WWYD: explaining cancer/chemo to kids

jorie

My dad was recently dx'd with cancer and has started chemo.  He called to say he's losing his hair...fast.  We'll be traveling to see them in a couple of weeks and I know my kids will be freaked out.  I'm not so worried about C...she might be a little frightened but I think she'll get over it quickly.  L will be really weirded out.  I don't know if I should try to talk to her about it before-hand (obviously, in really simple terms) or if too much anticipation would be a bad thing?  She's the type that would worry about it starting the minute I told her. 

 As hard as their reactions might be for my dad, I know he understands that kids are kids and their reactions are natural and off-the-cuff.  I think he'll be okay with it.  I do, however, want to instill in L (before she sees my dad) that sometimes people look different but they're just the same on the inside, etc (which I've tried to do in other situations already) I feel like I should give her some kind of a heads-up but I'm not sure when or how.  

Advice?

zacook

we just went through this.... we just told dd that he was sick... the tubs and all the scary stuff never phased her one bit.. i am sorry you are going through this!

W&J'sMommy

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry about your dad.  I don't have any experience, but I'd just tell her Grandpa has to take special medicine and it made his hair fall out, but it will grow back.

cbidt*sgirl

i would prep them by saying that he has a boo boo (or sick if they understand that) and that the medicine he is taking to feel better makes his hair fall out so he will look different than when they last saw him.  try to be as straightforward and matter as fact as you can.

i am sorry you are being faced with this.

springmom

My dad was sick over the summer, and when we went to see him, I was totally not ready for what I saw. ?He didn't look like the same person at all, but my kids ran right for him! ?Didn't phase him. ?We've been talking to DD about kids with cancer and I've just told her that some kids get really sick with something called cancer, and the medicine that helps is so strong that it makes their hair fall out and makes them really tired and not feel well. ?GL and hugs.

maxebook29

My niece was about 3 when my mom lost her hair from chemo last year and it really didn't seem to bother her. She walked in the day after my mom shaved her head and did a double take and said "Grampy has hair, Mommy has hair, and Grammy has head." My sister told her that Grammy was sick and lost her hair, and that was all my niece seemed to need. The funny thing is that my DD was so used to a bald grammy, that she is a little freaked out now that she has hair again. I think just letting your DD know in advance might help, but I don't know that she needs too much more info. Best wishes for a speedy recovery for your dad. I know how scary it can be.

lizard76

I'm glad you posted this.  I posted yesterday that my dad's cancer came back and chemo may happen this time around.  If it comes to that, I figured I would tell my 2-yr-old that Grandpa was sick and his medicine made his hair come out.  I assume the simpler the better.

 My thoughts and prayers are with your family.

Beth