Can we drink now?

angelashly

I am taking the decorations down. I think I need a shot

angelashly

Oh no. T&p chickie

ErinO21

As soon as LO is in bed I will be heading straight for the wine. He has been up my ass since we got home from target and other errands. Like wants to be held then down immediately after I pick him up. Make up your mind kid!

pearlofwisdom1

I was invited to a party tonight but decided not to go. It starts at 7 but I'm not feeling it. I'm on the couch eating an generic poptart. I should have put them back when I realized my mistake.

littlestjerry

chickie03 said:

Looks like none for me tonight. DS refused lunch and is now refusing dinner. He feels warm but fights the thermometer like you wouldn't believe. Oh, and he's being a stage 5 clinger. Hopefully it's not another night of puking!

DS fights the thermometer like a mad man too! It's so frustrating. There has to be a better way with thermometers and kids. 

Hope he's ok! 

pearlofwisdom1

I bought a quick 2 second thermometer from walmart. I take DD's using her armpit. 

littlestjerry

pearlofwisdom1 said:

I bought a quick 2 second thermometer from walmart. I take DD's using her armpit. 

He would flip his shit at an armpit situation. We have one for the forehead that takes like 10 full seconds, which feels like 25 minutes with him. He'll move at 8 seconds and then we get an error reading and have to start over. Argggggggghh. 

I want the ones the pediatricians have, but they're probably really expensive. 

jamjoyful

I'm making frozen hot chocolate per DD2's request. She's insisting on dumping in all the ingredients. Save me...

littlestjerry

Chocolate wine wasn't the worst thing I've ever had. A few sips was good enough, though. 

slednecksmomma

I painted my dinning room and living room today (doing second coats tomorrow) and it is a HUGE improvement.  

H is picking up tacos and drinks from the bar.

I also drew eyebrows on my blonde child.  So there's that...

littlestjerry

It appears DS was really traumatized by the Elf incident of last week. He's gotten the DVD out of the drawer like 15 times and brought it to me and said "I VERY don't like this movie." I get it, I'm sorry! 

klondikebar

@triplea598 My kids have hurt themselves many times when I could have prevented it and was near them. Don't beat yourself up about it. Shit happens.

klondikebar

The kids were having an intense light saber fight in the basement playroom which is the appropriate area for being wild. They bring up the light sabers to put away after they finished and DH snagged one. He pretended to hit DD, tripped, missed her and knocked a picture off of the wall. The frame hit a vase, cracked it and the glass in the frame shattered. Really, DH? DS1 looked at me wide eyed and asked if they were going to have their light sabers taken away now. lol

slednecksmomma

BrightEyes112 said:

I hate it when people snowmobile down my road.

Sorry

ErinO21

LO went to bed around his normal time (which is early for the last few weeks) and DH is at a movie with our niece and nephew. My ass is sitting in the recliner watching friends and drinking a glass of wine. If hell isn't frozen over already, it will be soon.

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NarwhalBacon

Had pizza for dinner. Now playing CAH and trying not to freak because school starts on Wednesday and I don't think I'm ready.  :-S

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jacksoha

Luker intro from June14 I'm a bottle of wine in and I just opened a Sparks. Don't have anyone to drunk text so I'm introing here. I've been hanging out here for awhile but my bottle wine finally gave me the courage to join in.

NarwhalBacon

@jacksoha I haven't had Sparks since before I was of legal drinking age. Good times.

jacksoha

@justAphase‌
Fuck white men once you go black you truly don't go back ;-) also thanks for teaching me what unsatisfied sex feels like!

jacksoha

@Mackalien13‌ Sparks is like alcohol/energy drink, I think. Although all I really know is it is great for DH's libido and I am drinking it because I'm drunk and he handed it to me...

klondikebar

Urban Dictionary is giving me the same definition for shocker and Texas shocker. It was worth the search just for the euphemisms.

Checking her fever, with two in the beaver
Two in the clam, one in the SHAZAAM
Two in the clanker, one in the spanker
Two in the coot, one in the boot
Two in the hoo-ha, one in the booya!
Two in the taco, one in the guaco
Two in the Hootie, One in the Blowfish
Two where you fark her, one where it's darker

klondikebar

I'm so hungry and I can't eat yet. No more food posts. :covers eyes:

klondikebar

DH always mentioned how creepy it was to having a baby moving in there when he stopped and thought about it. He'd reference the Kuato scene from Total Recall often. It didn't bother him and he liked feeling the babies move, but he was in awe of it even with the third kid.

NarwhalBacon

Tomato, tomottow

klondikebar

justAphase said:

@klondikebar, your siggy reminded me that @pobrecita inspired me today to wear cuffed skinnyish jeans and moccasins. Like I want to go shopping tomottow.

I have some day glo socks and a tshirt clip you can borrow.

NarwhalBacon

I have left over Chinese from NYE. I just ate pizza.Do I finish the leftovers, too?

bumpuser260585

My MIL brings something from DH's childhood to our house almost every time they come over. We got his old bedroom furniture for DS1 (not my choice ) and the desk was full of random shit. There were 2 medicine bottles full of baby teeth in there. They weren't marked and she couldn't remember if they were from dh or bil. Nobody wants old baby teeth. I threw them out. I offered to give them back to her and she said she wanted us to have them. WTF gross.

jacksoha

@HilarityEnsued‌ I loved feeling LO move inside me! DH was less than enthusiastic. He was always like, "as long as you can feel her move that's cool, I don't need to feel her too."

jorkz821

HilarityEnsued said:

Gdi Diners, Drive-ins and Dives has the worst fucking episode now. They are making head cheese. Dude is just manhandling and brining and simmering a fucking full pig's head.

WUT.

Headcheese is really made from.... head? Ewwwwww

MrsT0514

Gah. Speaking of decade-long pregnancies, holy fuck, it feels like I've been pregnant forever. I'll be 38wks tomorrow and am prayng for some decent contractions. Come on kid!!!!! Lets get this show on the road!

tbmadeamistake

My husband is getting me the best birthday present ever. He's taking both children to his parents' house for the day so I can have the house to myself. Best part is I cleaned today so I don't even have to feel guilty about a mess while I'm relaxing. Sooooo fucking excited.

bumpuser260585

BrightEyes112 said:

Sometimes I completely run out of ideas of what to do with my 6mo old when he's a bit grouchy but not upset because he's bored. Like right now. Cmoooon bedtime.

I read mine Facebook posts on my phone.

MrsT0514

Lilygrace48 said:

My husband is getting me the best birthday present ever. He's taking both children to his parents' house for the day so I can have the house to myself. Best part is I cleaned today so I don't even have to feel guilty about a mess while I'm relaxing. Sooooo fucking excited.

Well that sounds pretty fucking amazing.

bumpuser260585

CFox815 said:

Avswolf said:

I was checking FB and looked up to see 6 chewing on a dog toy. Because I'm going for MOTY tonight, I finished what I was typing and THEN took the toy away.

The other day, my cleaning lady looked at my son and was like, "what are you eating? Oh it's just candy." I looked up because where the f did my 13 month old find candy? Well he had a dog treat. I didn't want my cleaning lady to know my kid had a dog treat so I let him have it for a few extra seconds until she turned her back so I could take it from him.

I was looking at old pictures on my phone with DS1 today. There was one of him around a year old chewing on a rawhide bone. Of course i took a pic before taking it away from him.

thebanich

I went to take a shower to...clean things up a bit. I got out and DH was shaving in the other bathroom.

If we both pass out before anything happens I'm going to LOL.

thebanich

#tmi

thebanich

BrightEyes112 said:

I'm off the clock yo

Baha. I read this as off the cock.

Beer #4!!!

jamjoyful

BrightEyes112 said:

People always told me dogs (or cats?) Had the cleanest mouths in the world. How though? They lick their own genitals and eat shit.

I have always wondered that. I think someone is lying.

thebanich

TonsilHockey said:

So no shower dick shaking @thebanich?

Bahahaha. No. He prob wants to keep his dick.