So my fiancé lived in an entirely different state then I did when I got pregnant. I moved here shortly after I found out we got pregnant on one of my visits. (Little man completely surprised us) This is a first child for both of us. His mother and whole other side of that family want to host a baby shower for me next month. I have only met most of these women twice if not only once. I am already shy at new gatherings to begin with but this is one where I am expected to get presents and what not! My anxiety is in over load. I know I am refuse but honestly I think I would hurt his and his mothers feelings if I did. I just feel really awkward and am staying away from anything to do with the planning. Is ok for this? Is it tacky? I've got no clue.
Considering that you're not supposed to plan your own shower, it's most definitely okay to stay away from the planning.
A shower is a gift from the hostesses and although you may feel awkward about it, you should just be gracious and accept their gift. Likewise with receiving gifts from the family. People love to give baby gifts. Thank them, smile and make some small talk. Then write them a nice thank you card.
This is the grandmother to your child. You're going to have to get used to her at some point and it sounds like she's trying to start off on the right foot. Don't overthink it.
Nothing you've said is tacky at all, it's great that you're not trying to get involved in everything and letting the hostess plan.
I also agree with PP that it sounds like your FMIL wants to start things off on the right foot and is welcoming you and the baby to the family. Just breathe, smile, be gracious, and you'll get through it.
TTC #1 since 11/2012 Me-31, H-27 **Loss 1-Cycle 7(June 2013) at 5w6d-CP**Loss 2-Cycle 11(October 2013) at 5w4d-CP** **Loss 3-Cycle 14 (January-February 2014)-M/C dx 2/10, EP dx 2/24, MTX 2/25** Beta Hell--hCG finally down to 0 - 6/20/14 SA normal. Genetic testing normal. Hormonal testing normal. HSG 6/30/14 - found blocked left tube and 2 'bubbles' on uterine wall. Hysteroscopy/Lap--8/4/14 - Tubes unblocked. Polyps removed from uterine wall. Septum removed. 9/30/14--Off the bench! Unmedicated TI through December 2014 BFP 12/14/14!!! Beta #1, 12/16: 990 Beta #2, 12/18: Over 2000! Beta #3, 12/22: over 8000! U/S #1, 12/23: gestational sac, possible heartbeat U/S #2, 12/30: HEARTBEAT! 128bpm, measuring right on at 7w EDD: 8/19/2015 U/S #3, 1/9: BPM in the 180s, IT'S HAPPENING!!!
Is there an opportunity to get together with anyone who will be attending the shower to get to know them better so you don't feel as awkward? Even if it is just one or two of the women (someone your SO is close to as well) may help lessen your anxiety.
Thank you ladies, considering how honest I know you guys to be on here, I actually feel a little better about it. My SO is not exactly "close" to anyone including family so getting to know anyone in this town is really up to me. Lol and I'm shy to begin with! And the couple times I have met the family (Thanksgiving and Christmas party) they are all super nice and welcoming. I've just never been one to be comfortable taking stuff from others, let alone a whole party surrounded around giving me gifts. Although I do try to remind myself they are gifts for the baby to use technically. You guys really have made me feel much better about this and I even mentioned this post to him and the responses making me feel better about it. Thank you again!
Re: How to get over my feeling of weirdness..
A shower is a gift from the hostesses and although you may feel awkward about it, you should just be gracious and accept their gift. Likewise with receiving gifts from the family. People love to give baby gifts. Thank them, smile and make some small talk. Then write them a nice thank you card.
This is the grandmother to your child. You're going to have to get used to her at some point and it sounds like she's trying to start off on the right foot. Don't overthink it.
I also agree with PP that it sounds like your FMIL wants to start things off on the right foot and is welcoming you and the baby to the family. Just breathe, smile, be gracious, and you'll get through it.
Me-31, H-27
**Loss 1-Cycle 7(June 2013) at 5w6d-CP**Loss 2-Cycle 11(October 2013) at 5w4d-CP**
**Loss 3-Cycle 14 (January-February 2014)-M/C dx 2/10, EP dx 2/24, MTX 2/25**
Beta Hell--hCG finally down to 0 - 6/20/14
SA normal. Genetic testing normal. Hormonal testing normal.
HSG 6/30/14 - found blocked left tube and 2 'bubbles' on uterine wall.
Hysteroscopy/Lap--8/4/14 - Tubes unblocked. Polyps removed from uterine wall. Septum removed.
9/30/14--Off the bench! Unmedicated TI through December 2014
BFP 12/14/14!!! Beta #1, 12/16: 990 Beta #2, 12/18: Over 2000! Beta #3, 12/22: over 8000!
U/S #1, 12/23: gestational sac, possible heartbeat
U/S #2, 12/30: HEARTBEAT! 128bpm, measuring right on at 7w EDD: 8/19/2015
U/S #3, 1/9: BPM in the 180s, IT'S HAPPENING!!!