DD's best friend moved away

ppants

The kids returned to school this week.  DD found out her friend moved away and will no longer be attending her school.  DD is pretty disappointed and surprised because her friend hadn't mentioned a move.  We discussed that maybe her friend or even the parents weren't aware it was a possibility. 

DD is a nice, good girl and a "model student" per her teacher.  She gets along with everyone, but only has two (now one) close friend.  I asked about making more friends and she said a lot of kids in her grade (3rd) don't have the imagination that she does.  It seems like she may have a hard time finding something in common to build a friendship on. 

Any suggestions about helping her connect with more friends?  She does play a sport(summer softball), but doesn't have much interest in them beyond that.  She is on the shy/quiet side also. 

neverblushed

Time is your best ally in this situation.  I have found that through elementary grades my own children have tended to have one or two "besties."  While they both get along with kids and are generally well-regarded, they're not really in the market for new "best" friends... until something comes along and forces a change.

In your DD's situation, she probably hasn't really scoped out other classmates' potential because she didn't need to.  Now she may find that there actually are other kids who enjoy pretend play as much as she does.  Or she may content herself with just having one close friend for a while.

My DD had one best friend, L, in grades 1 through 3.  When she moved to a new school in 4th, she gradually lost contact with L and became friends with E.  Middle school social dynamics drew E and my kid to different friend groups.  My DD then developed a new best friend, R, and later in 7th grade joined a whole group of friends -- girls that R didn't particularly like!  It wasn't until about 8th grade that my child and her peers matured to the point that they could sustain being friends with many different people at the same time.  It sometimes worried me that my child would "latch onto" one friend at a time.  Now I know that it's pretty normal for kids to do that.

Your DD is grieving the loss of a friend now.  She will either become better friends with her one remaining pal, or she'll be forced to fill the void with a new friend.  Either way, her social interaction seems to be following a pretty typical elementary school pattern.  I wouldn't worry too much!

ppants

She seemed sad that she only has one friend. I want help her if possible, but certainly don't want to push her. It's good to hear this is typical. I'm an outgoing, friendly person so the shyness isn't something I'm personally familiar with. Thanks for your replies!

neverblushed

If she's sad and you want to help her make contact with other friends, there are two things you might do:

--shoot the teacher an email explaining what's going on and ask who, in the class, might be a good social match for your DD.  The teacher knows the kids pretty well by this time of year, and may have a sense of which kids would be the most likely friends for your child.  If the teacher knows about it, she may even be able to facilitate this by seating kids together or putting your DD with a likely buddy for group work.

--ask your DD if she'd like to invite a few girls to go to the movies or to another activity.  Not a party, just a fun outing.  See who, in addition to the one remaining friend, she would be most likely to invite.  Even if the outing never actually comes together, it may prompt your daughter to think about some other options, instead of just being sad about her friend's departure.