Dadchelorette Party? What the Flying F++k?!

scottstots

My husband went to the recent Green Bay/Detroit football game for the weekend with some guys and got drunk all weekend, PLUS he gets a sober cab for 9+ months. Pretty sure he is all set on the dadchelor thing.

I will say that being this early in the pregnancy with no worry of labor in the near future, I loved the alone time to just spend with myself in my pjs with no plans.

effthisnoise

I'd cut your husband some slack since this wasn't his idea in the first place, even if he embraced it. Let him know that a fun-filled weekend away does not equal a baby shower. If he wants a weekend, you get a weekend (without being pregnant and without the baby). I'd bet that he's most excited about spending time with his friends and doesn't care about it being a "last hurrah" type thing. I'd say that it would have to be more than a month before the due date, no strippers, and fall within a pre-determined budget because it is NOT a bachelor party.

taboullio84

Sounds like a fun idea for him. I would let him go. And when I needed a break... I would ask for my break... Sucks for him he picked a time he didn't need it. Lol I never heard of this though

littlechemist

turtletyme said:

The next 5 1/2 to 6 months are his dadchelor party.

This! 

DH has a permanent designated driver for 9 months (not including the restrictions while BFing after that) which he has been more than happy to take advantage of. 

Katerina&Baby

I haven't heard of this but if DH wanted to have a weekend with the guys down in Florida to golf and go out to dinner, I'd encourage it (that's DH's style for bachelor parties). While it's true that it's pretty exhausting making a human, DH picks up a TON of slack because I'm just too tired to do things that I normally do like clean the kitchen or take the dogs for a walk in the morning. So if he wanted to take a mini vacation over a long weekend, I really don't see what the big deal is. It didn't cheapen our relationship or marriage when he went for a bachelor party so why would it be inappropriate now?

dkleid

Im going to say NO...DH will have his day alone 3 weeks post my EDD when I am in a wedding and he will have about 6 hours to himself when I am with the girls getting ready for the wedding with the bride.  He will get to go back to sleep and relax. Other then that,  nope. It takes two to tango. I cant remove the baby from my body for 24 hours to go out for one crazy night drinking, he doesn't get one either.  I think this is your DH';s buddy's idea that hes going to lose his friend forever since you guys are having a baby.  If it really bothers you, I would tell him no. 

jessila9

I've heard of a kind-of-sort-of baby shower for the dad where he and his guy friends hang out together. I think my cousin-in-law had one. It was a man only BBQ where all his friends brought him diapers. This sounds like a good idea to me...diapers are expensive.
But I haven't heard of a long weekend type thing.

Belle0720

I know that I've heard the term 'dadchelor party' but I don't know anyone who has actually done one, so I'm not sure where I heard it from.

I'd be fine with H doing a guys night out, but if we're talking about a weekend in Vegas then definitely not.

My girlfriends and I did a spa day before one of our friend's due dates. And we've talked about doing one before my due date (as well as my other friend who is pregnant--it will probably be combined since our dates are so close).

Our babymoon is really what H and I are looking forward to though!

Schnurette

Lol I had actually suggested DH should do something like this (not as "crazy" as bachelor parties get but still a party with beers and his friends) at our place before we had DD but he didn't go for it.

My thought process was that from here on out when he is with his buddies I'm probably at home with baby...so he and his buddies won't be drinking and acting crazy at our house and I wanted him to have another kick at that can before the baby came (I was going to go away for the night).

housewifebecomesher

sensitivesally said:

I would be totally on board with this idea--as long as you got a mom version too. Baby shower is for the baby, that doesn't count. I totally agree with your perspective. Honestly, I have never heard the term dad-chelorette, but I think it's good for both parents to get some non-parent time even after baby is born.

Oh, hell yes, mom should get one too! But maybe after the baby is here so there can be liquor involved! @MrsCaliRN‌, not to downplay your feelings or anything (I totally get it) but I am totally loving your rage here -- I haven't seen you do that before!! Get it!!

This is 100% what I was going to say!  It's a total fair trade, he just has to be willing to babysit a newborn for the weekend.  Maybe that will make him realize the absurdity of the whole thing!

GASuzuki

My last two cents: If you are going to be breastfeeding, you likely won't want to leave for a weekend away from the baby. You'd be pumping away from home and if your supply dips for any reason, you would feel guilty, even if that's not why supply decreases.

housewifebecomesher

brennazesquire said:

I don't get the idea of a weekend away from baby...I'd still prefer a pregnant weekend off, because I'm a clingy, hopefully breastfeeding mom who won't want to be away for that long. A weekend at a resort with spa treatment when I'm achy and uncomfortably pregnant? Hell yes! That I consider a fair trade for a weekend camping trip or whatever for DH. Still no to the strippers, but I wouldn't worry about it with DH anyway.

It's a good point. I am a jaded STM who needs a real vacation and misses wine too much. I think the spa day is a fine idea too!

AlyLynn07

I would be ok with him having time with his friends before baby arrives, but a stag-like party is ridiculous (esp as he already had one). Time to grow up! He is already a dad, even though baby is not yet out! I would remind him how tough it is/will be for mom and that you deserve some time for yourself and your friends. Spa day anyone??

lfaithlove

..........RIIIIIIGHT because dad's never get to go out with the guys a do fun stuff after a baby is born...........





*please oh please oh please work, GIF!*

ETA: BLAST. It didn't work. I will never get this gif business.

BaytoSA2013

In our friend group, the guys get a diaper bash the same day that the girls have the shower.  They usually go to a restaurant/sports bar type place or someone's house and drink beer, play cards and all the guys bring a pack of diapers (awesome!)  it's definitely NOT a free for all/shit faced kind of outing. 

I told the hubs about a push present and he didn't believe it was a "thing" and asked what did HE get.  I replied "you get a baby, I will hand you our girl and say look what I made you honey!!!"

Ladymouse

I usually encourage DH to enjoy a night out with friends.  But no on the Dadchelor party.  I mean, WTH?  He drinks whisky almost nightly, I'm always DD - even when I'm puking on the way to the car, he's gotten up with DS three times in 2 years (I do so nightly), and he knows he's welcome to go out whenever.  He does plan on sending me on my own to a hotel near my due date, and we do plan on going to Myrtle Beach for a weekend in May (it's a day trip for us.  Swimming in the third tri is great.)

Also, he knows I plan on taking the kids on vacation for a week when they are old enough. to be be sleeping reasonably well.

ombradellarosa

I had a thing with the dadchelor party but I forgot it. But what I wanted to say is that this nonsense about guys getting an equivalent push present is madness. The whole point of the PUSH present is that it was the woman who had to PUSH! Hellooooo! You force a watermelon out of a quarter sized hole and I'll buy you a present.