How do you do time outs?

ss265

DS1 is 26 months old and recently started hitting. We do time outs but he doesn't seem to get the concept that he needs to stay in one place and can't move. I feel silly telling him to "stay" like a dog. Do you guys confine your kids when you put them in time out? 

JENandJEH

At first, it was a lot of walking him back to our time out spot and crouching in front of him to hold him in place if necessary.  Now, he sits in our time out spot and has to keep his hands on his legs (he was rolling around, playing with the carpet and blinds so this keeps his hands still).  We do 1 minute for every year of age.  If he gets up, I start the time over.  If he moves his hands, I remind him where we keep our hands during time out and usually he puts them back...occasionally I have to go put his hands on his lap for him.  

pb&fluff

Ugh time outs are the bane of our existence.  "Do you need to go to time out?"  "Yes."  Thanks, kid.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  We have figured out that for things like throwing a toy, or flipping his sippy upside down to bang the spout on the table to make it leak, we talk about putting the toy or sippy in time out.  That seems to work a little more.  Behavior is hard.  Especially because when he hits me, he doesn't care.  He seems to respect DH's tone of voice more.  It's so frustrating.

ashiscute

First don't ask "do you need to go to timeout?"  Just say "if you hit again you are going to timeout" and "that's it- timeout".  

We do timeout in a corner in our kitchen but they face out.  If they get up I put them back.  I don't require them to sit (they can also stand or lay down) but they need to stay in that space and not touch anything but themselves.  I do not talk to them once a timeout starts but I can see them and they can see me.  We started timeouts around 17 or 18 months and it clicked quickly for both of them.  If you keep putting them back they will get it. 

I have done timeouts at the park, mall, restaurants, other people's houses, etc and it's still the same.  If you're consistent it will work.

ss265

Thanks everyone! 

JLSmith124

We have a time out chair that he needs to sit in. If he tries to get up, we simply tell him that he is in time out for (hitting, throwing, etc.) and needs to stay until the timer goes off. I sit him back down in the chair anytime he tries to get up. After a few attempts, he got it and understood that he had to wait for the timer. He just turned two so he gets two minutes.

You really have to customize it to them. If a time out chair isn't working, then maybe try redirecting or taking away a favorite toy for a few minutes. The timer was what actually helped us. Before we used the timer, he didn't quite understand the concept of staying in the chair. Once we brought the timer into it, he got it.

pb&fluff

ashiscute said:

First don't ask "do you need to go to timeout?"  Just say "if you hit again you are going to timeout" and "that's it- timeout".  

We do timeout in a corner in our kitchen but they face out.  If they get up I put them back.  I don't require them to sit (they can also stand or lay down) but they need to stay in that space and not touch anything but themselves.  I do not talk to them once a timeout starts but I can see them and they can see me.  We started timeouts around 17 or 18 months and it clicked quickly for both of them.  If you keep putting them back they will get it. 

I have done timeouts at the park, mall, restaurants, other people's houses, etc and it's still the same.  If you're consistent it will work.

Thank you for this.  I started just telling him, if you can't stop x, or if you don't do x, you're going to time out.  Seems to work so far.