How do/did you stay patient during "the wait"?

isenbergbethisenbergbeth member
edited January 2015 in Adoption
We got our fourth monthly status update from our agency yesterday.  The purpose is to check to make sure our info and preferences are the same and to let us know whether or not they need more profiles (we had sent 50 initially-they have yet to need more).

We have friends gong through the same agency who are getting their 14th month status update so I feel terrible on days like this when I am impatient for OUR turn when they have been waiting so much longer.  In fact, the wife and I had been doing about monthly dinners to commiserate about IF/waiting to become parents and even though it's my turn to try to schedule one I have been putting it off because I will feel bad griping when they have been waiting so much longer.  

However, I need to get the griping out somewhere to an audience who you guys are it:).

We have a list of things to do while waiting that I compiled through different resources I googled which gives us (ok--gives ME) something to keep myself occupied to a degree.  We are Christians and my faith has actually strengthened through our IF and now adoption journey so prayer and bible study help too.  Most of the time I am at peace, but there are days like today that I throw an internal temper tantrum wanting to know why everyone gets to be a mama but me (which my brain knows is NOT true).

So ladies what things help(ed) you stay patient during "the wait"?  TIA

Re: How do/did you stay patient during "the wait"?

  • Lately, I have been cleaning out the fridge, pantry and freezer.  Stocking up on pantry items, just packed away half a cow in the freezer, working on some meal planning items we can freeze for later. Trying to keep busy with as many things as possible.  

    It doesn't always help but it keeps me occupied, which is as much as I can ask for right now.  

    J&B // Married 9/19/09
    J: 28 // B: 32 

    TTC # 1 Since October 2010 (Not preventing since 2009)
    November 2013: Applied & Accepted by the Agency
    January 2014: Home Study, education class, Profiles
    February 2014: "Officially Waiting"
    [Deleted User]
  • My waiting has just begun since my husband and I are just beginning the adoption process. This waiting feels different than the IF waiting though. I don't really have any advice to offer, but I'm interested to see what others have to share. One thing I have started doing is getting back into knitting and crochet. It keeps my hands busy and I'm able to gift or donate many of the things I make. The local children's hospital always needs knit caps for their premies and kids going through chemotherapy. About planning the monthly get-together with your friend, I would plan it sooner rather than later. Although your friend has been waiting longer, I'm sure she understands how you are feeling and will not think ill of you for expressing your frustrations.
    married 7.11.09
    Me: 31 DH: 36
    DD (14) and DS (11) adopted from US Foster care December 2016
    BFP April 24, 2018 | EDD December 29, 2018
    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker
    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • Loading the player...
  • We're at the two year mark approved and waiting. I think I may have deep cleaned my house 8 times now. I also try to stock up on stuff. It's hard. I guess the best thing we can do is to try and occupy our time with things we may not be able to do right away with a child (sponanious trips, movies, dates).
    TTC since June 2010
    5 Angels

    Lilypie - (hlC0)
  • I simply don't stay patient. I cant wait but I have no choice but wait...
  • Thank you ladies:).  You provided a lot of good food for thought!
  • We are currently in month # 5 actively waiting. It is HARD! I know there are others out there who have been waiting longer, so I keep my mouth shut. But, it is REALLY HARD! Most of the time, I am keeping myself busy with cleaning or organizing something, or visiting family and friends. But there are some days where I am not doing anything and I get to thinking about the wait and it makes me sad. Hang in there. We all know we're going to be parents, we just don't know when. I repeat that over and over and then move on to cleaning something. LOL! It seems to help for now. We'll see as the wait continues. 
    January 2014--Picked Agency, had informational Meeting and turned in Application
    June      2014--Started our Home Study (all paperwork &fingerprinting that ensued)
    August  2014--Finished our Home Study and Officially Waiting

    Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
    [Deleted User]
  • We are almost to the 5 month mark. Right now, it looks like an atomic bomb went off in my house. I'm in the process of downsizing for a tentative move. My DH is finishing up his last semester of undergrad and we applied to grad schools. I'm trying to appreciate that I have the time to do all this now without a baby.
  • I threw myself into work. I teach. I wrote a grant for school, tutored kids, cleaned and visited family.
  • Thanks!  I wish I had the time back.  Hindsight is 20/20 and blah blah.  I love my son with ever fiber of my being, but I know I wasted that time feeding into my own anxieties instead of taking advantage of my last year of freedom and independence.  And I'm sure I'm in good company.  ;)
  • Thanks for posting this and for everyone sharing your stories.

    I am signing up for races to keep me busy. Training for a May half for starters.
    Meghan and Jonny- Puerto Vallarta, Mexico - May 1, 2010
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