One & Done: Only child

Weird shyness stages that your kid goes through

This is probably more of a whine but I always appreciate encouragement from those who have went through it, too! In the last month, my kid has become very shy and super clingy with me. The holidays were pretty overwhelming for him and I feel like that's what sort of kicked it off. The large groups of people were very difficult for him and he seemed to have a tough time processing everything, especially newer people. He's the kind of kid who definitely needs time to warm up to new people and situations. Last week he had a play date with a friend at our house who he's played great with at her house before. He seemed very uncomfortable having her in our space-- almost territorial? His little friend is a couple of months older and her mom said that she went through something similar a couple of months ago where all she wanted as mom and didn't want to deal with other adults or play with kids either. Have any of you experienced this at around the 2.5-3 year old stage, too? I want to encourage him to interact well with others but I definitely don't want to push him, either-- pushing him just results in tantrums, both him and me, really. Do I just sit back and let it pass? I feel like I'm probably making more out of this than it is but it made me really sad when he wouldn't play with his friend.
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Re: Weird shyness stages that your kid goes through

  • I've gone through this recently with my 2.5 year old DS as well. I know how you feel, but I think it's important not to push them as well. He's exploring his "right" to say no and if he doesn't want to play or interact then eh, it's just one of those days. It is sad to watch, but this too shall pass. Hugs!!

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    eyenigh[Deleted User]
  • edited January 2015

    I think this is pretty normal, and I would gently encourage him, but not push.  I was terribly, painfully shy as a child and my mom pushing me made it worse.  I'm still a pretty shy adult, and it's something I work on conciously.  I think it can just be an inherent part of one's personality-- and it's not a negative thing, it just is.

    DD is so outgoing that it actually makes me uncomfortable (because I am naturally shy).  She randomly walks up to strangers everywhere-- talks to them, HUGS them, tries to hold random kids hands.  I am forever trying to tell her "we don't touch people without asking" and "we stay close to mommy and don't talk to strangers."

    Usually I wind up engaging in conversation with someone she's hugged or blabbed to, and they typically ask me if she has an older sibling because she's so friendly/ talkative, so I am guessing a shy 3 YO is totally and completley normal.

    Again-- her nature has had nothing to do with my parenting-- it just seems to be inherent to her personality-- as both me and her dad are not outgoing and generally shy people.


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    eyenigh[Deleted User]
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  • Thanks, guys. It makes me feel better to know that this is somewhat normal.

    @janineb No, it wasn't territorial over toys-- he didn't have a problem with her playing with his things. It was more the idea that she was in our house at all. About 5 minutes after she got there, he point blank said. "I don't want to play with Anna!" and he went in another room by himself. He eventually came back out but didn't really want to interact. I asked his friend if they were fighting and she matter-of-factly replied "Yes." LOL. At this age, they still do a lot of parallel play more than total interaction but when they were at her house a few months ago, they were running around playing hide and seek together and laughing like crazy. Like I said, I think was so disappointed that they didn't do that again that I immediately started feeling awful and started worrying something was wrong. 
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