Hi all - FTM & I am trying to figure out if I want anyone in the room besides my DH? As background, I'm really open (no body bubble / privacy issues) & am really close to my mom & sister. But will I want it to just be our moment? Maybe they are there for part, but not all?
Looking for thoughts & opinions.
Thanks!
Re: Anyone besides DH in delivery room?
My mom and sister would be be uncomfortable and I'm not *that* close with my MIL or SIL.
DH - 27
TTC #1 since July 2014
With dd I had my Dh and mom. My mom took pictures towards the back and was very quiet so I actually don't remember her intruding or anything. Dh stayed by my side. I haven't really thought about it this time, I'm open to it again. But I'm not having my vag on display for a bunch of people like sister, mil, etc.
ETA: Before I started pushing my aunt, uncle and there two kids, my grandmother, parents, and in law were there. Everyone except my in laws, parents, and Dh stayed. They all were in the waiting room except Dh and my mom who were with me. I know my sister and brother swapped to be up there at one point, they were watching my little brother.
I was birthing partner to my BFF in June and it was magical. I will never forget being the one to massage her, talk to her through the contractions and be one of the first to meet my god daughter and hold her. This time I have asked her to be my birthing partner. I can't wait!
My MIL expected to be allowed in the room because she was in the room with my SIL. She was a little disappointed but she got over it.
With my 3rd, it was just DH and I. It'll just be us for this one, as well.
I really enjoyed being able to sharevmy experience with the people I love and it was a lot less boring than it was with just DH. But I'm sure it's not for everyone.
Both of our parents were at the hospital while I was in labor after I got my epidural for a bit. But when it was time to push I just sort of said who it felt comfortable letting stay. The bonus of my mom and MIL were they took lots of good pics once babies were here and they were awesome at getting me things I needed while I was stuck in bed. And I don't really remember them being there at THE moment but I remember DH.
DS born 9/3/13; DD born 7/22/15; LO due 5/28/18
FS (age 5) and FD (age 2) to become AS/AD very soon!
With DS it was just me and DH. No other family or friends at the hospital. It was SO peaceful and nice! I had more privacy and it was just our little moment which made it more special.
Edited to say:
With this one it will just be me and DH again.
Second go around it was just my DH and me for the delivery. Our mothers were in there a fair bit leading up to delivery but left when it was time to push. It was perfect with just my hubby. We had an hour after her birth to bond with her before we had to share.
Also all of DH's family came and waited in the waiting room as soon as they heard I was in labor. Most of them stayed the whole 25 hours of my labor which I find insane! Sweet but insane! I recommend not telling everyone right away when you go into labor. I felt like I was being a meanie not wanting them to come back, but who really wants there FIL and BIL to see them bra less in a gown going through contractions. Not me!
Me- 28, DH- 32 ----> together six years, married June 2012
Initial diagnosis of PCOS, currently labeled as unexplained infertility
BFP 12/20/13, EDD 8/25/2014, baby got his wings at 11 weeks and 3 days.
BFP 11/9/14, EDD 7/24/2015
I like to handle pain privately and not let people know when I'm hurting. I didn't even want to admit I was in pain during labour because I didn't want any more attention on me. My family all knows that's how I am, and no one has ever mentioned being there. If I did want my mom there she would do it, but I know DH would pull the 'well why can your mom be there and not mine' card.... No effing way would I ever let my mil in the room.
I didn't want anyone to come to the hospital when DS was born. I didn't even stay 24hrs at the hospital, there was no reason to have people there. DH's family guilted us into letting them come.... And then they came to our house when we got home.... MIL actually came with a big thing of food, but it was to send home with BIL, nothing for us. My parents got to town when he was 3 days old, they stayed with us and did absolutely everything for us, I wanted them to stay forever.
This time I'm staying in the hospital as long as possible and hoping for no visitors. Hopefully my parents will come stay with us again, and the IL's will be too busy to come to our place after.
I did say 12-24 hours after birth for visiting family. I know they will provide meals and do anything I need them to at home. My aunts have already scheduled time off around my due date
With my second it was DH and doula.
This time, I am hoping it will be DH and my mom. Maybe MIL or my cousin who is studying to be a nurse.
BFP #5 11/15/14, Team Green EDD 7/22/15
BFP #4 4/30/13, baby girl born med-free Jan. 2014
BFP #3 9/24/12, Missed m/c at 9w1d (baby measured 8w5d)
BFP #2 9/23/10, healthy baby girl born med-free June 2011
BFP #1 5/21/10, Missed m/c at 10w4d (baby measured 8wks), D&C 6/29/10
"Life is like a camera, just focus on what's important and capture the good times, develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, just take another shot."
We'll let everyone know when we're up for visitors at the hospital. I'll probably want to see my parents right away but my ILs can wait a bit. They're wonderful people, but a lot for me to handle. They like to show up before the baby is due and just wait for the birth. I want those last few days to be just about me and DH and not be full of pressure from hosting them.
I feel like I was too dependant on him to be my everything for me the first time. I figured he'd be fine, even though I knew he doesn't do well in hospitals. It was unfair of me.
He has his strengths and that's what I'm playing to this time. I'm incredibly close to my mom, so she'll be there for the comfort. I'll have DH there for the strength. Physically and emotionally. He's a rock. My doula will be there for the distractions and the technical stuff. If complications hit, she'll be my less emotional party who knows my wishes and can help us remain calm and focused.
I'm pretty happy with this idea and DH and I talked and the relief on his face that he wouldn't be alone was huge.
I've thought about this a lot, and I think it's what will work best for us.