I just found out that my boyfriend has been doing/dealing drugs behind my back. I almost had a panic attack when I found out. We know that isn't good for me or the baby... I could use some prayers please. Thank you so much.
Lots of prayers sent your way. If you haven't yet contacted the police, I would suggest doing so. I know it sounds difficult, and drugs offenses are many times sentenced harshly, but if your boyfriend ever wants to be a healthy part of your life and your baby's, then you need to be selfish and responsible and get him the help he needs.
This is out of nowhere. We've been dating for a year & I had no idea. I wouldn't even know what to look for honestly. I don't even know what drugs look like. I found out from his phone. I'm still living at my parents house & he's not welcome here anymore.
Glad you are somewhere safe. I will keep you in my prayers. If he is dealing, this didn't just start. You either decide to accept that kind of life or not. A baby makes it complicated or very simple. You either will tolerate it or not. In the end no one can tell you what to do. I have been in those relationships (not preggo though) and it always ended because I haven't done drugs since college. One of you can't be hitting the pipe while the other goes to church! Find out by talking to him. Either he's freaking under the pressure or this is his life.
Oh my. I am so glad to hear you are somewhere safe for you and your LO. I'll be sending thoughts and prayers for strength your way. I can't imagine how you're feeling, but I'm with PP's that this would be an automatic deal breaker for me.
I have no advice, as I don't know what he might be capable of (violence etc) and don't want you in harm's way by reporting him, but I pray for your safety and ability to get through this with the love and support of your family and friends. You and your baby deserve better, momma. I hope he either cleans up and steps up (very unlikely) or that you can amicably part ways and agree that you don't share common values or life goals. Be strong, and do whatever is best and safest for you and your baby. Big hugs.
Me: 34 DH: 36
Married since 11/11/11 BFP#1 10/5/13 MC 11/11/13 @9wks 3d BFP#2 7/20/14 EDD 4/4/15
So sorry to hear this. My best friend just left her boyfriend of 8 years who was dealing (she knew but chose to look the other way), her final straw happened when the police pulled him over with her in the car and almost took them both to jail because of the amount he had on them. Stay strong. It's hard to do but the best for everyone!
Just for clarification.... I have been working as a lawyer in law enforcement for 10 years. You can make an anonymous report and your anonymous status will be protected whether you call the crime stoppers hotline and don't leave any personal information or speak directly to an officer indicating you want to remain anonymous.
His being reported can save his life. People get shot and killed in drug deals gone wrong all the time. I have seen people skip out on the court dates to avoid incarceration and get killed the next week. I have seen people become incarcerated and take advantage of drug treatment programs in the jail and completely change their life around.
Reporting him is definitely something to consider. It could save his life.
Just for clarification.... I have been working as a lawyer in law enforcement for 10 years. You can make an anonymous report and your anonymous status will be protected whether you call the crime stoppers hotline and don't leave any personal information or speak directly to an officer indicating you want to remain anonymous.
His being reported can save his life. People get shot and killed in drug deals gone wrong all the time. I have seen people skip out on the court dates to avoid incarceration and get killed the next week. I have seen people become incarcerated and take advantage of drug treatment programs in the jail and completely change their life around.
Reporting him is definitely something to consider. It could save his life.
Very good point @pistachio&blush - I should have been more clear, too. I more meant that I didn't want to suggest she report him and then for her to share that info with him (or have anyone else do so) as a "it's for your own good" move and then have him find out/ take it out on her. I agree entirely that an anonymous tip may be for the best and could save his life.
Me: 34 DH: 36
Married since 11/11/11 BFP#1 10/5/13 MC 11/11/13 @9wks 3d BFP#2 7/20/14 EDD 4/4/15
Thank you everyone for your support. It means a lot to me. Yes, the relationship IS over. I will not allow drugs around me or my baby. My parents are good friends with a cop in our town so they are going to let him know. My ex needs a ton of help & obviously I can't give that to him. He is out of my life for good until he's clean. (Which I'm already assuming won't happen.)
Thank you everyone for your support. It means a lot to me. Yes, the relationship IS over. I will not allow drugs around me or my baby. My parents are good friends with a cop in our town so they are going to let him know. My ex needs a ton of help & obviously I can't give that to him. He is out of my life for good until he's clean. (Which I'm already assuming won't happen.)
Thank you again.
Not that the opinion of an Internet stranger matters, but I am so incredibly impressed with and proud of you. =D> You are already an awesome mom.
Me: 34 DH: 36
Married since 11/11/11 BFP#1 10/5/13 MC 11/11/13 @9wks 3d BFP#2 7/20/14 EDD 4/4/15
Thank you everyone for your support. It means a lot to me. Yes, the relationship IS over. I will not allow drugs around me or my baby. My parents are good friends with a cop in our town so they are going to let him know. My ex needs a ton of help & obviously I can't give that to him. He is out of my life for good until he's clean. (Which I'm already assuming won't happen.)
Thank you again.
Not that the opinion of an Internet stranger matters, but I am so incredibly impressed with and proud of you. =D> You are already an awesome mom.
Thank you... I'm not going to put up with his crap. I have to do what is best for me & my baby. I'm so thankful for my parents support & I know my church family will be there for me too.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. T&P to you and baby. So glad that you are being so strong through this and that you have such good support from your friends and family.
What a dreadful thing to have to deal with. I'm so sorry. But super glad to hear you're taking a stand and putting yourself and your baby first. You should be proud of yourself for that. Wishing you strength.
I'm sorry you're going through this. But I'm glad you have your parents and a good head on your shoulders! That's gotta be tough, but you're already an awesome mom for thinking of what's best for your baby.
I'm sorry hon. That must've been a shock. I'm glad you're staying with your folks already because that makes things easier. Unfortunately I think this is (or at least should be) a deal-breaker. Whether or not you report him is up to you, but I'm sure you wouldn't want your child in that kind of atmosphere. Stay strong and do the right thing.
Wowzers, this is no good. You certainly don't need to subject yourself to dangerous behavior while pregnant and you really don't need to subject your child to it either. I'm glad you're safe with your parents and I hope he gets the help he needs, if not for himself, for his child.
My brother was a heroin addict. No one is better at lying than an addict. He had been clean now for 5 years, but he had to hit his rock bottom. (Homeless in Chicago in the middle of winter with no phone and no money). He was arrested at least twice and that second time no one would bail him out. He sat there for 30 days and got sober and took a good look around. He went from jail to a rehab facility and then went to AA meetings. This was a very horrible and painful experience for everyone involved. He stole from all of us and became someone I didn't recognize. (I love my baby brother more than I love my own life) You are not safe around an addict and neither is your baby. The best thing you can do for him is to walk away and make sure his family knows what is going on. Getting arrested can be a blessing!
I am so sorry, lady. I have been going through a similar situation and understand how stressful it can be. I'm so glad to hear you have the support of your family and church family as that is what has helped me through my situation. It is a tough situation to be in and I've learned the hard way that we all need support in situations like this. My thoughts, prayers, and strength go out to you.
I'm so sorry you're going through this but sounds like you have a great support system and you are making awesome and strong decisions for you and your LO. Bravo! Stay strong! I'll be praying for you.
I agree with others who are impressed by your strength during this difficult time. Good for you for taking care of you and your baby. I'm glad you have a support system to lean on.
I've been sober in AA for a little over 7 years. I truly know what it's like unfortunately you have to pull yourself away from him. Enabling him won't help him at all- you need to keep your child and you safe #1. Like previous posters said he has to reach his bottom. I am not sure where u are located but there are alanon meetings world wide which helps ppl deal with this and there is good support and ppl to talk to - were I live in Massachusetts we also have meetings called learn to cope I think that's only a new thing around here tho... Let me know if you have any Q's too. I can only imagine how hard this is for u - Thank God you have your family!!
Sorry you're going through this. First and for most you and the baby are most important. You do not want a baby brought up in that lifestyle. If he's hiding drug use and dealing, what else is he hiding. Get out now for the the sake of your baby.
I'm sorry your going through this! Glad to here you have someone to tell and your baby and yourself are safe. Thinking of you. I can't even imagine what your going through. Hugs.
That really really sucks. I'm sorry you have to go through this. But its lucky you found out now and not later on when you and your baby could have been living with and depending on him. Hang in there, you'll get through!
Re: Prayers Please
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I'm sorry hon.
Me: 34 DH: 36
Married since 11/11/11
BFP#1 10/5/13 MC 11/11/13 @9wks 3d
BFP#2 7/20/14 EDD 4/4/15
His being reported can save his life. People get shot and killed in drug deals gone wrong all the time. I have seen people skip out on the court dates to avoid incarceration and get killed the next week. I have seen people become incarcerated and take advantage of drug treatment programs in the jail and completely change their life around.
Reporting him is definitely something to consider. It could save his life.
Me: 34 DH: 36
Married since 11/11/11
BFP#1 10/5/13 MC 11/11/13 @9wks 3d
BFP#2 7/20/14 EDD 4/4/15
Thank you again.
Me: 34 DH: 36
Married since 11/11/11
BFP#1 10/5/13 MC 11/11/13 @9wks 3d
BFP#2 7/20/14 EDD 4/4/15