Question for f14 about expecting again.

MoxyByProxy

I was going to post this in the KU thread but I didn't want to ruin anyones happy announcements.

For those who are unexpectedly expecting again - do/did you find it hard to connect vs how you did with now outside baby?

I'm having the hardest time. I cant think of names, I never feel him move bc of anterior placenta.. and I never got the "fever" before our surpise bfp. It is completely different than how I felt expecting E!


For those who have been there done that..
I checked out the 2 under 2 page but I am feeling overwelmed! This LO is due in may. I have tons of clothes that SHOULD work.. but I just can't fathom what life will be like just a few months from now.

My fam kind of pokes at me and makes jokes about how covered in puke and crap I'll be and it just makes me feel even less prepared.

I feel clueless lol do i buy a new crib now or wait? Should I take the plunge and get a double stroller? Can I really do this!?

dizzycooks

1. Absolutely get a double stroller.  I wasn't sure if I needed one (mine girls are 25 months apart) and I am so glad I got it.  Any less age difference and I'd definitely get one.

2. Depending on when you want to move baby #1 to a bed you might be able to get away with keeping the new baby in a pack n play or bassiet in your room for a few months.  We put our dd1 in a twin bed at 19 months and she was fine.  She was also an excellent sleeper, my dd2 is not so that would change my choices probably.

3. I had baby fever, but we had a harder time getting names.  I had a harder time bonding with dd2 and in some ways still do.  She's a tough baby and I am overwhelmed.  I think I had some baby blues as well and I didn't deal with them right away.  

As far as poop and puke.  Screw them.  That's not helpful.  I am neither covered in poop or puke.  Are things messy and crazy?  Yes, absolutely, but that is life with a toddler and baby.  You will do great!

shellbell3845

I have no advice because I'm not KU, but mama, you can absolutely do this! Don't question your ability to handle this for one single second, and don't let others make you feel like you can't.

Fwiw, I didn't feel especially "connected" to LO while he was inside. I mean, I loved him and was eager to meet him, but it was a very abstract thing. The real connection was made, for me, when he was born.

I hope you get some great answers to your questions. We're here for you!

MoxyByProxy

Ty dizzy! I really appreciate it!

I have two much older boys but they were 3 years apart! There is a 12 year gap between them so I felt like I was a ftm with E as it was.

Mazingmommyof6

Baby number 6 was a huge surprise and I would up doing the whole pregnancy and the rest alone. No problem connecting. She's the light of my life. Sending you hugs

nebraska84

You can do this! DS1 and DS2 are two years apart...as for things.

Yes, get some sort of double stroller. We have a double jogging stroller and a double sit and stand baby trend. Both we use, and are handy.

DS2 was in our room for the first 6 months in the rock n sleeper and pack in play. I would wait on buying  another crib until your LO is here. We didn't move DS1 until a big boy bed until he was 2 1/2, so you may still need two cribs but you can make that decision after the baby is here.

Hang in there, you will be Okay!

MoxyByProxy

Thanks ladies!

That makes me feel tons better!

MoxyByProxy

Wow ty @paulheath‌ everyone's responses have been awesome but tyvm for your incite!

I hope you have a smooth birth!!

All the ladies here including you have my mind more at ease!

I really do think it's the unknowns and I had to chuckle at the forgetting! We have been doing house renos, working Ft, and just learning and experiencing E so yeah.. im guilty on that!


It's just a day at a time here lately. I'm trying to soak up the fun of having E without worrying about what comes in may but its hard. I want to be prepared but I guess the best preparation is going to be understanding that life will be crazy messy love and to roll with it! Lol

Karlamo

You so can do this!  PP have given lots of good advice.  Sometimes people just...suck.  They don't know what to say and they feel the need to say some smart remark which is rude.  My SIL already has said to us "boy you're brave having another one when R doesn't STTN".  

There is so much anxiety about how life will change having another baby around that I think it's normal to feel less connected and that in turn leaves you worried if you'll bond with them.  I bet once they are here all of that will melt away.  But I could also see that bonding taking time since you are being pulled in a million different directions. 

 Maybe we need to start a little " So you had another baby" support thread  around here.

dizzycooks

Karlamo said:

You so can do this!  PP have given lots of good advice.  Sometimes people just...suck.  They don't know what to say and they feel the need to say some smart remark which is rude.  My SIL already has said to us "boy you're brave having another one when R doesn't STTN".  

There is so much anxiety about how life will change having another baby around that I think it's normal to feel less connected and that in turn leaves you worried if you'll bond with them.  I bet once they are here all of that will melt away.  But I could also see that bonding taking time since you are being pulled in a million different directions. 

 Maybe we need to start a little " So you had another baby" support thread  around here.

We want a 3rd and I've already decided I want to get pregnant again before I remember what sleep is.  I got too much sleep with dd1.  Dd2 doesn't sleep worth shit.  I don't want to remember what sleep is again until I can have it consistently.

mfou1115

Hi There! I haven't posted much, but I can definitely relate and want to offer up my support. Quick back story... We got pregnant with DD (my F14 baby), when DS was 4 months old. I actually didnt find out until I was a little over 6 weeks along, as I was BFing and didn't have a real period, just some spotting in early May, which turned out to be a period. It was not planned and caught us by complete surprise, as it took 18 month to conceive DS. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! It honestly was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Coming up on one year, I can see that the harder days are coming now that DD is mobile and DS has entered a "MINE!" stage. But, with everything, this too shall pass. 

For those who are unexpectedly expecting again - do/did you find it hard to connect vs how you did with now outside baby?  I found it so hard to connect with the pregnancy, mostly because I didnt have time to think about it! I was so consumed with DS and his needs. I started to feel really bad about it and thought that I would have a hard time connecting once she was "outside". But honestly, when she arrived, she immediately felt like part of our family and we never skipped a beat. I made a point that when DH was home, that he spent time with DS and I would take her in the bedroom and have a quiet feeding and snuggle.

I'm having the hardest time. I cant think of names, I never feel him move bc of anterior placenta.. and I never got the "fever" before our surpise bfp. It is completely different than how I felt expecting E!


For those who have been there done that..
I checked out the 2 under 2 page but I am feeling overwelmed! This LO is due in may. I have tons of clothes that SHOULD work.. but I just can't fathom what life will be like just a few months from now. -- Super overwhelming over there. Stick to what you know! lol Don't worry about the clothes right now. Did you separate your 1st LO's newborn, 0-3 stuff? Just pull that out, you can worry about the rest later. They really dont need much. 

My fam kind of pokes at me and makes jokes about how covered in puke and crap I'll be and it just makes me feel even less prepared. --- Let them make jokes! Jokes on them when you are owning 2u2!!! But honestly, are you covered in puke and poop now or when LO was little? I'm sure you really arent, and will not be. 

I feel clueless lol do i buy a new crib now or wait? DD slept in the Pack and play in our room until about 10 weeks or so, then we put the kids in same room. I did buy her a crib, but didnt until the week we were moving them. I also bought a beautiful, white crib off of Amazon for $180 and the mattress for $45. Its very financially do-able. 

 Should I take the plunge and get a double stroller? I had too. Being only 13 months apart, DS wasnt even walking when she was born. He stayed in daycare 2 days a week while I was on maternity leave. So at that point, I would wear her, and put him in the single stroller. But once I went back to work and had to bring all their stuff, I had to have the stroller. I got the Britax B-Agile Double Stroller. I LOVE IT!!!! I like them side by side, being so close in age. It fits in any door, I bring it to the docs office, food shopping, anywhere. I get some looks but who cares?! I got a great deal using my Kohls card and a 30% off coupon, free shipping and got Kohls cash (which I used to purchase sheets for her crib, which we got right around the same time)

Can I really do this!? Yep! You can. You have no choice, really. I dont mean that in a bad way, but we are Mom's!!! We power through and survive!!! 

Honestly, Its a whirl wind, but so fun. Now that we have done it this way, I couldnt imagine having them any further apart! 

Please message me any time! :-)

MoxyByProxy

I cant say enough how amazing you all are!

I started the thread thinking I was whining but its good to know that It's sort of normal to worry and feel these things.

I am so glad others mentioned just not having time to really focus on being pg. I thought maybe there was something wrong with me. Lol

I'm also glad I'm not the only one who questions why moms/women don't talk about these sort of things!? I don't have any close girlfriends who are in my situation. . In fact all my same age friends are pushing their kiddos through middle school or high school so I the responses are mixed there with the whistle and.. whew better you than me reactions.. or the typical wow you'll have your hands full.

I feel more solid NOW after all the awesome responses. So again.. ty all very much!