Due Date This Week! Looking for Advice.

We were matched about 2 weeks ago, and the due date is fast approaching (January 7)!
Needless to say we have spent a lot of time preparing.  Thank goodness I am a teacher, and have been off from school.

I have a few questions-

1. Meeting with EM-.
  •  I remember seeing that some of you had given necklaces, and or lockets. Do you have any recommendations? (We gave EM flowers and photo albums when we first met. But I would like to give her something that would be more of a keepsake.)
  • Also- does anyone have any advice with interactions at the hospital? (Our agency gave us some advice, but this board has given me the best advice throughout this whole process- I can always use more)

2. Notifying People-  We live in PA- (30 revocation period, and we have to wait 72 hours until TPR)  I know a lot of people don't tell anyone until after the recovation period has ended. I dont think I will be able to go missing from work with no explanation for over a month.   I have never taken so much as a sick day, so even after 1 day people are going to talk.  I kind of want to "control the story" So does anyone have any advice here?


"Even miracles take a little time"

[Deleted User]

Re: Due Date This Week! Looking for Advice.

  • 1. Red Envelope has some nice jewelry ideas. You may also want to consider a hospital care package: Robe, slippers, etc

    I have no advice about hospital interactions. DD was an emergency placement, so we spent maybe 3 hours total at the hospital, mostly with her birth mom

    2. We adopted in PA as well. Work knew well in advance that we were adopting, and could leave at any time. I wanted all my ducks lined up in case my CWs had to step in. I told my boss we were adopting, and it could happen any time. He was very supportive. I also told a handful of CWs I was close with, including one who had adopted as well.
  • Very exciting! I took a journal and wrote down things that happened at the hospital, times, visitors, etc. Our BM spent a lot of time with the baby, she had her own visitors, we were allowed in her room, but gave her as much space as possible. We took pictures for her and with her. It was a very hard few days, we really didn't even get to hold the baby during that time. We took the go-with-the-flow approach and it really did work out, the emotions and anxiety I can't even give advice on. All in all we had a wonderful experience. We live 1 1/2 hours away and she wanted us to stay close so we slept on a couch at the hospital for those few days (with no blankets or pillows I might add). We gave a heart necklace with the babies initials on the back and a quote on the front we had engraved at Things Remembered. However we gave that as a birthday gift to her and not at the hospital. We didn't make any public announcement until after TPR which actually took about 7 days, but those close to us knew, although we didn't share pictures with anyone for those 7 days. Our immediate families came to visit at the house during those days though. We didn't want to miss out on sharing that wonderful news immediately but were also very hesitant in how and who we did. Our BM even gave me a bracelet to visit the baby in the nursery while we were there, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, I didn't want to be in there with him and her come in and see that, I felt that it would break her heart. I was very respectful of the decision she was making, I wanted to be as supportive as I could, but all I wanted to do was snuggle him right up! Good luck with everything, I hope you have a wonderful experience!
    [Deleted User]
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  • We gave BM1 a necklace we bought off etsy, that said "I carry your heart in my heart" and a photo album. We gave these to her prior to TPR (mostly to calm her fears that the sw in the hospital gave her of us cutting off any communication after she places with us), because we knew she would be heading out immediately after. As for the hospital, I journaled the whole experience. Bring more clothes than you think, and a sweatshirt. DD ended up going into the NICU, which we were not prepared for. As far as telling people, work knew we were planning to adopt, and most friends. We told a handful of people after our match, including work. In my state there is no revocation period, so once TPR occurred, we told the world!
    I became a mother because of adoption. She is the absolute love of my life. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker formerly known as sw_in_kc
  • A's parents gave me a heart Lockett with her initials on the back. I love it because I carry a picture of her close to my heart at all times, and highly recommend that route.

    They also gave me a photo album for Valentine's Day.

    As for the hospital- are you going to be there for the birth? The biggest thing I can say is to be there for her and be happy and excited for that baby. It's hard to enjoy a baby you love with every fiber of your being but know you won't be taking home, and seeing A's parent's joy and excitement made it better. They were there almost all day every day, but offered me privacy numerous times. When A had to go to the nursery, her Mom went with her so she was never alone. They brought me food once so I didn't have all hospital food, which was amazingly kind. Good luck! Praying for you and the child's Mom in this time.
    Birthmom to A, 1/8- the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

    A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao-Tzu

    [Deleted User]bookworm92
  • I will tell you from the HR standpoint, you should tell your HR department.  Adoption is covered with FMLA, this way you will not lose your job while you are off.  It should be handled similarly to a maternity leave.

    ETA:   YAY!!! Tomorrow is the day!!!

    OP may not be eligible for FMLA. But I agree, HR should get a heads up.
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