Harassment?

theoryofwhat

As I said in my intro, my SO and I split in November due to domestic violence

Now he's sending me texts from multiple numbers so I can't just block them. I've changed my number already over this. He says horrible, horrible things.

The latest read:
"Ya know for a chick who is trying to pin a baby on me that's not mine, take my money, and ruin my name you're pretty fucking stupid. Almost as stupid as you are worthless. You fat, disgusting, stretch mark infested, lying sack of shit. You're just filth, putrid filth and you make me sick."

It's just getting to be too much. The baby is his, I don't know WTF he's talking about. He just wants to move back in with mommy and daddy so he can play video games all night long and without having the responsibility of a child. Parenting isn't easy, and we alllll know that. The fat part of this just makes me feel so, so unattractive. I'm 5lbs from my pre-pregnancy size and can almost fit in my size 2 jeans again- yet he somehow gets under my skin and I'm actually starting to believe I am overweight. And the stretch marks? Yeah, I have them- from growing his child! Ugh!

So, rant aside, I guess my question is is the presence of these texts enough to get a restraining order? Or should I attempt harassment charges?

20thirteen

Well, save them, yes. But there isn't an iron clad why to prove that he is the one who sent them. I suppose maybe things have changed since I last tried to file a police report (several years ago).

Do you know who is giving him your number? I'd cease contact with that person...

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MinnesotaMomma91

Document document document. Screan shot these texts. Stop contact with whoever is giving him your number, talkbto your carrier about blocking all unknown numbers.

My abusive xh controled me by being the one to take control of my history of eating disorders. Ive seen a counselor about this and i have to remind myself that my weight does not matter. I am healthy.

Do not let this worthless shit make you feel bad aboit you. Its a manipulation tactic and one that works but only if you let him. Feel free to pm me if you want to talk more aboit this privatley.

theoryofwhat

He just has a way of pushing my buttons. I just opened a box (I'm unpacking from the move) and on top of everything was our marriage certificate ripped in half. Really, dude?

And I'm guilty of responding to the messages, I'm going to stop. I just hate him getting the last word. Just hoe dare he talk about my weight and stretch marks. Ugh.

I'm so, so sorry you had to put up with that shit @MinnesotaMomma91‌

MinnesotaMomma91

@Yayglitter thank you, i still struggle with my self image after a decade of eating disorders. Its something i will struggle with all my life. But it only bothers me as much i let it.

And DO NOT respond to the aweful messages. I know it sucks letting him have the last work. But he wants you to reapond he wants to get under your skin. Thats how these guys work. Your silence will speak louder then you responding to him.

20thirteen

I agree. Responding is just going to stress YOU out, and make him feel like he's still got power over you. If you don't respond, he might bombard you with more messages but that will be because he wants you to respond so he knows he's still got some sort of power. Ignore him, enough that it doesn't bother you. Keep record of all of it, show an attorney.

tig594

Yes, stop responding for sure.  My daughter's father is currently in prison for violating the no contact order I had put on him.  He would call/text sometimes 50-100 times a day on my cell and work phones.  He'd also show up randomly when I was at the dog park, grocery store, volunteering, etc.  The phone calls were enough to violate him.  Depending on where you live, you can get a no contact or personal protection order just on the calls.  Start by filing a police report.  If there has been physical violence in the past that will help a lot.  All you have to do is tell the police you feel threatened, intimidated and afraid.  But you HAVE to stop responding or they will think you aren't really any of those things and that you don't want him to go away.  If the police are slow to do anything, keep calling them.  They will get tired of dealing with him and will eventually do something about it.  Also, the police reports will help your case when asking for the PPO. 

Oh, and about the other numbers, it doesn't matter what number he calls from if he leaves a VM.  The police should see a pattern in the texts, as well.  Grammer, spelling, content, etc.

You can also download call blocker apps for your mobile.  The ones I tried worked ok...but they weren't fantastic.

theoryofwhat

Okay, he created a whole website dedicated to me being "crazy", like photos, emails, and a huge rant containing pure fiction. Im literally in tears and am so going to fry his ass with my attorney's help.
I just can't deal. There's too much happening too quickly.

MinnesotaMomma91

Keep taking deep breaths. My xh did the same thing with a facebook page after he was served with divorce papers and saw i was pregnant by bd and not him.

He tried to make both me and bd look bad but enough people knew the story behind me leaving(verbal/emotional abuse) and also me getting pregnant(alcohol and feeling hurt). Well instead of me and bd looking bad my xh looked like a jack ass.

I know its hard not to respond when your charecter is attacked but at this point keep all responses through your lawyer so that he cant twist what you say around like this again. I know this is incredibly hard but youll come out.on top stronger. Hugs

tig594

You don't need a lawyer to make police reports and get a ppo.

theoryofwhat

I'm gonna PM you, @MinnesotaMomma91‌

MinnesotaMomma91

@Yayglitter pmed you back

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