just a rough patch?

Steph1673

I'm sorry I haven't been more active on this board for the last few weeks. I just wanted to check in and see if anyone else was experiencing / has experienced a bit of what I have been so we can commiserate, share, support.

I have just felt... blah. Down. I'm 13.5 weeks and I work full time but have been using all of my time off around the holidays to sleep in when I can & nap when I can to help battle my fatigue. Yet I never feel rested. I'm taking diclegis for sickness and if I miss a night I pay for it the next day. I was blaming my fatigue on the meds but even when I skip I'm still incredibly tired. Then of course, for me this was 2IF, so I have an almost 4 year-old to tend to who is hitting a rough patch herself, and likes to defy and question everything. 

Last pregnancy was over 4 years ago, so maybe it's my age (almost 34) coupled with the fact that I have a preschooler making me more tired, making this time different? Or, is it worse, and is it possibly pre-natal depression (I fell down the google hole tonight and was weeping at my laptop)? 

I feel SO GUILTY feeling this way. How could someone who battled IF possibly COMPLAIN about being pregnant? With DD #1, even though I was sick for 22 weeks, I LOVED being pregnant and this time I feel... blah. Down. Was I younger & naive, and is this feeling still a normal, but different pregnancy symptom especially for someone with IF? Or could it be something more?

Has anyone else experienced something similar?

dp21

This is my first pregnancy but I slept through all of first tri. I worked evenings so would be awake for work 3p till midnight, sleep 1230am till 2p, would maybe get up to eat something and go back to bed...too tired to shower/pee. It was ridiculous, I didn't feel depressed though...just extremely tired.... couldn't imagine having another kid. I think it is ok to complain....I have an IVF baby and I'm 39 weeks, puked last night on myself and floor from horrible reflux and screamed I want this baby out! Grateful to be pregnant but doesn't mean it doesn't have its sucky parts!!! Hope you feel better!

gsancho

This has been my first pregnancy, but I was so miserable, tired, and sick during first tri that I used up all my sick days and a chunk of vacation days from work.  So I don't think what you are feeling is too unusual.  I don't know how I would manage if I got pregnant again and felt that way with a little one on my hands - so you are a trooper!

kmc84

((Hugs)) it's so hard having a kid at home! When I was pg with A I was working as a nurse, some 8 and some 12 hour shifts. I was tired, but got through the day fine. My pg was so easy, I just had a lot of IF brain stressing me out.

This time, I had some MS, early terrible heartburn, was utterly exhausted until about 16 weeks, and I'm a SAHM to a 21 month old. It's much harder this time around!

I've felt a little depressed this time, although I wouldn't say that I am depressed. I have had terribly mommy guilt about bring home another baby. I know it will be fine and that A will really enjoy a sibling, there's just so much emotion involved and I was having a hard time sorting it all out. As I approach my 3rd tri and we are starting to prepare baby #2's room, I have been feeling more optimistic about everything.

That said, pre natal depression is real and should not be ignored. Please talk to your doctor and your husband. Explain what you have been feeling, don't leave out the worst feelings, it may help in the end. Maybe you Dh can step in a little more to help at home, maybe your doc can recommend a therapist to talk to. If you need it, there are anti depressants/anti anxiety meds that are safe while pg. It may only be a very temporary thing, but please don't ignore how you're feeling.

southernyankeegirl

I hope you're about to turn a corner - 13 weeks was about when I went from being a sleepy amoeba on the couch who required a 2+ hour nap per day and any small task felt like an impossible hurdle to being much more active and... Well, awake! It wasn't until I was past it that I realized just how useless and tired I was during 1st Tri. I imagine with a kiddo to chase, it's that much harder!

Hopefully your 2nd Tri burst of energy is coming soon!

pblge

(((hugs))) This is my first, so I don't know anything about being pregnant with a toddler around. Even so, I have a very different opinion about pregnancy at this point. It ain't no cake walk, and I sy this even though mine's been relatively easy. The hardest part so far was that I was basically asleep until about 16 weeks and could barely function. I hear those last several weeks get pretty rough, too. Even those of us who desperately wanted to be pregnant aren't required to be farting rainbows all the time during all this.

If you think you might have prenatal depression, do seek help. It might be worth finding a good social worker, just to talk through your fears.

mrs.willie

I can definitely commiserate with you. As hard as it was to get here and how happy I am to be to this point, it doesn't mean that I have to be happy 24/7 especially with everything going on. I also feel bad about feeling miserable, but I try to remind myself I'm still allowed to feel that way. I'm also 34 and DS is 2 1/2. I was miserably sick when I was pregnant with him and on zofran until about 26 weeks.

I definitely feel like it's a lot harder this time around too. I started diclegis at 11 weeks and am still taking it at 30 weeks. I take two at night and one in the morning. My OB said to take it at bedtime, but I found if I take it a little earlier around 7 or 7:30, I'm not so tired in the a.m. These past three weeks I've been soooo tired and napping (like 2-3 hour naps!) on my days off. Mixing in an active toddler at home, the holidays, the weather, work and everything else with being pregnant will definitely leave you feeling miserable and exhausted.

It can't hurt to mention these emotions to your DH and OB and maybe they can offer some ideas to help. Try to add in a little exercise when you can even if you're tired, make yourself do something. I found it helped a little. Hope you're feeling better soon!

hopeby2015

((Hugs)) this is my first as well and there have been a few days here and there where I've felt just sad and lonely. First time I thought it had something to do with getting the flu shot but by the 2nd time, I realized that it was me. I definitely recommend at the very least talking with your DH or some other family/friend! As for 1st tri, I too slept through until about week 12 - I can't imagine what I would do if I had a kid running around as well! Hope you can get the help you need!

AmCheri

Ah, yes, IF really has a way of messing with us, including somehow making us feel as if we should love every second of pregnancy, and that we have no right to complain about it. Honestly, I think we've earned that right more so than anyone else. It's not complaining, as I see it, it's more like observing the suckiness of pregnancy at times.

I'm 38 and pregnant with our second, will deliver at 39. The two years since I was last pregnant have made a huge difference. I work full time in a high-stress job, so does DH, and we have an 18-month old. I have not handled this pregnancy well at all. More tired. More emotional. More crying. More aches and pains. You are not alone! It could be a rough patch, or you could be having a tough pregnancy. If you think you could be dealing with depression, talk to your doctor. Let your husband know you're struggling. Take it easy on yourself. You will get through this. Hugs.

Steph1673

Thank you ALL so much for responding. I got a small sense of relief reading each and every post. Last night was my peak of these feelings and I did talk to DH about it. He doesn't fully understand of course, but he is supportive. And today was better. I got out of the house all day, went to my mom and dad's so they could help with DD, etc. I just feel better knowing that I am not alone in this and I do plan to talk to my OB this week at my next appointment. Thank you, thank you for the virtual hugs and support. I'm sorry anyone has to deal with similar feelings but I'm glad to know I have a place to turn and talk about it. 

RunCC37

I'm glad to hear that you're taking care of yourself. I'm pregnant with my first, and dealing with a loss at the same time (we lost Baby B on Dec 22nd). In general, I'm exhausted. I think it is partly because of the pregnancy, but also mostly from trying to hold it together for so long down this bumpy path of infertility. Put on top of it that I've had to put my favorite activities to the side (running & my music ensemble) and it's enough to leave me feeling completely unlike myself these days. I have suffered from depression at various points along our journey through infertility... And it scares me to see the signs and triggers. But at the same time, it's worse to stifle the feelings. It's important to work through it, and even when it feels like it'll never end, just try to hang on and know that it will pass. And like the other ladies said, get help even if you think you can handle it. It never hurts to talk to someone or to take a little time for yourself

lawmom747

Hang in there @Steph1673.  I'm having a much rougher pregnancy this time too and it is draining to also being dealing with a preschooler. 

I have complained a lot to family and close friends who know we are pregnant about the rough road I am on and I don't feel any shame in it.  I have had lifting and activity restrictions since ET due to the OHSS so I have had to ask for a lot of help from people and have really leaned on DH.

Take care of yourself, and keep your family involved as much as possible.  I am sure that spending time with family may also help with your daughter's behavior too. Sometimes a change of scenery makes a difference.