Sleep questions

JuniperGaze

My DD hasn't slept well since she was 3 months old. She usually wakes every 1-3 hours and i can usually only get her back to sleep by nursing. Everything I read says that it is likely over tiredness and that 6 month olds need 11-12 hours of sleep. I've been trying to get her down between 7 and 8 after our bath time routine. We wake up at 6 to get ready so I can drop her off at my moms before work.

So if I bump her bedtime to 6 pm instead of 7, when will I ever see her? I usually don't get home with her until after 5:30. I always end up going to bed at the same time as her because we room share and she's a light sleeper.

What do other working moms do? When are we supposed to spend time with our babies? Will I ever get to spend an evening with my husband?

ariel8200

I was in the same boat, everything I was reading kept saying put her to bed early. I tried that, and it would take an hour for her to fall asleep. I finally gave up and started letting her go to bed at 8. She goes to bed much easier now. She wakes up sometime between 6-7. She usually has 2 wake ups to eat. I do being her into bed with me after the first wake up because I'm tired and can't think straight. She was napping 45 minutes at a time 5 times a day but now she is in daycare and they are able to get her to nap longer (no clue how they do it).

So I get to spend a little time with her in the evening and then with my husband after she is in bed.

Not sure if that answers your question.

Kimmi1982

I could have written this post myself. We are in the same boat. She was a great sleeper until about 15 weeks old, not really sure what happened. I was desperate for some sleep so I brought her in bed with me. My hubs was already sleeping in the guest room on work nights so we didn't wake him when she needed to nurse or he didn't wake us with his alarm. So, fast forward to now, she's still in my bed. It's not ideal, I don't think either one if us sleep as well as we should. We have recently tried to side car her crib. It has not been successful yet. Like your baby , mine wakes every 1-3 hours and on rare occasion I can pop her paci in and get her back to sleep but I'd say 90% of the time I have to nurse her. We did bump bedtime earlier. We start the routine about 5:45 and she starts nursing about 6:00 or so and falls asleep between 6:30 and 7:00. It didn't seem to help the multiple wake ups. Our ped said that around this age they get so distracted and there's more fun things to do during the day than eat, so she may not be getting in enough and may be getting her calories at night. So we tried "tanking" her up during the day. I mean, if I even thought she was the slightest bit hungry, I put her on a boob. We added a second solids helping too, but still, she nursed all night. Sorry for this very long winded reply, and I'm not even sure I answerd your question. As far as spending time with your baby, I'm there too. On work days I hardly see her. Almost as soon as I get home it's time to start bedtime. It sucks. Know you're not alone. And don't be hard on yourself. We're all doing the best we can. You're doing great, mama!

melissaquinn106

As a teacher I'm fortunate enough to be home at 3pm most days. However as of the first week in March I begin coaching the track team and I won't be home until prob 5 or 530. We eat dinner at 6 and she's in bed at 7. While I love coaching, I'm dreading missing out on time with DD. Then on Saturdays I have meets so I'm not home until 3pm the earliest. Wahh. If we didn't need the money I'd definitely give up coaching to spend this precious time with DD.

JuniperGaze

Thanks guys. Tonight I'm going to try to put her in her room until her first wake up then I'll bring her back to my room. I tried the crib before for a few weeks and it was awful. Maybe that's what we need though. So I'm willing to try it again. It's already 7 and I haven't started her routine yet. She took a 2 hour nap in my arms this afternoon. Ugh, our sleep schedule is so messed up!

ariel8200

You're not alone! These sleep issues make me consider sleep training. I read the Ferber book, but I'm just not willing to sleep train yet. I keep thinking things will get better. I'm probably just kidding myself.

BBColt78

I'm a teacher too but get home at 5pm.

My lo goes gets her night bottle at 6pm and sleep right after. We don't see her either. I will say that DD1 did the same thing and eventually you'll be able to push that time back and get more time. Although, DD 1 (3yr) goes to bed at 7pm. We have to do this for them, they need to be up at 6am so I can leave for work at 7.

It's rough, but kids need their sleep. That's my opinion.

JuniperGaze

BBColt78 said:

I'm a teacher too but get home at 5pm.

My lo goes gets her night bottle at 6pm and sleep right after. We don't see her either. I will say that DD1 did the same thing and eventually you'll be able to push that time back and get more time. Although, DD 1 (3yr) goes to bed at 7pm. We have to do this for them, they need to be up at 6am so I can leave for work at 7.

It's rough, but kids need their sleep. That's my opinion.

I agree that kids need their sleep. It's so important for their development and well being. I just want her to sleep and sleep well. I miss her during the week. It kills me that I have to be away all day. I am going to try to get her asleep no later than 6:30-7 this week to see if it helps her. Thanks everyone!

ksspiff

Same here. I was working a 9/80 schedule and was getting home around 6 i time to feed him and put him in bed.

I changed work schedule and am now home by 5. Plus as he gets older bedtime will shift back. And as they get more interactive, the time with them will seem more quality.
That's what happened with my first.

The sad fact is, as working moms, we do miss time with our infants and there is no getting it back because (1) we work (2) american maternity leave is deplorable.
But it will get better and we get more time with our toddlers (1) later bedtimes. (2) more interaction (3) less naps mean more time on the weekend awake together.

Again, we are all doing what is best for our families
~hugs all around ~

KatWAG

I completely understand. I am a working mom also.

However, I am lucky enough to have a nanny so I put LO to sleep at 8 and he is still sleeping when I leave for working in the morning. Morning waking up between 7:30-8am.

I know this is hard to hear. But right now, sleep is more important. I am sorry but I think keeping your child awake longer than she should be,  just to hang out with her, is selfish.

Make the most of your weekends together. At somepoint your LO wont need to sleep as much and you will get more time together.

KatWAG

Also, why do you go to when you LO goes to sleep, if you want more time with your H? If the answer is exhaustion, then I completely understand.

But if your LO is up every few hours, why not wait until her first wake up and go to sleep then? If you put her down at 8 and she wakes up 2 hours later, you get 2 hours alone with your H. And 10pm is a pretty reasonable bedtime. Just a thought.

EllaSmella

I wouldn't beat yourself up over her being overtired. Some kids are just crappy sleepers. As long as you're not keeping her up until 9 or 10pm, I think you're fine.

My first kid didn't sleep more than 2-3 hour stretches until he was a year old. It didn't matter if he went to bed early or late, napped a little or a lot. It was just the way he was.

My second kid sleeps 8-10 hour stretches no matter what I do. Great naps, poor naps. Early or late. It's just the way she is.

The sleep books make it seem like solving the problem of a bad sleeper is just a matter of pulling a few different levers and *VOILA* problem solved. Because they want you to buy the book thinking it will solve your problems. It works for some kids, but it certainly doesn't work for all.

You will have more time in the evenings and time with your husband at some point. It just may not be now. I know that's a crappy answer, but it really is just a season and you will come out the other end, as hard as it is now.

JuniperGaze

KatWAG said:

Also, why do you go to when you LO goes to sleep, if you want more time with your H? If the answer is exhaustion, then I completely understand.

But if your LO is up every few hours, why not wait until her first wake up and go to sleep then? If you put her down at 8 and she wakes up 2 hours later, you get 2 hours alone with your H. And 10pm is a pretty reasonable bedtime. Just a thought.

Just to clarify, I've never kept my daughter up to hangout with her. Her sleep has always trumped me getting sleep. Always.

I go to bed at the same time as her for several reasons. 1. She is a crappy sleeper and wakes up about 30-40 mins after she first falls asleep anyways. She often has several false starts and needs soothing. 2. She is a light sleeper, so instead of going in and out of the room, I just get comfortable so I don't risk waking her up. 3. I'm tired. So if I can get a few Z's before that first wake up, I'm a happy girl!

honeybee434

I don't put my DD to bed until between 8:30-9:30 and then it takes an hour for her to fall asleep at least. Usually she doesn't get up until 8:30-9:30am due to DH's schedule, so it works for us. One day a week she sometimes gets up at 7am with me, but I don't alternate her bedtime.

I get home from work between 5:15-5:30, so this gives me a few hours with her each night.

She also still wakes up 2-3 times a night and getting her to sleep is HORRIBLE. She fights me all the way. I have no idea how to change this anymore, I feel like I've tried it all, so I think she is just a crappy sleeper and I pray she will snap out of it eventually and I will be able to get a decent nights sleep sometime in the future.

3JTMom

Every child needs a different amount of sleep. My second needed a lot less than the first. He would lay away for hours. So I ended up allowing him to go to sleep when he was tired. Eventually, when he was 2, I took away his nap which really helped. Try different things that work with your schedule. Your family is different and will look different from others, that is ok. Hugs mama!!! - Cookin'Quiltin

ADC1979

My LO goes to sleep around 7-7:30 most evenings.  4 days a week, I work till 6pm so I only have a very short time with him, once we get home from daycare.  One day a week, I work till 8:00pm so I don't even see him awake that day.

It sucks, but it is what it is.  LO told us with his fussiness that he needed and earlier bedtime, and we complied.  He's much, much happier getting 11 or so hours of sleep at night.

I do get him out of bed about 10:30pm nightly for a dreamfeed, but he's mostly dozing then so there's not a lot of interaction.  

The early bedtime does make me sad about missing time with him, but on the other hand I have 3ish hours every night of just being an adult (who carries around a baby monitor).  Some nights I get sad that I don't have my little sweetie to snuggle and hang out with since he's sleeping, but other nights it's really nice after work to have some me time to relax.

Sparky65

My LO is having some problems of her own.  She's been a great sleeper until the last week where she's been waking up every so often.  We've swaddled her in her crib and put her to bed every night between 6 and 6:30 and she's awake every single morning by 4, unfortunately.  We've tried pushing her bedtime back to 7 or 7:30 but she just won't stay up that long and if she does she screams and cries her head off and gets overtired. 

She sleeps really well from 6 to midnight and then BOOM she breaks out of her swaddle.  It's amazing.  We've tried 3-4 different types of swaddles and no matter what she gets her arms out, pulls her paci out, and then rolls to her stomach and moves around her crib and won't go back to sleep.  I think duct tape is probably out of the question so it's time she comes out of the swaddle I think.

Buuuuuut how do we do that exactly?  If she has one arm out she screams to have the other arm out.  If we take both out, she rolls to her stomach does push ups and crawls around the crib and won't go back to sleep until she cries, we come in, put her on her back and then guess what?  Back to her stomach again.  We repeat this over and over and over.  No idea what to do with her. 

Is duct tape ok? 8-}

PregsMcSnoozalot

@sparky65  I'm pretty sure she's telling you in no uncertain terms that she's done with the swaddle!   And she will eventually start sleeping without it  

Sparky65

I'm thinking you're right.  Do I just take her out of it and lay her in the crib until she falls asleep, when she rolls over keep going in and putting her back?

argonne

The Zippadee-Zip was our swaddle transition answer.  DD sleeps in that thing like a champ.  Unfortunately, they're hard to get as they sell out as soon as they have any in stock.

Sparky65

I'm debating between a Zipadee-Zip and the Merlin sleep sack.  With her rolling over so much I'm afraid it may be too late for the Merlin.