Pros & Cons

jlovesky

Hi ladies! I have been lurking here a bit and on a few occasions have even expressed that as we are drawing closer to the arrival of baby #2, we are juggling the idea of me leaving my full time job to be a SAHM.

I am wondering from those of you that do this already, what would be some things to put on my list of "things to look at" or areas where I need to weigh the pros & cons in making sure that we choose what works best for our family. I have done plenty of it in my head but being new to the idea, I want to make sure we are covering all important bases before jumping head first one way or the other!

Thanks!!!

jlovesky

I work in the human service field. One downside is knowing how flexible my current job is-I am salary and have an awesome boss that is very understanding when things come up that could require time away from work-although I couldn't work part time or from home once baby arrives- & I wouldn't get back into this position specifically unless they had an opening but the human service provider field in general (which there are quite a few positions for in my area) wouldn't be hard to get back into.

Definitely something I've considered with it. With my degree though, I would not feel too worried about finding a job again down the road once all little ones were in school.

Spin313

Some people love staying at home and others don't. It can be isolating if you don't have a support system of other mom friends who are home during the day. It can also feel like you never get a break because you are ALWAYS at your "job"...there is no off the clock or change of scenery at the workplace. Some couples also have issues establishing division of household tasks (aka "mom not maid").

jdanczyk

I am a new SAHM, before I managed a dog training/doggy daycare & grooming facility.  It was a constant 'go go go' type job, no down time. 
Being a sahm has been great, being able to be with my DD as she grows, watching her change and experience the world ...i'm unable to put words to it as far as how great it is! 
But, with that said, it gets lonely, we dont have family or friends here, the closest is 2.5hrs away.  I do get lonely and crave some adult conversation, but thats where my phone comes into play.  I thought when i started this "oh yeah, i'll clean everyday, cook dinner for my hubs and take care of DD no problem"....yeah it doesn't work like that at all - DD gets all the attention! If you have a support system in place it would probably be pretty great, but without one, you might just have to try it and see if its for you or not. 

MesmrEwe

Every pipe dream about SAHM - such as "the house will be clean..." .. "Dinner will be served at 6 every night and be nutritionally balanced.."  ..  "I'll have so much free time" ...  Get those thoughts out of your head now!  The likelihood of those becoming reality is right next to Unicorns being real - oh wait -technically- ANYWAY...

As PP have mentioned, you're at your "Job" 24/7 - and it can get very lonely, isolating, and unless you invest into having a PT DCP, will often feel like you never get a break!  Our PT DCP is the best money we spend.  Finances are another challenge because being a SAHM doesn't have a formal monetary value it can be a learning experience to divide up the finances, budget, and also "fun money" (i.e. money that you each don't have to be accountable for).  And related to finances - what happens if your partner loses their job, can you financially survive for 6 months without an income.  Also, are you prepared in case something happens like the heater/AC goes out, transmission on the car, unexpected medical bills, etc.  Those are often the things people don't think about beforehand.  Also, what are your professional prospects should you decide to SAHM and 6mo later discover this really isn't the right choice for your family.  Those are the types of questions/realities only you/YH can answer. 

NicoleWI

Cons: Loss of income and benefits. Mostly, loss of my awesome health insurance. Buying our own policy (DH self-employed) SUCKS. We pay megabucks and still have worse coverage than before. Loss of independence of having another side of my world, going out to lunch w/ friends, etc...but I was ready for this part and it is outweighed by pros right now for me. Loss of easy childcare/need to haul the kids most places with me--takes way longer and is much harder. Was really nice having our nanny available to stay late or come on a weekend sometimes! Don't feel like I have the house "Under control" at all and that can be frustrating--feel like I go all day but still don't really make progress.

Pros: LOVE being able to be home when kids wake up from naps. Was so happy to be home after school for DD as she started kindergarten, which was ROUGH for us. Still so happy to be home for her bus each afternoon. Flexibility in our days. No commute. No early meetings with heels and nylons. Less stress over finding/arranging child care for evening events. Being able to attend school events and be a "helper" at school/help with field trips, etc. More time to do some of the seasonal fun things I enjoy but could never fit in. Summer was GREAT. I got to do so many things I couldn't have done while working. Some long weekends out of town, meeting up with old friends, going to the waterpark, etc. Loved it. WE stayed up late and slept in, had picnics, went for walks. More outdoor time for the kids. Now that we are having another baby, I am so happy I don't have to stress over my return-to-work schedule and pumping again. It was always hard for me to go back after maternity leave. Because I worked FT for 5 years with kids, I think I appreciate the little things much more than if I had SAH right away. Having worked so long, I certainly know that there are pros/cons to all child care and many good things re: day care and nannies, but personally right now I like the stability I can provide for our kids by being here at these young ages, and the bond I can build with them. 

 Also, part of our decision was that we felt our situation was simply not at all sustainable as kids would start being involved in school and activities, without a super amazing nanny. We were both at least 1/2 hour away and didn't have a lot of flexibility to leave early, come late, etc. Staying home really makes sense for us right now.

fatcat11188

I have twins, and expecting in April. I have been a SAHM since having my twins. I can't imagine it any other way, and honestly financially it was better for us. Only down fall I see is that my husband works a lot more to have more income for me to be able to stay, that is hard. 

jlovesky

Thank you all for your input! Hubby and I sat down the other night and did a good pros & cons list and are definitely leaning toward me staying home. I think we need to discuss saving more as that has not been a strong point for us before and I know it will be crucial now. But we are looking at a few options for some income for me that would only involve minimal work hours so that would help! Thanks again, I look forward to getting more involved in this forum if and/or when I make that final leap!