sibling, the truth is that our family feels complete.  And that's ok.  I struggled with giving up on the IDEA of another child, but we had a lot of the same concerns you do, coupled with the challenges adoption presents.  So we decided that we are quite comfortable with just being a family of 3.  

HarleyKins

Not sure myself but we have less than 3 weeks to go so.... I guess we'll see! DD will be 21 months older than her upcoming sister.

Bleebebebebe

I think it's normal to question all of that but unless its REALLY got you anxious or you know without a doubt that you can't handle it for one reason or another then right now is as good a time as any!

Designermomma

We always knew we wanted 2 I just wasn't sure on the timing but we started trying when DS1 was 2 when it felt right. It took us over 3 years to have another so there is a 5 year gap. DS2 is such an easier baby than DS1 was its got me thinking of a 3rd! I'm not young (36) so my time is running out. We will try in a year maybe and if it happens, it happens, if not, it wasn't meant to be.

kattiedid

I always thought that I wanted two children and I wanted them two years apart. But when I met my husband and I got pregnant with our daughter my husband decided that we would not have anymore kids, he is a little older than I am so I went along with him. But no matter what plans we make the Lord has a better one for us. Our daughter will turn 16 in March and our surprise little boy just turned 1 in December.  I praise the Lord for knowing what was best for us.. It is great that I got to have my little girl and she got to be an only child for so long and now she loves having her little brother, and I love  geting to start all over.

MattysGirl81

Our boys are nearly 4 years apart and I am SO happy with the distance. DH was adamant on having them 4 years apart, I would have been happy with 2-3 years. In hindsight, the 4 year gap is great. My older son is now in kindergarten so I have lots of time with DS2. I feel like I got to really enjoy his childhood and now I'm able to enjoy DS2's childhood as well. My older one is also more self-sufficient so I don't feel like 2 kids are totally depending on me for everything.

When the timing was right we were both ready to start trying. If you're not feeling it yet, put it off 6 months and revisit. There's no need to rush it.

SharonB222

I start thinking about trying for another when I am getting more sleep.  It happened around 13 mo the first time, and now at 14 mo ~ maybe.  BUT I would like to be more rested (and caught up, similar to what you wrote), e.g. a 3 yr separation or so, but b/c of circumstances (IF/RPL, age) we "rushed" it for #2 (e.g. DS b. when DD 2yr 4m).  Again, I'd like more separation for a potential (unlikely) #3, but circumstances are the same (IF/RPL, more age)... so... it won't be in the next 3 mos, but maybe in 6 mos... if I were brave I'd wait another year, but just don't feel we have that time, then again -from experience- I know that as soon as I get more sleep and a couple major things cleaned up - I might be writing in less than 2 months how I am soooo ready.

Stephorse

I got pregnant with number 2 when DS was 8 months old! I was scared because I was out of work and how are we going to handle this? Well needless to say we had number 2 and it was rough at first, not going to lie. But it was easier this time because we knew what we were doing! I am now working and now my DH is staying home and we are loving it! DS 1 now refers to DS 2 has his friend! They love to play together and laugh now that DS 2 is 1. I love that they are going to be close just as my husband and his brothers are. I'm now glad we had number 2 when we did and now we're trying to figure out when to have number 3. Sometimes you just need to jump in. It'll be hard at first, but it's definitly mostly easier than it was the first time.

ashleyorm

We are thinking of trying for baby #2 in the fall.  My LO is just a year now and thinking that will be a good gap.  I don't want to leave it too late in case it does take a long time to get pregnant the second time around.  You can't plan for that.

KatieBride06

For us, i feel like we have to be ready if we are ever going to have another. And that's due to infertility. I don't want to waste time and beat around the bush. Son just turned a year and we are starting IVF for 2nd baby with next cycle! Yikes!!!!
My fear is 2 kids under 2/3 and will i be able to mentally/physically/etc continue working. Financially we could do it.

LilyGR

I don't know. DD is 13 months old, and I thought I would be ready, and some days I am, but most of the time I feel happy to wait a bit longer. My husband and I want to wait until we are both sure that we feel ready.

giavanna0712

I am 11 weeks along with #2 and my son is 16.5 months.. I am panicked some days at the amount of energy I expel with just him but I know people do this all the time, and being an older mama (39 when second is born) I felt we didnt have a lot of time to make a decision, so we went for it and here we are.  Right now, being tired and nauseous most days I worry a lot more, but I know that will pass and when the new one is here, we will rally like everyone does.  I just dont think, like the first one, you are ever prepared in every single way. The love and attention you give them does wonders so that is all that matters in my world

lopezalonso

DD is 13mo old and one week after her first bday I found out I was expecting -- I'm now 7wks along. We had always planned on two and thought that maybe we would start trying in the fall as I'm scheduled to start a new job in August and wanted to qualify for FMLA. Well... Looks like instead of starting to try in November, we'll be welcoming a baby instead. Honestly, I freaked out and am still kind of freaking out. It's only a few months difference but I wasn't mentally prepared for this. I've assimilated a little better and know it will all work out in the long run. Can't always plan for this stuff.

Flowersbluepink

I don't feel ready for more and I might be potentially facing a fertility issue anyway. I won't know unless I try but I find myself debating what I want. I'm almost 31 and don't like feeling pressured. It's usually total strangers making me feel that way. I'm very happy with one child and pray constantly for his health/happiness. Don't let anyone trick you into thinking that there's a perfect family arrangement. Someone once told me that having no children is better than having only one child. That person straight up made me want to vomit. She also said that she felt sorry for only children. People like that make me feel gratitude for normal people in society   I think you should base your decision on what feels best. If the decision is causing panic hten just wait. I don't subscribe to any of the opinions about age differences. There is no perfect age difference. My closest friend has one sibling 10 years older and they are inseperable.

MattysGirl81

Our boys are nearly 4 years apart. I was definitely ready for #2. The difference has worked very well - I feel like I really got time to enjoy DS1 when he was young, and now he's at school and I have time with DS2. Our older son never had any issues with the baby, wasn't jealous, didn't regress, etc. He's quite helpful and now they're really starting to play together which is adorable. If you're not quite ready now, wait a few more months.