TTC over 40, no heartbeat 1/7/15 what's next??

lori2428 · January 2015

Hello ladies,

after looking SO many posts I couldn't find a place that I fit. I could really use some help. I am 42. I am ttc. I had my first cycle of ivf in December. January 7, 2015 we had our first ultrasound only to find no heartbeat. We have to go back next week when we will be 7 weeks 2 days to make sure. Dr. said it could go either way but I know there will be no change. I'm just curious what happens next?

Is anyone else going through or gone through this?? I feel completely alone

LittleDucky · January 2015

I am sorry you are have found yourself here and that you might be facing a loss. How many weeks/days were you at your first ultrasound? It is my understanding that a heartbeat can be seen on at ultrasound beginning at 6w, so you might be right on that line. It sounds like your doctor is doing the right thing by following up with another ultrasound next week.

I went through a similar situation with my first miscarriage in July. There was no heartbeat and I was measuring 5w6d when I knew I should have been 7w2d. I had to wait and do a follow up ultrasound several days later to confirm that the embryo had stopped developing.

Since you asked what comes next if there is no heartbeat at the follow up appointment, your doctor is likely to discuss options with you - waiting to miscarry naturally, using drugs that will cause you to miscarry, or doing a D&C. There are ladies on here who have done all three options but it is a personal decision that you will have to make in consultation with your doctor.

Again, I am so, so sorry you are stuck in limbo right now. The uncertainty is awful. Sending you lots of (((hugs))).

lori2428 · January 2015

thanks ladies. I was 6 weeks 2 days at the ultrasound. I will be 7 weeks 2 days at the follow up. I'll check out those others for advice.

Thanks for not making me feel alone

LizBlue · January 2015

I'm so sorry for your loss. I remember the first appointment when my doctor said that they found a heartbeat, but it was too low, and that I should come back in a week to be sure, but that this was not a viable pregnancy. It's agonizing and I hope you take good care of yourself.

For me, the next immediate decision was what to do since i was going through a missed miscarriage (body didn't miscarriage on its own). I chose a d&c and had a very easy experience with that, but it's a personal decision and everyone has different reasons for what they decide. Your doctor should go over the pros and cons of your next step.

That loss was before we did IVF, but I did IVF also (two unsuccessful transfers and one chemical pregnancy). None of this is easy. It's heartbreaking and unfair. I call it horseshit.

Take it one step at a time and take care of yourself and your partner. Sending big hugs.

MrsOscarFelix · January 2015

I am so sorry that you are going through this. It sounds to me that you may only be in your early 6 weeks - so that can be normal not see a heartbeat.

I would suggest heading over to the Pregnant after Loss board and they will be able to give you more insight and maybe some success stories. Right now on this board no one is pregnant, we are all just TTC.

If it does go the other way and you are in fact miscarrying, you are definitely welcome here.

GL to you and I hope all goes well.

ETA: words

Nikolie93 · January 2015

PP's already mentioned what I would have said. I am just here offering *hugs* and to say I am sorry you're going through this.

lori2428 · January 2015

thanks ladies. Sorry for all of your losses as well. You are proving to me to keep trying! We can do it!

kreardon11 · January 2015

I am so sorry you're going through this.

Every PG is different, but here's my story: At 6+1 I heard a HB, at 10+2 no HB. DC two days later. AF came 35 days later, and I've been cleared to TTC again.

Are you working with an RE right now for IVF?

I would definitely suggest PgAL as well. GL OP, and know you're welcome here.

TheAerialist · January 2015

I am so, so sorry that this is happening to you. Both of my MC's were MMC, both had a small fetal pole and a sac but no heartbeat.

I am sure the answer is yes if you are doing IVF, but did they give you an internal US? And are they doing betas?

It IS still early, which is why the doctor wants to check again next week, but to be totally frank chances are not good. I hope it's ok to say that, but that is what I needed someone to say to me when I was going through this.

Don't be afraid to wait it out as long as you need/want (assuming there isn't a medical reason not to)! That was an option for me and it's a good one if you feel that is what is right for you. I ended up taking the meds, but a D&C is another option, both have pros and cons.

I also just saw this interesting study a few days ago:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/2660539/

lori2428 · January 2015

Thank you @kreardon11, that's exactly what I need. I'm not afraid of the truth even when it hurts. I'm still hopeful yet realistic. I was just hoping to start trying again sooner then later and hope my body helps me out!