Finalization cancelled. >:-(

Got a call from our attorney around 6 that BF finally filed his bill of review yesterday.  We were supposed to have our finalization hearing tomorrow morning.  I'm so frustrated and mad.  I'm trying to have some sympathy and understanding for BF, but it is insanely difficult.  We've been dealing with this dispute since March.  We will have been parenting B for a year on the 29th.  I could use some hugs.

Re: Finalization cancelled. >:-(

  • Major hugs coming your way, hun!! 

    J&B // Married 9/19/09
    J: 28 // B: 32 

    TTC # 1 Since October 2010 (Not preventing since 2009)
    November 2013: Applied & Accepted by the Agency
    January 2014: Home Study, education class, Profiles
    February 2014: "Officially Waiting"
  • Oh that sucks. Big hugs!
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  • :( I am so sorry. Any chance things might change?
  • So many hugs. I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now.
    Meghan and Jonny- Puerto Vallarta, Mexico - May 1, 2010
  • Oh no! That really sucks. I'm sorry. :(
    married 7.11.09
    Me: 31 DH: 36
    DD (14) and DS (11) adopted from US Foster care December 2016
    BFP April 24, 2018 | EDD December 29, 2018
    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker
    [Deleted User]
  • Oh, I am so sorry. I should have checked here before posting on BOTB. I hope you get your finalization soon. Big squishy hugs
  • Sending you one big ol' virtual hug! I think that stinks.
  • Seriously???? I am so sorry! Big hugs for you and I will also be praying for things to work for you...
  • I am so sorry to hear that. What a frustrating process. I understand your conflict with wanting to sympathize with BF but at what cost? This seems unfair to you and your little B. I hope you get a resolution soon.

    ************Siggy warning, LO & loss***************

    Me 37 - DH 37 unexplained infertility
    DS born 09/99
    TTC since 2010
    12/11 BFP - ectopic, received methotrexate, benched 4 months 
    08/14 - exploring fertility options

    Tubes clear, SA for DH all clear
    10/14- #1 IUI (femera/ovadril/progesterone), 2 follicles 22/17, post wash count 94 million BFN

    10/14 - #2 IUI (Femera/ovidrel/progesterone ), 2 follies 19/20, post wash 111 million, BFN Dec 2014 Femera BFFN Taking a break to explore foster to adopt!

  • I am so sorry!! This all seems so unfair to you. I hope things turn around and you are able to finalize soon. Big, big hugs!! <3
    January 2014--Picked Agency, had informational Meeting and turned in Application
    June      2014--Started our Home Study (all paperwork &fingerprinting that ensued)
    August  2014--Finished our Home Study and Officially Waiting

    Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
  • Spooko said:
    Oh my heart just sank for you. How can you be that close to finalization and him still appeal? We weren't given a date for finalization until the appeals window had closed. What is he possibly fighting at this point? Does he actually want to parent? Or just not be seen as abandoning his kid? I'm SO upset for you guys. This is beyond unfair and unjust.
    This.  Do you think he's just being contentious, or that he actually has the will and means to parent?  Either way, I'm so very sorry.  
  • That stinks!  Sending hugs your way!!!
  • I don't  know what exactly this means but I am SO sorry. <3 Prayers, hugs, positive thoughts, whatever you need. Please keep us posted.  That little man on his bike always brings me a smile. 
  • I am so sorry you are going through this! And to be soo close to the finish line too! Hugs!!!


    "Even miracles take a little time"

  • I'm so sorry. 
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Thanks for all the sorries, ladies.  I think he really just wants to feel like he tried everything he could to get B back, even though he never helped parent him before he was placed and has never met him at all.  It is very frustrating, but I understand (sort of).  He is way past the appeals window, but the bill of review is to go back to his original termination of rights and see whether everything was done legally (which it was).  This bill was filed pro se, so either he couldn't pay his attorney anymore, his attorney quit, or he fired her.  In any case, he doesn't really have any evidence and I'm confident his bill of review will be dismissed at his hearing.  We don't have a date for that yet since our attorney has to respond to the filing first, and he just got it at close of business on Thursday.
  • Keep us posted!!!  We hope things move on quickly!!


    "Even miracles take a little time"

  • edited January 2015
    I'm so sorry, Gnome. It really does sound like he's just doing what he can to live with himself in the future. Even though he knows it's a long shot, if he does this now, then he can always tell himself he tried everything he could to get B back, and it just wasn't enough.

    I would be crushed in your shoes, having thought that all legal possible challenges to your parenthood would be closed tomorrow, and now having to wait. With everything you have shared, though, I think you can be confident that this is just a temporary set-back, and you will be declared B's only legal parents in a matter of time.

    Hand in there! All our thoughts and prayers are with you and your little boy, who you clearly live and have been there for since the first day you met him. Much love and support coming your way!
  • Thinking of you Gnome!  We aren't nearly that far along, but getting wrinkles thrown into the plan are never fun (see my re-intro post).  (hugs)


  • Sorry for the set back. :( Hang in there.
    After many failed rounds of IF tx and closing that chapter, we're raising and adopting DH's bio nephew, born Sept 2013.
  • IRRIRR member
    Ughh. Gnome such issues are so frustrating.  Hope all works out in the end and this nightmare turns into pleasant dreams.

    Failed Matches - December 2012, May 2013, December 2013
    Moved on to  gestational surrogacy with a family friend who is our angel and due 7/23/15

  • So sorry Gnome. I can't imagine the frustration. I can understand where he's coming from. In his mind he may see this as the only way to show his love to B since he showed none before. He's wrong and it's sad he won't see it. It seems that birthfathers process differently and sadly it seems much, much, later than birthmoms. Which is why I believe BS like this happens. I hope he gives it up soon or the court dismisses it. You're amazing for even trying to see his POV.
    Birthmom to A, 1/8- the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

    A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao-Tzu

  • I'm not on here often, but I saw this and had to give my support. I'm so sorry :( I hope this gets resolved quickly.
    Love 2010 | Marriage 2011 | TTC #1 since 2012
    PCOS | Anovulatory | Metformin + Letrozole
  • I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine how frustrating that is. Best wishes that it all works out for the best in the end.
    Happily married Mom to 2 beautiful little girls, 2 dogs and 2 cats (all rescues), 2 fish and one 29 year-old firebelly newt.
    ~ Hoping to add to our family by adoption via Connecticut DCF. Application submitted on 2/4/14. First home visit on 6/23/14. Started class 11/17/14.~

  • What a nightmare. Hugs.
    Ready to take the road less traveled. 
  • ((((((((HUGS)))))))))
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