WWYD?

Clyde013

H and I were on our way out today and stopped in to see our good friends. The guy and DH are also recent business partners, and the girl and I are childhood friends.

We like hanging out with them but are very different (in terms of our priorities). They are also financially unsound.

The guy asked DH to borrow $. DH and I both know that if we loan them the money, we will likely never see it again and should write it off in our minds as a gift. I also sense that if we make 1 "loan" they will ask for more in the future.

We have considered 2 options:
1. loaning them the $$ and telling them we expect it back and not to ask us for any more unless it's repaid.

2. Saying no. I'm not a fan of mixing personal financials with friends. We are also planning to buy a condo in the next 5 months and have been saving. This money would come out of our savings but it wouldn't really impact our financials substantially.

Basically I'm pretty set on saying no but feel bad. I believe if roles were reversed and we asked them for money and they had it, they would loan it to us. The issue is I wouldn't ask them for money.
anyone have any advice or experience with this? Should we just say no, we don't want to mess up our business relationship with personal finances? wWYD?

fabk

I wouldn't do it. ^^ what they all said.

beckyanddon

I think they have said it all. Blame it on the fact that you are saving for the move and can not. As far as I'm concerned I don't feel as if I need to justify to a person why I can't help them out. A no is a no and I have my reasons no matter how good or bad they may seem to you.

new2011mommy

I agree with what everyone else said. We ran into this problem with my BIL years ago always asking for money. Finally DH said we are buying a house and cannot do this anymore and he luckily stopped.

LauraB1016

I agree. It is never good to mix friendship and money.

Dani428

I agree - no mixing money with friends unless it's some extremely unfortunate situation (not due to them just not being good with money).

Clyde013

Thanks. I think DH will say that he knows that money can interfere and he doesn't want to ruin their business relationship. Honestly, this dude is extremely aggressive and entitled so if we don't say no now it would never end.

KikiCohen

Everything that @lizabethann06 said.

atlvol

Another no here!

martyn17

Agree with all PPs

Link7913

casey78 said:

Nope, nope, nope. I'd tell them we really care about them and are concerned for their wellbeing, but between job change, baby, and plans for the year we just aren't in a position to help.

I'd rather fib a bit and not give room to question than give them something to argue or debate: that this would impact the business relationship.

This. A simple "no, we aren't in the position to loan money". And if the guy questions or argues, broken record technique. "We aren't in the position to loan money" - over & over. You don't need a reason to not loan money to people.

Lelo2006

KittenD said:

It's all good to say no way, but how do you say that to a close friend? I mean "sorry, you're irresponsible" is not going to go over well. How would you go about saying no? 

I agree with everyone else and I wouldn't do it (in principle) but I am also completely horrible with confrontation and would probably be a pushover. 

I would 100% say no; I'd just say, we don't want to choose to use our money this way. I'd probably try to suggest some bank loan or something.

How much are we talking?

andrea0418

Another vote no.

PrimRoseMama

I'd say no. Just say you don't have it & that you don't like mixing friendship/money.

PrimRoseMama

Re: How to say no.

"You know we love you, but we aren't in a place financially that we can loan you the money."

miss2697

I guess I'm too nice. It all depends on the circumstances, but it sounds like you're leaning towards the right decision. I never have been in that position nor have I asked, but I think that if my friend was in dire need that I would do it.

Clyde013

You guys I am beyond infuriated that they would ask us. I couldn't sleep last night because of it. We work very hard for our money and things can change in both our careers any year so I am beyond myself at their entitlement.

We are definitely not doing it.

@Lelo2006‌ they asked for $3,000.

miss2697

Wow! Yea, I would definitely say no to that amount.

Lelo2006

$3k?! Holy crap - I was thinking like $500!

Clyde013

Just talked it over with DH.

Me: "what will you say?"
DH: "sorry I'm not in the lending business"

/ded

valstulas

I'd say no with the slip of a side-eye. Asking anyone for $3000 is just. Wow.

@KittenD‌ :-h \:D/ :x

bumpuser794640

I would say no and not feel badly about it.

PrimRoseMama

@Clyde013‌ : 3K?! No way dude. That's crazy-ass presumption! I wouldn't dream of asking a friend for that kind of cash! @-)

Lelo2006

mystererae said:

If the reason you need money is that you can't manage your finances, then no regardless of who you are.

If you are sick or had very bad luck, maybe depending on why you asked me and not family.

I let @mystererae‌ borrow $30 once... But she paid me back in 20 seconds

[Deleted User]

Heck to the no. We've given people loans and have pretty much always gotten screwed in the end. Nope, no more.

ETA I'd loan my immediate family members money, just not friends or cousins, etc.

TheLittleRedM

Holy crap! 3k??? WTH are they thinking? In what world is that every okay to ask for?

hollandmama

I'm in the NO team too... mostly because I hate seeing friendships end because of money issues, I keep my wallet and my friends apart as much as possible... If the money would be for health related things I'd probably give it, but for superfluos things I'd not.

EagleWife

Nope. Lending money has to be treated as giving money, and I can't justify taking money away from my baby because other adults failed to plan properly.

I'm also appalled at the amount they asked for and am giggling at  your H's response, Clyde.