Intro and opinions

jlinke926

Hi Everyone!

I have been lurking for a few weeks and decided it was time to post an intro and give a little bit of background on my TTC history and ask for your opinions in the same post in an effort to not repeat myself later. So here goes...

In early July I got my first BFP and DH and I were extatic! Everything was going great until we went for our first ultrasound at 10 weeks where my dr did not find a heartbeat. The baby had developed to 10 weeks and my dr thought a d&c was the best option for how far along I was, so I opted for this route. I went in for the procedure on August 8, when I went for my follow up the dr found that there was quite a bit of tissue left and something needed to be done. She gave the option of misoprostol or another D&C. I opted for the misoprostol which didn't work and I ended up needing to have the d&c redone. This means I had 2 D&Cs in one week. Needless to say I did not go back to that Dr, but that's a whole different story.

I was told to wait one full cycle before we TTC again. I had a cycle in September so we tried that month which resulted in a BFP in early October. I knew something was not right right away. I started to miscarry naturally in mid October which was only 3 weeks in. I went to a new Dr. and she thinks that my body was just not ready to carry a pregnancy after the trauma to my uterus after the 2 D&Cs and did not think testing was necessary yet. She then told me to wait 2 cycles this time.

I did not have a period until just a few weeks ago which would be my first cycle since the second miscarriage. I am expected to have my second cycle in the middle of this month to where we could start trying at the end of this month (according to my tracking and dr advise).

I did make a dr appointment for later this month to just talk through all of this with my dr just to make sure she is still of the opinion that a 2 cycle wait is enough but I wanted to reach out to you ladies and get your opinions or see if anyone has had any similar situations. I just don't want to try again too soon but at the same time, we want a baby so bad we don't want to wait either.

I look forward to getting to know you ladies as well as hearing any feedback you may have! If you have made it this far, thanks for listening!!

rubysi

Welcome. I am sorry for your losses. I do not have experience with a d&c so I do not have any advice. I would either call your dr or wait until your appointment. One more cycle would not be bad to allow your body and mind time to heal. Hugs.

lcwed

I'm sorry for your losses.  I had a D&C with my first loss.  We were given the okay to try whenever we were ready, but it still took us 4 cycles to get pregnant again.  I would say waiting one more month wouldn't hurt because it seems it took my body at least 3 months to heal.

dandb925

Hi and welcome to the board. I'm so sorry for your losses.

After my first D&C, my RE said to wait two cycles. She also tracked my beta down to zero and then performed a saline sonogram, which revealed retained tissue. I had a hysteroscopy and another D&C the beginning of June 2014. My RE gave me the ok to try in July after the second saline sonogram revealed all was ok. When we met with the RE after our second loss in October, I made sure to ask her if the second loss happened because my body hadn't healed sufficiently from the prior surgeries (DH thought this was the reason). She shot that theory down. We got the ok to start trying this month and it's again been two cycles.

Did your doctor perform any tests (saline sonogram/HSG) to see how your body has healed since your D&C's? If not, I would highly recommend asking. There's the possibility of scarring with multiple D&C's.

Also, we all understand the want for a baby, but it is very important to listen to your doctor and to give yourself time to grieve and heal. This board is a great place to give and get support.

Nikolie93

I'm sorry for your losses but welcome to the board.

I understand that you may be ready to jump back in to trying again but it's important to listen to your Dr and make sure you give your body time to heal.

Good luck!

imnotfancy

I'm so sorry for you loss! Be patient with yourself and your body.

AFM, I had my first d&c Dec 5 at 8 weeks (my first pregnancy also) and my OB recommended I wait 2 cycles before getting pregnant again for physical and emotional healing. He also said he does NOT believe the research shows an increased risk for subsequent MC for my particular situation if I did get pregnant again right away. So, not to fret if I did.

IMO, I would rather wait 2 cycles (even though my desire for a baby is as strong as everyone here on this board) just to make sure my body is ready. I fear more a subsequent loss than having to wait an extra month. Hearing your story reaffirms my perspective to continue TTA for 2 cycles.

Your body has been through A LOT with 2 d&cs and a subsequent mc. I am Surprised your first dr only recommended 1 cycle after your first loss/surgeries. I'm not surprised your new dr recommended 2 cycles this time, if not 3... I'm sorry, I know that sounds like a LONG time. I think going to see your dr again is a great idea since you're concerned if you should wait a little longer.

Have you considered seeing and RE? I know some will see you after 2 losses.

I hope your body heals quickly

Km380

I'm sorry for your losses, welcome. If you are hesitant I would say wait another cycle until you talk to the dr. Fwiw, some REs will see you after 2 losses if that is something you want to do. Just have them check your insurance as insurance may have different guidelines for covering it (3 losses or based on amount of time ttc and your age)

catvaughn5002

Welcome to the board. Unfortunately, I have no advice to add besides make sure you are healed emotionally before trying again. ((Hugs))

renegadewhit

I'm sorry for your losses. I don't have any experience with D&C or advice, but I wanted to welcome you to the board.

rslh10

Welcome and I'm so sorry for your losses. Have you been here before? Weird I know, but your dress looks familiar.

stephy1221

I am sorry for your losses. Welcome to the board.

meredithcarole

I am sorry for your losses. Welcome.

[Deleted User]

I'm sorry for your loss.   After my D&C my doctor told me it was fine to try again after my first post D&C period.  

rmpar29

I'm very sorry for your loss.  The only one that can tell you if it's safe to try again is your doctor.  If she/he said to wait 2 cycles then I would wait at least 2 cycles.  You also have to factor in your emotional health and whether you are ready emotionally to try again.  Just because your doc says that your body is ready doesn't mean you have to try right away. 

Good luck with your appointment. 

CC1017

I don't have any advice. Just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board.

Cheetara2

Sorry for your losses. Welcome!

Littleowl913

I'm sorry for your losses. Even though my doctor gave us the go ahead to start trying again, something inside me is telling me to wait. If you feel unsure, waiting another month would give you better peace of mind. 

peregrinefalconx

Most doctors air on the side of waiting 2-3 cycles. I had one RE say that 1 is enough, while plenty of other people (according to Dr. Google) get pregnant like 2 seconds (ok, weeks) after the end of the miscarriage. In my personal opinion, you should wait. Having M after M is lousy. Yes, it feels difficult to not have babymaking sex, but I would give your body a break. You want the best womb you can get to give your baby the best chance, IMHO.

KirstenAlecia

Im so sorry for your loss. Welcome. 

TheAerialist

I think the PP have it all covered on the advice front, but I was also surprised to hear that after the trauma of TWO D&C's you were asked to only wait one cycle!  Every woman is different, but I am glad you have a new doctor!

 

purplehaze11

Welcome, and I'm so sorry for your losses. I had a miscarriages and a d&c in April, and was advised to wait 2 cycles, which we did. I got pregnant that following cycle, which also ended in miscarriage. After that loss, I pushed for testing and making sure my uterus healed. We are on our first cycle ttc after 5 months on the bench.

jordangoodnight

Welcome. I'm sorry for your losses. I haven't had a D&C so I can't answer your question. I think talking to your doctor again sounds like a good idea though.

jlinke926

Hi Ladies, Thank you all for your kind words and advice. I apologize for not being able to get on here sooner. The flu had me down for the count for a week!! 

I can say that I feel like my body is in a much better place now than after the first MC (2 D&Cs) in August. Looking back on it, I think I kind of knew my body was not ready to try again, but my Dr. told us to wait one cycle, so we did and figured if there was a reason to wait another cycle, my Dr. would have told me to wait longer, but with that being my first pregnancy and miscarriage, I had no idea what I was supposed to feel like! Just another reason that I will no longer be going to that Dr. 

@dandb925- I did not know there was testing that could be done. I will be sure to ask about this at my appointment!

I will say that after my 2nd MC, my new Dr. did test my betas down to zero and that was in the beginning of October. I did not start my 1st cycle post 2nd MC until late last month, so we will see if I have a second regular cycle and go from there (with Dr go ahead of course). 

I do have one extra little wrinkle in this scenario. My little sister just set a date for her wedding and it is the first week in December in PUNTA CANTA. On the outside I am super excited for her, but on the inside my first thought was "Man, this really screws me"...either I am going to have a newborn, or possibly be pregnant. Going to a foreign country while pregnant doesn't really sound appealing to me nor does leaving a newborn. She has made some comments to me about waiting to try until later this summer so that I will be able to make it to her wedding. This is heartbreaking to me. We are super close AND lost our Mom a few years ago, so I am the closest thing she has to that. I would feel awful missing her wedding, but I have to put myself and my family first. I can not put my life on hold her her one day wedding. We are currently not seeing eye to eye on this and have agreed to both move forward with our own plans let let whatever happens, happen. It is just so hard to hear someone say to you "Cant you just wait a few more months" when I have been through 2 MC in the past 6 months. I know I cant revolve a pregnancy around her, but it is always in the back of my mind when I think about trying again

Nikolie93

I am team "move forward with your TTC and what happens will happen". I have put SO much of my life on hold during this TTC journey and it's not fair that people ask us to do so. Besides, you could end up resenting your sister if you hold off for her. 

I understand you are close and it's her wedding (some people have blinders on when it comes to "their" day) but it's not fair for her to ask you that. You should turn around and ask her to put her wedding on hold until it's convenient to the things going on in your life or tell her to have the wedding close to home so you can definitely be there Besides, even if you start trying a bit later, you may not be in a spot where you want to travel if you're pregnant. 

Sorry, I can be somewhat passionate when it comes to other people wanting me to plan my life around them.