Advice on supplementing for coworker?

et170322

Hi all - busy day at work, but I have a coworker stressed about her milk supply and she keeps coming in to vent to me about it so I thought I'd ask input from you ladies. My coworker's daughter is 6 months old, and has been strictly BF since birth. Along with multiple other personal issues (horrible husband with a gambling addiction, bad marriage), my coworker is stressed that her supply just isn't cutting it for her growing daughter, and this stress isn't helping the supply much either. I think she is prone to comparing herself to me and others with babies, and since she saw me being able to EP for a year, she thinks she should have to do that as well. I keep stressing that I had to supplement for the first 3 months of LO's life, and that we are now in the process of weaning her off my milk and onto WCM, per recommendation of our pediatrician and my desire to be done pumping. I want to get it across to her that supplementing with formula isn't a failure, and if she's completely stressing about production it's ruining her quality of life (and my work productivity, but I won't go there with her because that's just me being snarky). I even gave her a formula sample that I had leftover, and said that it's just to have as a backup for peace of mind in case she isn't able to pump enough for daycare one day. For me, it helped to always have formula handy, in case I had a bad day - better formula than an angry hungry baby, in my opinion. I think she feels her only control in life is how she is able to care for her daughter, and maybe having her supply feels like a complete failure? Ugh, I'm an accountant, not a therapist and I'm out of my depth here.

What advice do you have/were you given when you decided or were forced to supplement? I'm not a very good advice giver, I do try to listen lots but I really want to help her realize that if she's stressing this much it's not helping anything. TIA!

Flyingtoast

Can she go to a LLL meeting or other breastfeeding support group/meet up? She should be able to connect with a support person (read not you) there.

magentawarped

If you recommend a meeting, make sure to research it first. Some LLL chapters can be real crazy about BFing and may make her feel worse about supplementing.

Flyingtoast

@magentawarped‌ True. I am used to how supportive the groups are near me. But some groups, leaders care more about themselves then helping those struggling An AP (attachment parenting) might also be a resource.

et170322

We live in a really rural community (around 500 residents) that has no LLL, and in the past when I've steered her to an LC at our hospital (an hour away) she has been really leery - she won't even call them, even though they are very available via phone.  She is the type to read through mountains of online board posts rather than call a professional (not like I'm not a champion board lurker by any means) and tries to fit her situation into someone else's. I'm just going to continue to be supportive, but not sure if I can handle more hours wasted hearing her say "I just don't know what to do, my supply is horrible, I'm losing sleep, etc." Tired me is thinking "just get over it, formula isn't poison!", while rational me is thinking "be nice, she's having a hard time." Time for more caffeine and my patient face... 

magentawarped

You could always send her to us.