Sorry I've been MIA

Hi ladies,

The past few months have been frustrating in our foster to adopt journey and I've really tried to focus more on getting ready for the arrival of the little man in my belly.  So, I haven't been on here much as I felt like all I wanted to was whine about our court hearings and even I haven't wanted to listen to it!!  We finally finished up our initial appearance hearing this morning, so I'm back in a happier place in our adventure.  This should have been done back in August and we've been having monthly hearings to try to get it resolved.  I'm happy that we don't have court again until June!!

I've missed you all and am enjoying catching up on your stories.  I hope to be back on here much more.

Yours apologetically for being a crappy online participant,




Re: Sorry I've been MIA

  • Forgiven ;-)

    But really, I think we all need breaks from the adoption community here and there. FWIW, I never thought you were whiny and I think we all go through more needy and more giving stages.

    Glad things are progressing! What's next?
    Birthmom to A, 1/8- the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

    A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao-Tzu

  • Feel free to vent about all your court stuff.  It is annoying, but we understand. :)  Glad you're back!
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  • (and I meant the court stuff was annoying, not the venting about it!)
  • I was wondering about you. Glad to see that things may be progressing more positively.
  • Thanks ladies, you really are a wonderful group!  So the good news with the first permanancy hearing done is that we are pursuing dual placement options: reunification and adoption.  Usually at the first hearing they only recommend reunification.  It means the judge has noted the pattern of birthparent behavior and is trying to move forward.

    Now for the wrinkles...

    1. BF is looking to have E placed with his niece in Chicago.  She is apparently willing to take placement, but only if it leads to adoption.  She will not consider if it is only for a transfer of guardianship.  Apparently she doesn't have a verifable source of income, so she would be unlikely to qualify as a foster home...excluding her from being an adoptive resource.  Plus, this would take E away from her older biologocial siblings who live 5 minutes from us now.

    2. BM is looking to have visitation with E.  While I'm not against visitations, she is not reliable to get in touch with and I don't think it's good for E to have her show up randomly once every six months.  Apparently the case manager agrees and has said she will not start setting up visits until she can be contacted regularly.  Now, let's all keep in mind, there is currently a warrant out for her arrest...which she has been dodging since September.  At some point, she is going to have to face this and will be likely going to jail for quite some time.

    On a related note, she apparently told the case worker she doesn't feel like she knows us, which is making this placement harder for her.  WELL DUH!!  You've been MIA since the middle of July, which was the only occassion I had to meet you.  You've created this situation to not be able to know us.  If you had made requests for pictures and letters, we would have been happy to accomodate that.  But after keeping a journal for you for a couple of months that you never read, I just assumed you didn't want to hear from us.

    It's Jekyll and Hyde somedays with this fostering thing!


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