What did you ask expectant Mom? or what do you as a birth mother think are good questions?

Rachel7181981

When you were matched, did you ask the parents reasons they were placing their child? Or how the agency was towards them as far as providing them with resources to parent if they decided? Can you turn down a placement without good reason...if it just doesn't feel right for you? 

Rachel7181981

Yes there are a few reasons. I am reviewing my agency online and until today had not found anything negative.  Now it found a few sites that some are birth mothers felt they weren't well counseled before hand.  I have already put a great deal of money in and really can't switch.  I'd like to do what I can to make sure it was all handled properly.  Sorry if I am annoying with my repeat posts? I guess I just post when I think of something and didn't realize it was so similar to something else I posted. 

bookworm92

The PAP's I'm working with let me lead the conversation. They didn't really ask too many questions, and the questions they asked weren't of a super personal nature. They let me bring up all the personal stuff myself! I wouldn't ask either of those questions honestly. You could ask about the agency, but I let them know within the first few emails how happy I was with the agency we had worked with. 

I would turn down a placement that doesn't feel right for you. I had worked with an agency and talked to a set of AP's, but it just didn't fit right. I soon stopped working with that agency and found one that has been amazing. As soon as I saw my son's PAP's I just knew it felt right. After their first email, it was sealed for me. I really see them as his parents already. I'm glad that they felt the same about me, and it was a good match. If they had been hesitant, I would have known it wasn't the right match for me or my son. Trust your gut,. 

Good luck!! 

Dr.Loretta

We didn't ask about resources or counseling. Our agency had already given us examples of that.

We came across some negative stuff online as well. But to be frank, these are questions you should be asking your agency, not expectant parents. We asked our SW some hard questions and were satisfied with her answers.

Doing an end run around the agency by asking questions of e-parents is a bad idea IMO.

Take any online reviews with a grain of salt.

We could turn down placements outside our profile preferences. But if everything lined up, I believe we could only turn down one placement or else we were out of the program. It was a way for the agency to keep people from gaming the system

Rachel7181981

Thanks so much! We have a call this week.  I didnt even think how that could add extra stress to an expectant mom already dealing with so much.