Intro and Advice — The Bump
Late Term and Child Loss

Intro and Advice

Sadly, I would like to introduce myself, but hope that I can give and get support to your ladies through our similar experiences. I would also like some advice if possibles. 

My husband and I had been trying for a baby for six months when I found out I was pregnant. I was so scared and happy at the same time. This baby was a blessing. I know in the scheme of TTC six months is not very long, but as many of you know when you want a baby so bad every month seems like a lifetime. Everything was going so well until my 12 week NT scan. There was an abnormal amount of fluid around the baby's neck. We met with the high risk specialist who was not optimistic and said there was an 80% chance that our baby would be completely healthy. I'm not usually a half glass full type of person with those stats, but I wanted to believe we could beat the odds so bad. If someone has to be in the 20%, why not us? We went further with genetic testing and the baby tested positive for chromosomal abnormalities and the fluid kept increasing. With absolutely not hope that the baby would have a normal life (if he would be blessed with life at all), we decided to end the pregnancy at 15 weeks.

I am so sad and feel so guilty. In my head and heart, I know I did it out of love for my baby. I would never want him to feel any kind of pain. I would never want him to live his entire life in a hospital. But my mind plays tricks on me and sometimes I question if I was strong enough. I am ashamed of myself and embarrassed. I am so depressed and have so much anxiety. I know that is normal, but it doesn't make it feel better. I need to talk to someone.

One of the things that I'm struggling with most, and perhaps someone can provide advice, is that there are several forums and outlets for miscarriage support, but I did not miscarry. People do not talk about what I went through and I feel like all of my feelings are stuck inside. Thank you for listening.

Re: Intro and Advice

  • ***Ticker Warning***





    I am so sorry for your loss. Sending T&Ps your way.

    Brooke Elizabeth born Feb 17, 2013 grew wings May 9, 2013 @ 11 weeks & 4 days old from SIDS



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  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope each day gets easier for u (better said than done I know), miscarriages don't often get talked about in this society and it's truly sad. I know u will get lots of support from this group, just know you did everything in the best interest of ur child.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss and the fact that you were forced to make such a difficult decision.  Have you looked into any IRL supports groups or counseling? I met with a therapist who specializes in pregnancy loss and it really helped me just by talking about my loss. ((hugs))
    TTC since August 2013 BFP #1 1/15/14...MMC 2/24/14...D&C 3/3/14 BFP #2 5/11/14 ... severe pre-e placental abruption our angel born sleeping at 22 weeks Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • *siggy warning

    I am so sorry for your loss. There are some ladies who have had similar experiences on this board. So sorry to welcome you here (((hugs)))

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  • Oh I'm so sorry :-( please don't blame yourself. No one wants to make that decision, and it's impossible to know what the best decision is. It doesn't matter how long or hard you tried to get pregnant. You lost a very much wanted and loved baby, and there's just nothing fun about that. Be kind to yourself. You are already a wonderful mother. Big hugs
  • Sorry about the profile pic. I changed it
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. T's & P's are with you and your family.

  • To start I want to extend my deepest sympathies to you and your family on your loss. I have a few friends who have had to terminate due to medical reasons and where I live there are several support groups specifically for people who have had to endure medical terminations I would check with your hospital or the local chapter of SHARE to see if they have a list with support groups they can recommend to you.

    again, so very sorry for your loss.
    Noah Gabriel due:4/21/15 born sleeping 12/22/14

    Hoping for a Rainbow in 2016
  • I am so sorry for your loss. I know there are other moms here who have had to make similar decisions. I would also second what PP said about looking into counseling. After the loss of our son, MH and I saw our grief counselor together and it was really helpful for us.
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    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
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