Sad re-intro (updates)

scrang74

Hi ladies,

I first intro-ed here back in April '14 whilst going through my 1st loss. I tried to be an active member, and am hoping I can join you all again. I am in the process of our 2nd loss...was scheduled for a D&C tomorow but I think my body decided to do this on its own. I have an appt in a little bit with my OB to see what's going on.

Because of my age and her feeling that our problem is chromosomal (2 MMC at 9weeks w/ no heartbeats ever detected), my OB recommended for us to head straight to a RE and be aggressive (IVF) with our next steps in TTC. I have made 2 appointments for the coming weeks with a small clinic and a slightly larger one so we have 2 doctors to choose from. Both are from personal recommendations from acquaintances who had success, so I'm pretty hopeful either one will be a good fit.

 I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed right now with the world of assisted reproduction opening up for us. I'm hoping I can learn from any of you seeing REs and make this transition a little less scray.

UPDATE 1: Had a 2nd ultrasound to see if I had miscarried on my own. No, so surgery still on for tmrw. But I did get my fears of a possible (in my own fantasyland) misdiagnosis taken care of-still no heartbeat and the sac starting to collapse. But the good news is that my OB really likes one of my RE choices and works with him often.

UPDATE 2: While at work tonight, I started to have some serious cramping. After my hour commute home (yeah, it sucks!), cramping continued getting stronger. Long story short, I miscarried naturally about an hour ago. So, thankful I don't need the D&C tmrw, but don't ever want to go through that again! Thanks for the warm welcome today and looking forward to continuing my journey with you wonderful ladies.

eliida

I'm so sorry to see you back here. (((Hugs)))

rmpar29

I'm so sorry to see you back here.  ((((HUGS)))  Yes, the world of REs is overwhelming and a bit scary, but there are many here that can support you through it.  I wish you the best of luck in finding a doc that will work for you. 

Nikolie93

I am so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself back here. *hug* 

I don't have any experience with an RE, my first appointment is the 21st. 

I hope this passes for you quickly and you don't need a D&C. 

CC1017

I'm so sorry for your losses. Welcome to the board.

Km380

I'm so sorry you are back here (((hugs)))

The RE is overwhelming, but lots of us can offer support on that topic. Gl meeting the drs.

mrspipp

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself back here. (((hugs)))

I agree with PP that the RE can be overwhelming at first, but so good in helping to move forward. 

rubysi

I am so sorry. The RE is overwhelming but can give some hope too. Good luck.

renegadewhit

I'm sorry for your loss and that you find yourself back here, but welcome. Good luck with the RE. I hope you get some good answers and that it's not too overwhelming.

Cheetara2

Sorry for your losses

catvaughn5002

I'm so sorry for your losses. Welcome back to the board.  I hope that you are able to find answers and make a plan with your new RE.

ellebelle2384

I'm so sorry for your losses. It is overwhelming at first but a RE can really help you figure out what's going on and form a plan with you. Good luck with your appts. (Hugs)

meredithcarole

I am sorry for your loss and that you find yourself back here. I hope you have good appointments and feel comfortable with the way forward. Welcome back.

LittleMrsW

I'm so sorry you're back here Scrang, Big ((hugs)).

scrang74

Thanks @PetraStonegirl Did the edit...i was checking out a few other boards and got my etiquettes mixed up.

NOBB14

So so sorry for your loss. Welcome back. hugs.

[Deleted User]

I'm sorry for your loss.

The RE can be a little scary at first and overwhelming with information, but after all the testing there's a lot of good information you'll receive and hopefully you'll come up with a plan you are happy with.

Elliecat17

I'm so sorry for your loss. ((hugs))

dandb925

I'm so sorry for your losses and that you're back here. I'm glad you're seeing an RE though. I agree with @jj32‌ - it helps to write everything down before your appointment because it can be overwhelming during the meeting.

stephy1221

I am so sorry for your losses and that you find yourself here again. I hope you find comfort here. Hugs.

lcwed

I'm so sorry you are back here again, but welcome.  I am glad you were able to go naturally and did not need the surgery.

FJM85

I'm so sorry for your loss.xx

laurenleigh17

I'm so so sorry about your losses. Glad to hear that your body was able to do what it needed to do, even though I know it was heartbreaking and traumatic to go through. 

MrsPhD83

I am so sorry for your loss. Welcome back.

daystardreams

I'm sorry for your losses and wanted to welcome you back to the board.

schuebja

I'm sorry for your losses. Welcome back to the board.

jordangoodnight

I'm so sorry for your losses. Welcome back.

mamadeux19

I'm sorry for your losses. Are you doing okay with the natural miscarriage?

VaBarnet

I am sorry for your loss... welcome and hugs...

kreardon11

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself back here. I'm glad you have a plan. 

Someone on here gave me some advice before going to the RE that I'm sure you're already aware of - call your insurance and get the details! For example - I'm seeing an RE on 1/20 myself and not everything is covered while at my visit. As far as IVF goes, I have a lifetime max of 4 tries. I have NO idea if this is an industry standard AT ALL, but I did want to share that knowledge with you. Most docs will check ahead of time, but I wouldn't want the additional shock of insurance stats at my first appt. GL OP and keep as posted!

scrang74

kreardon11 said:

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself back here. I'm glad you have a plan. 

Someone on here gave me some advice before going to the RE that I'm sure you're already aware of - call your insurance and get the details! For example - I'm seeing an RE on 1/20 myself and not everything is covered while at my visit. As far as IVF goes, I have a lifetime max of 4 tries. I have NO idea if this is an industry standard AT ALL, but I did want to share that knowledge with you. Most docs will check ahead of time, but I wouldn't want the additional shock of insurance stats at my first appt. GL OP and keep as posted!

I've called on 3 separate occasions to find out if I have any infertility coverage. A resounding big fat NO. Even when I had Cd3 testing at my OB a few months ago, I only got partial discounts (around 20%). DH checked his and while they could offer (and required to ONLY offer it by California law) infertility coverage, several employees would have to require it at once for the company to provide it (the law loophole!). So we'll be paying mostly out of pocket, ugh. The 2nd doctor we're interviewing is technically in-network as she's listed as a gynecologist, but she's not my 1st choice. Maybe once we weigh all the options and I can continue to at least get discounts with her, she may be the golden ticket. Thanks for the advice though

scrang74

mamadeux19 said:

I'm sorry for your losses. Are you doing okay with the natural miscarriage?

Yes, thanks for asking. Yesterday and today, it's just like having AF. The worst is behind me and this weekend will be spent on the couch with my dear friends Netflix and Haagen Daaz.

Nikolie93

scrang74 said:

kreardon11 said:

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself back here. I'm glad you have a plan. 

Someone on here gave me some advice before going to the RE that I'm sure you're already aware of - call your insurance and get the details! For example - I'm seeing an RE on 1/20 myself and not everything is covered while at my visit. As far as IVF goes, I have a lifetime max of 4 tries. I have NO idea if this is an industry standard AT ALL, but I did want to share that knowledge with you. Most docs will check ahead of time, but I wouldn't want the additional shock of insurance stats at my first appt. GL OP and keep as posted!

I've called on 3 separate occasions to find out if I have any infertility coverage. A resounding big fat NO. Even when I had Cd3 testing at my OB a few months ago, I only got partial discounts (around 20%). DH checked his and while they could offer (and required to ONLY offer it by California law) infertility coverage, several employees would have to require it at once for the company to provide it (the law loophole!). So we'll be paying mostly out of pocket, ugh. The 2nd doctor we're interviewing is technically in-network as she's listed as a gynecologist, but she's not my 1st choice. Maybe once we weigh all the options and I can continue to at least get discounts with her, she may be the golden ticket. Thanks for the advice though

@scrang74 I was told by my insurance that anything up to the diagnosis of infertility is covered. I have heard that some people get screwed because the Dr's office uses infertility diagnosis codes even if you haven't been diagnosed yet. I wonder if that's what happened with your CD3 test. 

I go to the RE for the first time on the 21st and I am scared of unexpected charges!

scrang74

@Nikolie93‌ Yes, that is exactly what happened!! So I'm not too hopeful for future discounts unless the new offices know not to code the tests that way. I'll definitely be asking at my consults. Let's compare notes after you go, our 1st appt is the 16th and the 2nd is the 29th.

Nikolie93

Ok, we should definitely stalk each other  

kreardon11

scrang74 said:

kreardon11 said:

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself back here. I'm glad you have a plan. 

Someone on here gave me some advice before going to the RE that I'm sure you're already aware of - call your insurance and get the details! For example - I'm seeing an RE on 1/20 myself and not everything is covered while at my visit. As far as IVF goes, I have a lifetime max of 4 tries. I have NO idea if this is an industry standard AT ALL, but I did want to share that knowledge with you. Most docs will check ahead of time, but I wouldn't want the additional shock of insurance stats at my first appt. GL OP and keep as posted!

I've called on 3 separate occasions to find out if I have any infertility coverage. A resounding big fat NO. Even when I had Cd3 testing at my OB a few months ago, I only got partial discounts (around 20%). DH checked his and while they could offer (and required to ONLY offer it by California law) infertility coverage, several employees would have to require it at once for the company to provide it (the law loophole!). So we'll be paying mostly out of pocket, ugh. The 2nd doctor we're interviewing is technically in-network as she's listed as a gynecologist, but she's not my 1st choice. Maybe once we weigh all the options and I can continue to at least get discounts with her, she may be the golden ticket. Thanks for the advice though

Crap! 

mamadeux19

scrang74 said:

mamadeux19 said:

I'm sorry for your losses. Are you doing okay with the natural miscarriage?

Yes, thanks for asking. Yesterday and today, it's just like having AF. The worst is behind me and this weekend will be spent on the couch with my dear friends Netflix and Haagen Daaz.

That's good news. Rest as much as you can and enjoy the ice cream. The first day is really the worst part. After that, it's not too bad physically.

KirstenAlecia

So sorry for your loss.  

rslh10

Late to the game, but welcome. I'm so sorry you find yourself back here. ((hugs))