Tell me it will get better...

harmonicbabe26

So first of all - man, how short our memory is!!! I'm sure I was equally as frustrated and exhausted with DD1 but man oh man I'm struggling!! Little Miss Priss is a monster! I'm BFing 100% so far and maybe that's the reason... She wants to eat every 1.5-2hrs during the earlier part of the day and after 4pm we start hourly or more frequent feedings! It's impossible to function like this! When am I supposed to.take care od my 3yo??! Has anybody dealt with that frwquency of feeding? I keep saying she has two modes: eating and shrieking. Not much sleeping to speak of... Not a big fan of this girl when she's doing that. Good thing she's so darn cute, otherwise she's be left out in the cold...haha... With DD1 I never developed full boob supply so she always had to get a supplement after BF first...maybe that gave her a fuller belly and helped her be happier and eventually sleep better... I don't know.... I guess both of mine are crappy day nappers.... And I don't even mind getting up to feed overnight as long as she would let me put her down to sleep for the night first without having to fight a royal war every night... I swear this kid will sleep in the moving swing till she's 5... I know this is totally scattered and random. I feel like I've aged significantly past my 36 years because of exhaustion... Hah... Please give me a hug and tell me it will get better! Because if she still wants to eat every single hour after we turn 2-3 months old...I might have to get professional help haha...

Guennie

Big hug. My neighbor friend went through this too. She has been a walking zombie for 19 months. I sure hope you are able to find your way through it better than she has. I had low supply and had to supplement with my daughter as well and she's slept through the night from day one. I do know formula keeps them full longer so I believe it does have something to do with it. It sounds like you have your hands full, I'm terrified of this possibility myself as my daughter will be 2 1/2 months shy of 2 when this one is born. Have you ruled out the possibility that something you're eating might be affecting her? If she's that unhappy all the time it could be her tummy. If it's just that she's hungry all the time, most babies do grow out of that. Try to stick with a good nap routine and hopefully if you are consistent she will eventually start doing better. Have you tried music to soothe her? Our daughter has always loved music. Good luck mama, it really should get easier unless there's an issue!

harmonicbabe26

Yeah i'm sure it's not a tummy issue. She loves to eat and is the happiest while she eats.
I know 'they' say what she's doing is 'normal for a breast fed baby' and that in time it gets better. I just don't know how much longer to give it...
Does the lofty goal of feeding one child a certain way trump all the other duties I have as a parent to my other child?
That's the thing, nobody can tell me with certainty it will get better and she'll go longer between feeds so I can care for her sister and everything else I'm responsible for... She's 8w old so this should have normalized by now a bit. Normalized as in she SHOULD be able to last a couple of hours betw feeds... But instead we seem to be falling in a clear routine of hourly feedings which is just not sustainable in the long run....
Ughhh....

Geeps2

Holy Lord that is rough.  I can't say it will get better because really, I have no clue lol but if you are ok with supplementing I say go for it.  It may give you some much needed time to get everything done that you need to and allow the little lady some much needed rest.  My pediatrician, who is very pro breastfeeding BTW told me from the get go that supplementing a bottle here and there does not make you a failure as a parent.  When you need a break, take it.  Also, do you swaddle her during naps?  I know that helped immensely with my 1st, little man is a new breed all onto himself and hated being swaddled.  It may keep her sleeping longer?  

Good Luck. 

harmonicbabe26

Thank you @Geeps2‌ Yeah I swaddle her usually. That's new to me too. My DD1 HATED being swaddled and HATED the pacifier.
This one will take both BUT does not depend on them to sleep.
The last few days the frustrating thing has been that as soon as she feels I'm swaddling her she starts shrieking, it's like an automatic reaponse to even the thought that it's time to sleep.
And she's even started fighting the pacifier - thia tells me she's truly hungry when she screams... Only boob will appease her.

I'm so frustrated with this because overall in a 24hr period I KNOW i make enough milk for her. She is growing like a weed and gaining tons of weight. About an oz per day or more, which is perfect. Heck - she gained 2 LBs between her 2 week appt and 1 month!! But my suspicion is that I have to keep feeding her super frequently because my boobs refill slowly during the day when I'm tired and busy, and she only gets small amounts per feed... Ughh... So I hate the thought of giving up when I know that I am able to provide what she needs. Especially after i wasn't able to produce 100% with DD1 and HAD to supplement.
And having that experience already I DEFINITELY don't think that feeding any amount of formula makes anyone a failure as a parent... Quite the opposite. Being overly focused on boob feeding and neglecting every other aspect of pareting makes one a failure...

Ughh... Well I feel a little better now. Still frustrated but better. Venting really does help. This too shall pass, right?

shelley1002

No advice as I did not BF.  Just a hug and a "it will get better".  Hang in there mama.

MommyAtty

Big hug here. There is no way I could have breastfed with my second one. DD would have lost her mind. As it was, I couldn't because I had to be on really heavy-duty blood pressure meds for about 6-12 weeks after each kiddo, and the ones that kept me from stroking out aren't safe for BFing moms.

Guennie

Have you given any thought to pumping and giving her a bottle of breastmilk here and there so she can get more in one feeding? That could maybe be a happy compromise...

Geeps2

I was just thinking are you drinking enough water?  That helps with supply.  I was horrible with remembering to drink after the 2nd was born.  I was so busy during the day entertaining my daughter and getting stuff done around the house I just never remembered to drink.  Just a thought.  

QOTR

I'm sorry you're going through a rough time!   We  had brief periods like what you described during growth spurts.  I can't imagine maintaining that schedule for more than a few days.

Is she showing any signs of reflux?  I've read that sometimes reflux babies want to nurse constantly because the breastmilk soothes the burning ?

Samuelismomma

So sorry things are going so rough:( Iliana was having to feed 2 hrs for low birth weight and that was a killer . Can't imagine every hour breastfeeding...big hugs to you! Could she be soothing and using you like a pacifier ? I even though DD is second get her soothing mixed up with wanting to eat:/..

harmonicbabe26

@Samuelismomma she's DEF using me as a pacifier at times. But other times I do think she's hungry. I gave her 2oz of pumped milk after the 5pm feed and she took a catnap then hung out happily for 1.5hrs. So yeah, gonna start doing that from now on. I am pumping 2-2.5oz after the morning feed and so far I've been freezing that, but now I'm asking myself WHY?? I'll just feed her that instead.

It's not reflux or sensitivity, I'm sure of that. And I am WELL hydrated... Over 100oz of fluids daily (water, fennel tea, gatorade). PLUS I've been taking fenugreek, blessed thistle, goats rue AND eating oatmeal with flax and brewers yeast since about day 4... Haha if any of you have questions on how to increase supply, come to me. I'm an expert.

Anyone care to listen about out bedtime battles? Not asking for advice because I've read it all.
Last night it took from 8pm till 12:30am for her to finally give in and go down for the night. We tried swaddled, unswaddled, paci, no paci, swing, rock and play, rocking in my arms, upright, sideways against my chest, walking around, laying in my bed, feeding several times PLUS bottle (because it was taking so long). Nothing works.
I am a ZOMBIE. Another night of 4hrs of sleep TOTAL.

And no relief in sight.

Those who know me from Prego after 35 know about my hubby traveling for work all the time... Yeah he was gone for 2 weeks at 3w after my csection.
He's gone now again, on a 5 or 6 week travel streak. Last week in TN, now in western NC, next week Brazil, then Atl, and first week of Feb is China. I have a nanny come in help entertain my 3yo a few days of the week but that doesn't help with frustration over the newborn who never sleeps and shrieks incessantly. Oh yah, NO relatives here who could help so I have to rely on outsiders.

SERIOUSLY!! How did this happen to me? Ughh.

Just give me a big big hug guys. I am ready to quit.

MommyAtty

Big hug. And if you can afford it, see about a night nanny a couple of days a week. There is a reason that sleep deprivation is in the definition of torture in the Geneva Convention. (I know you aren't looking for sleep advice, but I'm a huge believer in Baby Whisperer and Happiest Baby on the Block. But even then, we just lived through the 8 month sleep regression for 3 weeks and it was hell.)

Guennie

Oh no. I wish it could be easier for you. I definitely say give her a bottle here and there instead of freezing everything, if it helps then it's way more important than building a huge stash.

We don't have family here either and although my h works a lot and isn't home as much as I'd like, at least he is here if I need him. I can't imagine him being gone for weeks at a time. Huge hugs mama!!!

mandyreads

I am so sorry you are going thru this. I know you said it is not reflux making her scream. But could it be silent reflux? My daughter would scream all the time. She never really spit up any. Come to find out her reflux was only coming up half way and burning her esophagus. And she would arch her back alot. Just a thought.
Hope you find a good schedule with her. ((Hugs))

Edit: spelling

Samuelismomma

@mandyreads that is what I was thinking too silent reflux. Apparently I ate frequently and cried a lot . My dad at the end of his rope carried me while on horse back..the rhythm and jarring worked. I would talk to dr. I wish you had more help:( that is awful:(...big hugs...

harmonicbabe26

Thank you guys for the virtual hugs!

So a quick update - I listened to my gut and gave her 2oz of pumped milk after her 5pm feed and she's like a completely different kid... Ate, eyes glazed over, got this drunk smile on her, slept a bit and hung out happily for an hour and half... I was able to do some coloring and feed dinner to her sister. Then at bedtime I also offered her about 1oz which she took, didn't want more, and then the last 3 nights she allowed me to put her to sleep in a reasonable amt of time! Which in turn means I got more sleep (amazing what an extra 1 HOUR can do) and I feel more rested and less stressed. And this morning I was able to pump 3oz after the morning feed!! To me that's the biggest measure of recovery. So now we're covered for tonight and hopefully she will continue being happier.

Mind you, I am nit saying I solved the problem, but the last couple of days I was able to manage with some minor tweaks and 'milk shifting'...

I thought about silent reflux, asked out PT about that and she said baby would be arching her back etc which she is not doing. I swear I can distinguish her hungry cries... She says 'lait lait' which is French for milk haha... But I will certainly run it by our pedi on Monday when we have her 2 month checkup.

mandyreads

That is wonderful news. Glad you found something that works.
But yeah, my daughter was constantly arching her back and screaming with the silent reflux.

Guennie

Yay!!! I had a feeling that might help!

springbeduk2

That is great that the extra shot of pumped milk is helping! I hope it keeps up! And great that you are able to pump even with her nursing so often. Mine nursed really often too and even when not nursing basically only wanted me to hold her so it was nearly impossible to pump. And then even when I could pump I got very little since she had already drunk it all.

The only other thing I was wondering reading you posts is if you're sure her latch is good? Since she's getting the milk coma from the bottlebut not from nursing yet you still have milk left to pump? I know she is getting enough total as shown by the weight gain but maybe is only getting one letdown per nursing time or something like that maybe due to not sustaining a good latch so then goes for frequency.

Anyway I originally started replying to say that at least with my now 8 month DD yes it got better - at least the frequent nursing did. (She is still a crappy sleeper and will still only nurse to sleep when withme though will nap like a proper baby when at daycare ... clearly I suck at getting babies to sleep so listen to the other women here for advice on that!). She also nursed all!the!time! - definitely a snacker plus comfort sucking. Her weight was low too though so didn't dare try to get her to nurse less. But it got better. I think there was some reduction in frequency between 2 and 3 months and then even more around 4 monthsand now that she is eating solids too and is a way more efficient nurser -both since 5 or 6 months and increasingly so - daytime frequency is way down. Like easily 3 hours between feedings and really between not that start to start timing crap. Also now that she can sit and play and is actually interested in toys, boob is not only source of entertainment. She still nurses a lot at night but at least side lying nursing works well again ( it didn't from about 2 weeks until 3 or 4 months) which is hugely helpful for me getting more rest and even actual sleep.

I also did cut out dairy (and to be safe soy and beef also but barely ate those anyway) from my diet from when she was 3 months old to 6 months (when "they" say stomach lining is finally less porous) and I do think it helped her and I should have done it sooner. Even though like you say with yours she always seemed happiest while eating not like eating hurt her ... her mood between feedings seemed better off dairy. And she went from many soiled and mucousy diapers per day to usually just one with less or no mucous. So maybe she was getting more sustenance before themilk passed through her. But of course all those changes could've been related to her getting older not to my diet - correlation doesn't prove causation. But since I suffered through the dairy-free diet I'm going to believe that was the cause of the improvement I saw!

Good luck and hugs!!!

supersarah77

@harmonicbabe26‌ I'm so glad you posted your update! I opened this thread because I am facing this situation shortly with a NB and a toddler and I'm so fearful it will be a sleepless nightmare. I EBF'd DD and she ate every couple hours for a while. Not every hour, as you stated after 4pm, thankfully. But still, I'm worried! But since you found a solution that allows you to keep a little more of your sanity I'm slightly more hopeful about surviving with mine intact.

And also, hugs to you, warrior mama!

shelley1002

Glad you found something that is working.